oldshirt Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 How can you be 'devout Christians' and believe the following? How devout can you really be if you don't acknowledge the bible as the arbiter of right and wrong? You say your friends would consider what you're doing to be 'very wrong'. What would your children(whom I'm assuming you raised in a Christian environment)think about this? as long as everything is legal and between consenting adults, children have virtually no say in their parents sex lives and have zero right or need to know what goes on their parent's bedroom. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
qubist Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 I am willing to keep an open mind on this definition. Please enlighten me. What are the "very clearly defined differences" between what your wife and you have, and "what is considered 'cuckold' lifestyle"? Cuckold is basically a man who accept and submit to the fact that his wife can be taken by a more dominant male. he is not necessary Ok with it but has no choice if he want to still be with his woman. the OP IMO is not a cuckold because, he isn't forced to allow her plus this isn't about a dominant male coming to take her away from him for sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 as long as everything is legal and between consenting adults, children have virtually no say in their parents sex lives and have zero right or need to know what goes on their parent's bedroom. Oldshirt, Agreed, and what the parents do in private is THEIR business. What they do in front of the kids is different, but there's an argument to raise the kids with similar beliefs as the parents. In this case, I'd be totally against that. I'm just not for sharing my toys. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyBry Posted October 31, 2015 Author Share Posted October 31, 2015 as long as everything is legal and between consenting adults, children have virtually no say in their parents sex lives and have zero right or need to know what goes on their parent's bedroom. Agreed. Our children have no idea that anything different has happened in the last two years, and I don't intend that they ever find out. Our children are very balanced, 'good' kids, and they've never given us a bit of trouble. No reason they ever need to know about this stuff. ;p -Cray Link to post Share on other sites
Chrisstro6692 Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 All I can say is, THIS IS NOT A MARRIAGE! Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Hmm. Perhaps I was wrong about this place. I was under the impression it was a place to share experiences about infidelity. Supposedly to give a little moral support, maybe? So far it seems people prefer to pick apart and degrade. Funny old world, isn't it. -Cray This is a place to share about infidelity. Infidelity is spoken here - not recreational swinging. (trust me, I've been charging at that windmill for several years LOL) The entire Loveshack site is really not very swinger/hot wife/cuckold/threesome/promiscuity friendly as general rule. Most of the emphasis here is towards finding and maintaining traditional monogamous marriages and relationships. This specific infidelity board is geared primarily towards traditional, monogamous marriages that have been struck with betrayal and infidelity (which yours was initially in your opening post) Everything on this board is filtered through the looking glass of infidelity and whatever topic is being discussed is analyzed how it either is or how it can pertain to infidelity. Some, and I emphasize, SOME, not all, of your swinging activities carry a very high risk of opening the door of losing attraction and desire for you and shifting that towards another man/men which will then carry a very high risk of infidelity. If you were on a forum board for head trauma survivors and you started talking about your new found love of motorcycle racing, people would be cautioning you and telling tales of the potential injuries you may sustain while racing motorcycles. Its the same thing here. I obviously have no qualms with swinging in general. However everything I have spoken of on this thread I have witnessed first hand in people I have known personally. And I have also read countless other accounts of similar incidents on this and other traditional relationship sites as well as some swinger specific sites. Obviously I don't know you or your wife personally and I have no chrystal ball that tells the future. But many of these things do follow common pathways and follow common trends. If you exceed the speed limit and run every red light you come to, you may get away with it once or twice or maybe even for years, but eventually you are going to crash. The hot wife/cuckold lifestyle is one of those similar topics, eventually one of those things is going to occur. Each of those couples will handle it differently when it happens. Some are able to just call a truce and game over and things go back to relative normal in a short amount of time. And some implode on the spot and never recover. I personally know a couple that had an encounter one weekend and in less than a month the wife moved out and began a new life and had children and raised another family with the other man. This was a seemingly happy and normal couple that said all the same things you are saying. The risk is real. So when the topic of swinging/hot wife/whatever you want to call it, people are going to filter it and discuss it through the context of how it will or can relate to infidelity. If you want to share swinging topics and have it all be fun and excitement and high fives, go to Swingers Board. They love to talk about that stuff and mostly the positive stories and aspect