Guys (or ladies)...What Makes a Woman "Goody-Goody" vs. Sexy/"Sensual" in your eyes?

[Mystique01]

Okay, so I have this friend of mine who's really sweet. She's gorgeous, friendly, really down to earth, and really bubbly although kind of shy when she first meets people. She's really drop dead gorgeous.

 

Well, I tried to hook her up with a single guy friend of mine recently, but when he I asked him how the date went, he was like: "Oh it was cool. She's really nice and sweet and everything, but....there just wasn't anything there. She's a little too nice...like too goody-goody". I was like, "but aren't you looking for a nice woman you can marry since you eventually want to settle down right?" (he's always talking about how he wants to get married) and he agreed. But he then wanted to know if I had any other girl friends who had more sensual appeal. I just found his logic interesting.

 

So my question is for guys... What gives you the impression that a woman is "too nice" or "goody-goody" when you first meet her? Is it something you can pick up on? And is this a turn OFF? Or do you not care either way?

 

What gives you the impression that a woman is "sexy"? Would you be more drawn to her instead of the "Goody-goody" woman? Or, does it depend on where you are in your life and what TYPE of relationship you are looking for?

 

Feel free to explain, embellish, etc. This is a no-judgement zone lol.

[neowulf]

Okay, so I have this friend of mine who's really sweet. She's gorgeous, friendly, really down to earth, and really bubbly although kind of shy when she first meets people. She's really drop dead gorgeous.

 

Well, I tried to hook her up with a single guy friend of mine recently, but when he I asked him how the date went, he was like: "Oh it was cool. She's really nice and sweet and everything, but....there just wasn't anything there. She's a little too nice...like too goody-goody". I was like, "but aren't you looking for a nice woman you can marry since you eventually want to settle down right?" (he's always talking about how he wants to get married) and he agreed. But he then wanted to know if I had any other girl friends who had more sensual appeal. I just found his logic interesting.

 

So my question is for guys... What gives you the impression that a woman is "too nice" or "goody-goody" when you first meet her? Is it something you can pick up on? And is this a turn OFF? Or do you not care either way?

 

What gives you the impression that a woman is "sexy"? Would you be more drawn to her instead of the "Goody-goody" woman? Or, does it depend on where you are in your life and what TYPE of relationship you are looking for?

 

Feel free to explain, embellish, etc. This is a no-judgement zone lol.

 

Eh, I think it's dangerous to make generalisations based on the preferences of a single guy.

 

Some guys are drawn to "good and noble" women. Others want someone with a bit more of an edge. I don't think either is "right", it's just a preference.

 

That said, I think a lot of women have completely lost the ability to "flirt". That slightly naughty, playful banter is a HUGE part of people getting together. Being too "good" can come across as stiff and not a lot of fun.

 

There's also potentially the sense of the judgemental nature of the "goody good". The "holier than thou" attitude that can pervade. Perhaps it's just a general mistrust that anyone seeming "That good" has something to hide.

 

I absolutely want a good woman, but one who's had to face down bad a few times herself. The "goody good" types often sport a degree of naivety. It's easy to be good when you've never faced real darkness or hardship.

[SwordofFlame]

I think I've been on a lot of first dates with these goody goody types. I will say that the girl doesn't flirt at all, body language is neutral. The conversation never veers into (for a lack of a better term) slightly naughtier topics. Basically, I wonder if she just wants to be my friend and has no interest in me physically. Or will make me have to wine and dine her repeatedly to win her over. If I'm not that into her, I figure all the effort required just isn't worth it.

[avintagegirl]

I think I've been on a lot of first dates with these goody goody types. I will say that the girl doesn't flirt at all, body language is neutral. The conversation never veers into (for a lack of a better term) slightly naughtier topics. Basically, I wonder if she just wants to be my friend and has no interest in me physically. Or will make me have to wine and dine her repeatedly to win her over. If I'm not that into her, I figure all the effort required just isn't worth it.

 

I think I am one of these women - well this type of woman. From my perspective a first date is just getting to know a fellow. I don't necessarily know that I would delve into slightly naughtier topics for fear that is all he would associate me with, when the reality is I have more to offer. It would not mean I didn't have an interest in the fellow or laugh and smile and be friendly, but I am probably also not going to hint about you getting into my skirt until I feel like I know you better.

