Winesar21 Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 I was with my ex bf for two years and we were highly involved in each others life and family life. We had been rocky since last spring. We have both threatened to break up multiple times. He begged me that we would always be friends. He went away on a trip and broke up with me via email when he returned and had plans that night and for the weekend. I tried calling him and he blocked my number. He said he didn't know what else to do and he cared about me. He said he knew I was unhappy as well. He does not do well with sticking up for himself to anyone. So I can kind of get why he did this. He didn't want me to be in histerics. I sent him like 90 emails saying sorry and I did greater him with bad karma for doing what he did. But later took the threats back. It's so hard to be with someone for two years and they send you one email and won't respond. I don't even know what to think anymore. I feel mind ****ed. I have been blaming myself so much. How could somebody be so cold? I'm not going to contact him anymore and I hope he will keep his promise of meeting in person. Link to post Share on other sites
Wewon Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 What he did was monumentally crappy, but don't give in to the impulse to chase him down for answers. All of this tells you more information about his character, the email, going silent, lack of responsiveness etc. Each one of those things is his way of communicating who he really is and you should take that in as you move on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 If he never verbalized himself or stuck up to anyone and then just blew you two up, then he sounds like he may be passive agressive and you will probably never know what the true pulse of the relationship is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Winesar21 Posted October 30, 2015 Author Share Posted October 30, 2015 I looked up passive aggressive and that seems to fit. I don't get how someone can just run away and not even speak to someone. Even if I hated him I would feel so guilty. I feel horrible. I wish I could just disappear. We have argued about dumb things and it just seemed like we couldn't compromise. Nothing terrible ever happened. I don't know what I did to deserve this. Link to post Share on other sites
Frogwife Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 What he did was monumentally crappy, but don't give in to the impulse to chase him down for answers. All of this tells you more information about his character, the email, going silent, lack of responsiveness etc. Each one of those things is his way of communicating who he really is and you should take that in as you move on. Winesar21 I looked up passive aggressive and that seems to fit. I don't get how someone can just run away and not even speak to someone. I always thought No Contact, blocking, etc. was revered as such a wonderful thing on sites like this... "I'm going to be strong and go 'no contact'", "I'm going respect myself and go 'no contact'... guess it's not so fantastic when it happens to you. Breakup up with someone by email is lame, but that said, if someone sent me 90 emails and "threatened me with bad karma" (as happened here), I wouldn't respond either. The problem with "no contact" advocates is they usually are not able to control and/or regulate their actions and reactions - so their only choice is to cut everything off because they can't control themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Wewon Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 I always thought No Contact, blocking, etc. was revered as such a wonderful thing on sites like this... "I'm going to be strong and go 'no contact'", "I'm going respect myself and go 'no contact'... guess it's not so fantastic when it happens to you. That's a bastardized version of no contact. Going no contact is an attempt for either person to move on with their lives and its predicated on the assumption that there was a civil breakup, not in lieu of one. otherwise what you have is one person initiating the break up, getting lonely or board and keeping their ex on a string for attention (i.e. "friends"). Breaking up via email with no actual discussion is just avoidance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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