Should I tell a friend that her husband is cheating on her?

[Stercrazy]

I would tell the cheater "either you tell her or I will." And set a specific time frame. When telling your friend it should start something like "I'm not judging and I'm not sure if it's my business however I saw.... Is everything OK in your relationship?"

[m.snow]

This is absolutely true. (Aside from ethics, most ppl aren't actually competent to do those things properly and are unaware of it.) That means, if you saw this guy and a random woman at a restaurant forex, your witness report would be that you saw this guy and a random woman at a restaurant. Those are the limits of your eyewitness observations, not any superfluous conclusions like they're having an affair.

 

Ok, how about she tells her friend that friends husband was kissing someone romantically multiple times and holding hands together.

 

Of course she not saying or implying anything that the husband was having an affair.

 

She is just saying what she saw. multiple times.

[jen1447]

Ok, how about she tells her friend that friends husband was kissing someone romantically multiple times and holding hands together.

 

Of course she not saying or implying anything that the husband was having an affair.

 

She is just saying what she saw. multiple times.

 

I don't know if OP's posts are/were being moderated or what, but I only just now saw that reply to my question where she described seeing them kissing etc. So yes,, if she saw them kissing and so on, she could tell the BS she saw them kissing and so on. (Assuming she decided she wanted to get involved at all).

[crederer]

People have a tendency to shoot the messenger. I told my friend his gf was cheating. She denied it, managed to convince him that I made it up because I actually wanted to be with her, etc.

 

I was made out to be the villain. They both treated me like the utter most trash on the planet with her calling me a creep and sorts of other stuff, and other mutual friends asking me if I was trying to get with his girl. It was seriously ridiculous.

 

I heard through the grape vine he ended up catching her red handed cheating a few years later and they broke up. I chuckled to myself thinking about what sort of story she spun on that one trying to convince him she was somehow the victim in the situation.

[Clockwork]

Hello everyone. I hope I can get some advice about a dilemma I'm in. I know for a fact that my friend's husband is cheating on her. I saw him cheating on her with another woman a few times. I feel guilty that I know this and haven't told her about it. Based off of how she talks about him, it doesn't seem like she knows. But then again maybe she does but is putting on an appearance that her marriage is great. Should I tell her about her husband? I've heard how when people do tell a friend that their spouse is cheating on him/her that the friend will get mad at the friend and not their spouse. I also hear the friendship could end as well. She is a friend.....but she's not a really good friend of mine. I also have been told that since she isn't a close friend that I should just not say anything at all. I want to live an honest life as much as possible. I think that's why I feel guilty because there's a huge part of me that thinks withholding this information is similar to lying. I appreciate whatever advice or experience people have about this situation. Thank you.

 

Put yourself in the same position...........would YOU want to know? You probably would, so I would tell her if she is a friend.

[Makeleveesnotwar]

You say this woman isn't a close friend. How do you know they don't have an open relationship?

 

I'm with everyone who said tip her off anonymously. You don't know her well and telling her this could make her defensive or embarrassed. And if they do have an open marriage you just look like you're sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.

 

Find a way to message her details so that she can find out for herself. A description of the other woman, places they've met up, etc. My guess is she already has an idea, most people who are being cheated on have at least some idea, and if she was his mistress to a previous marriage she clearly knows what he's capable of.

 

Also agreed with previous posters not to say anything to the husband because he will just find a way to change his story and make you look like the bad guy.

 

Don't do nothing.

[aliveagain]

What kind of friend keeps a secret like that from a true friend? By withholding the truth from her you become their accomplice. He doesn't have much respect for his wife to disrespect her so publicly. Tell her or you are at risk of loosing her friendship when she discovers that you knew and kept their secret from her. Her health is at risk.

[Maggie4]

They are doing this out in the open! Chances are the wife already knows.

Very few cheating husbands do this in public. It is possible they are already in divorce mode.

Suppose the husband and the lover are making out all over town, it is not a secret, do you really want to go to your friend and say "why don't you do something?"

[smackie9]

Has the OP even replied since October?

[drp68]

He made his choice to cheat, she should be able to chose to stay or leave. If my friend new I would like them to tellme.