 

Just my two cents, spend it how you will!

[neowulf]

I think I am one of these women - well this type of woman. From my perspective a first date is just getting to know a fellow. I don't necessarily know that I would delve into slightly naughtier topics for fear that is all he would associate me with, when the reality is I have more to offer. It would not mean I didn't have an interest in the fellow or laugh and smile and be friendly, but I am probably also not going to hint about you getting into my skirt until I feel like I know you better.

 

Just my two cents, spend it how you will!

 

See, I don't disagree with your approach. Racing onwards into "inappropriate" territory too quickly is a great way to crash out a date, or as you say, put forward the wrong message.

 

You want a relationship, not a hook up, so I can understand the reluctance to get to "naughty" straight up.

 

Really, it all comes back to the skill of flirting. I've had some absolutely *wonderful* times flirting back and forth with some of my dates. It shows a great sense of humor, a playfulness that can be a lot of fun.

 

The trick is to find the right balance for yourself.

[fitnessfan365]

I like a woman that's feisty, sarcastic, flirtatious, and that can keep me on my toes. So if a woman is too nice and sweet, it's more like how a friend would act. Not like a woman that's attracted and wants to get under your skin. That's why there's so much sexual tension w/my GF and me. We don't let each other get away with anything. So it creates a fun playful dynamic.

[crederer]

She doesn't get his dick hard. She doesn't tickle his fancy. Simple as that.

[avintagegirl]

 

Really, it all comes back to the skill of flirting.

 

 

So true. I tend so say more with my eyes and my expressions than I do verbally. It is great when I meet someone who is that way as well. I think one of the best compliments I have ever received is that I say more with a quick glance than some could express in a entire sentence.

 

Maybe it is time to amp up the more verbal end of things?

[Woggle]

I like a sweet woman with a good heart but one who is that way because it is her core being and not one who is a naive people pleaser. I can spot the difference. I don't want some drama laden woman who will start fights for no reason though. Despite what some men think crazy woman are not better in bed.

[seekingluck]

I am probably one of the goody goody women. I am a good flirt, but I am pretty as my friends might say, a little southern belle like.

[casey.lives]

As someone who has been called a goody goody... we have our own special brand of sensuality.. it's more on the private -up- close- and- personal side... so...

[h0000]

I think I am one of these women - well this type of woman. From my perspective a first date is just getting to know a fellow. I don't necessarily know that I would delve into slightly naughtier topics for fear that is all he would associate me with, when the reality is I have more to offer. It would not mean I didn't have an interest in the fellow or laugh and smile and be friendly, but I am probably also not going to hint about you getting into my skirt until I feel like I know you better.

 

Just my two cents, spend it how you will!

I think some women are naturally playful doesn't matter if it's first date or not. Doesn't matter if she knows you or not and such playfulness is not the "hinting about getting into my skirt" kind. Some women are just sexy without hinting anything sexual lol

[casey.lives]

And because i like a man with a deep multi layer imagination - it works wonders for me - it keeps the simple weak minded mentally slow guys out!!

 

It's purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect

xoxo

[Mystique01]

Very interesting! So basically a goody goody can be described as:

-Doesn't flirt

-doesn't engage in playful banter

-Acts holier than thou

-doesn't loosen up; seems stiff

 

Did I forget anything?

 

 

 

I think some women are naturally playful doesn't matter if it's first date or not. Doesn't matter if she knows you or not and such playfulness is not the "hinting about getting into my skirt" kind. Some women are just sexy without hinting anything sexual lol

 

So that was the second part of my question....what does a woman do/or how does she act that makes you think "she's sexy" without hinting at anything sexual at all? Is it just the way she's carries herself? How comfortable with herself? What?

 

I'm trying to give my girl some advice here so that the next time she goes out on a date she can try those skills. I'm not a guy and I never grew up with brothers so it's best to find out from guys themselves instead of me trying to tell her what I as a woman would think.

 

Like I said, she's really sweet, but ummmm...no offense but she's a little on the inexperienced side when it comes to relationships. She's had a few, but she always complains about the same thing...guys think she's too nice. It baffles my mind because most guys always say they're tired of women who act like straight up b*****s, but at the same time, they dunno the nice girl? It doesn't mane sense to me lol, so that's why I'm asking men.