are discussed there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Again, you're assuming. You know absolutely nothing about her remorse. I haven't even talked about that yet. In fact, you know pretty much nothing about what originally happened and what played out. You haven't even bothered to ask... you just create your own conclusions and tell me I'm wrong. And once again resort to insults... calling me weak. You think you can judge my situation based on what? Your superior knowledge of our history? *lol* You should do stand up. I think you missed your calling. -Cray Cray, Maybe you should expand on her remorse instead of criticizing someone who is offering good suggestions and comments. You DO have a very strange and risky way of dealing with infidelity. Perhaps you could take some of the experienced posters here seriously and maybe lower your risk and improve your marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyBry Posted November 1, 2015 Author Share Posted November 1, 2015 Cray, Maybe you should expand on her remorse instead of criticizing someone who is offering good suggestions and comments. You DO have a very strange and risky way of dealing with infidelity. Perhaps you could take some of the experienced posters here seriously and maybe lower your risk and improve your marriage. I believe I've shown that I'm perfectly willing to discuss/respond to questions or conversation that is constructive. What I won't do is continue conversing with those that just want to validate their own opinions while ignoring any point I make. There is no value to it. If one person had bothered to ask, I would be happy to respond. But please don't insult my intelligence by stating that the trolls are offering good advice. (And before anyone claims it, that is not me saying they are all trolls... but some most definitely are.) -Cray Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 (edited) Your lifestyle choices are your own, doesn't matter if I agree with them or not but that doesn't change the fact that you are in a relationship with someone that changes the rules as it suits her. The men I know that are active swingers are both bisexual and in a way they use their wives to get their needs served without having to disclose this fact to too many people. Honoring boundaries is key to the success of any relationship, if you have doubts about your partner because of actions past or present, you will never feel safe. If you can't feel safe it's only a matter of time before it all unravels. From reading your post my personal impression is that your wife is directing the path your relationship takes and that may be affecting how safe you feel. I guess what bothers me about your post is that you stated you really enjoyed watching her with another man. Knowing this she initiates wanting to be alone with another man without you being present. This makes it all about her and not so much about you or your needs. That is very bothersome in my opinion and a cause for concern. Edited November 1, 2015 by aliveagain 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Horton Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 as long as everything is legal and between consenting adults, children have virtually no say in their parents sex lives and have zero right or need to know what goes on their parent's bedroom. I didn't say anything about rights or kids deserving a 'say' in their parent's sex life. All I'm saying is that if kids are brought up in a wholesome 'Leave it to Beaver' environment and they later find out that mom and dad are living a secret life that contradicts everything they were raised to believe they're gonna feel betrayed, confused, or even devastated upon discovery. They'll likely question everything they were taught by their parents including their religious beliefs. You can't have bible trivia night with the kiddos on Tuesday and then gleefully watch your wife getting pounded by some guy on Wednesday without having a serious case of cognitive dissonance IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 I believe I've shown that I'm perfectly willing to discuss/respond to questions or conversation that is constructive. What I won't do is continue conversing with those that just want to validate their own opinions while ignoring any point I make. There is no value to it. If one person had bothered to ask, I would be happy to respond. But please don't insult my intelligence by stating that the trolls are offering good advice. (And before anyone claims it, that is not me saying they are all trolls... but some most definitely are.) -Cray Cray, I'm trying to sympathize and help you. There are folks her that have a lot more experience with what you're doing than I do, so I'll defer to them. However, from what I've read and seen in life sure leads me to question your lifestyle as having questionable success. As for your wive's remorse, where does that stand? She did cheat on you, as you posted. As for your current sharing sex with others, I'll not comment any more, but good luck with that. Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 You might call it Hotwifing, in that I allow her to be alone with certain men. But there is no cuckold factor to it; when she plays, it's only after she and I arrange it. If either one of us is at all uncomfortable with something, we don't do it. -Cray that's a personal choice. who are we to comment on your arrangement? Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Were going to close this up for a bit while we take a look at some of the interaction here. Once things are cleaned up we will see about reopening this topic to discussion. ~Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
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