 

 

That said, I think a lot of women have completely lost the ability to "flirt". That slightly naughty, playful banter is a HUGE part of people getting together. Being too "good" can come across as stiff and not a lot of fun.

.

Lol that's so interesting! See, this comes naturally to me lol. I didn't realize guys viewed it as flirting so much, as just having fun. . I'll have to keep that in mind.

 

Maybe I'll tell her to try bantering back and forth more with guys and see if that helps.

[h0000]

 

So that was the second part of my question....what does a woman do/or how does she act that makes you think "she's sexy" without hinting at anything sexual at all? Is it just the way she's carries herself? How comfortable with herself? What?

 

 

Yeah it is how you carry yourself as a whole, the vibe you give out. The tone when you talk, the way you act, your body language, how you look at people in the eyes, etc..I have to say it's your look as well. For example Megan Fox is just sexy without doing anything lol

[joseb]

Very interesting! So basically a goody goody can be described as:

-Doesn't flirt

-doesn't engage in playful banter

-Acts holier than thou

-doesn't loosen up; seems stiff

 

Did I forget anything?

 

 

I was out at a party recently. There was a really hot girl there, just my type, so I got talking to her. She was very clever, worked as an actuary. Initially I wondered how she was single, but within a couple of minutes I could see why.

 

She was boring. Her body language was terrible (folded arms - and I watched her later, she was like this with everyone). Smiled a bit, but not with her eyes.

Really stiff. Made little effort to carry her share of the conversation.

After 3 mins I was out of there.

 

So yeah, tell her to do the opposite of this!

[walkingonair]

It has nothing to do with a person being goody goody. There's nothing wrong with that. Its the fact that the people that are supposed to be in our lives are pre destined to be in our lives. So if you don't click with a person its not because something's wrong with them or you, you weren't supposed to click with them in the first place. Most things in life happen for a reason

[SammySammy]

To me, sexy can be a physical thing. Any woman can be sexy just by being. Some man will find her sexy.

 

Sensuality, on the other hand, is more of an internal thing. It comes from the inside. The way she moves. The way she talks. The way she walks. The way she thinks about and how comfortable she is with sex - her own sexiness.

 

That may be what your friend lacks. A sensuality that exudes from her without being spoken.

 

I'm not a woman, but I'm not sure that sort of sensuality can be taught. It sorta just ... is. Some women just have it. That glint in her eye. That seductive smile. Or simply the knowledge that she's damn sexy and the power it has over men as she walks across the room. How can you teach that?

[itsallamystery]

First, IMHO you dont truly know what your guy friend is after. He could be saying one thing and truly wanting another. I've dated women who were drop dead gorgeous like multiple heads turning on a daily basis (only putting in for perspective) and found them to lack sensuality completely. Sex was good, because they may have had awesome bodies but sensuality is exuded from within.

 

I've also talked to women who were extremely nice, the "goody goody" defined to me as well educated, well spoken, good circle of friends that conveyed a lot of sensuality. I think in sum, its how you present yourself. Context is a huge factor. Two people can say the exact same thing to the same person and it be taken two completely different ways.

 

 

Its a fool who thinks that these things translate into any lack in the sexual department. Might take a little longer to break through to them, and some may not want to put the effort in. I've found it usually pays off.

 

More to the point, if I'm meeting somebody for the first time, they can be shy, I dont mind (I also consider myself a good conversationalist) but I also look for non-verbal cues that tell me more than what she is actually saying. If she is shy as hell but non-verbal language is telling me she's not, it actually intrigues me more. Last week, I listened to a girl stumble over her words while watching her stroke her wine glass very subtly. Huge turn on for me.

 

Your lady friend might not be aware of cues she is telling the guy. Which I think is okay, because why fake those? If she was giving an off-putting vibe, its probably because she wasnt interested. You could learn how to convey interest...but for any other sake of reading another person I think its pointless.

 

Also, maybe your guy friend hasn't thought this far into it

[StBreton]

Lack of playful banter ...with a dash of sexual innuendo ...that's what the goody goody girl is lacking ...along with slightly provocative/flirty body language

 

Act like a woman ...not a girl ...flaunt your femininity

[carhill]

Guys...What Makes a Woman "Goody-Goody" vs. Sexy/"Sensual" in your eyes?

 

How I feel about her.