'Do you like me?'

[SweetLikeCinnamon]

Firstly, I'm quite new to dating so this may be a stupid question.

 

I've now gone on around 5/6 dates with this guy. It's spanned over 2 months as he got really busy with a new job at the beginning of the month along with other life changes and we had clashing schedules so had trouble meeting up this month. But it seems like he's cutting down his hours from next week.

 

Anyway, as we had a couple of failed meetups recently I invited him to mine before work 2 days ago as it seemed easier, as I live near his work and he works night.

 

Towards the end he initiated cuddling. After a couple of minutes of us lying down quietly he says my name followed with 'do you like me?'. I thought it was a weird question to ask since I was the one to invited him over and had been initiating contact he last couple of weeks when he had busy. We also have been on a few dates and have kissed before. Also I'm now cuddling with him. I responded by saying 'yeah I like you' and he says 'no, you know what I mean', so I said yes I do. And he says 'Okay, because I like you.' I then asked if if he thought I didn't and he said 'It's like I was saying earlier (we had been talking about how sometimes guys don't pick up signals when a girl doesn't/does like them) I'm not good at reading things like body language'.

 

So, is it not weird for him to ask if I like him when I'm clearly showing I want to talk to him and spend time with him? Or does he mean 'do I like him?' in a more serous way? Sometimes I feel like he is quite serious about me as he has to make a decision about whether to move to a different town (50 minutes away) from the summer as his son has moved there but says he wants to stay here. Every time he sees me he asks if I'm going to stay here (I finish university in the summer which is the reason I'm in this town, and I don't know if I'm staying or not) so I feel like he's trying to base his decision on that too?

 

I also knew he liked me as he messaged me saying 'I really like you' after our second date, though I had moments of doubts when he got busy, but feel like things are moving forward now.

[PegNosePete]

It's pretty weird and a tad insecure to ask that, yes. I'd certainly never ask it.

 

In the context, and the "no, you know what I mean" question I would hazard a guess that he's hinting at wanting sex. But that would be just a guess. Best response would have been "No I don't know what you mean. What do you mean?"

 

"In a more serious way" I assume you mean love, but after 5/6 dates that is pretty unlikely. Those kind of feelings take much longer to develop.

[SweetLikeCinnamon]

I don't think he meant sex. I think he thought my response sounded like 'yeah, well I don't dislike you'.

 

And I didn't mean love but I take 'do you like me?' as 'are you attracted to me?', but maybe he meant it more 'do you have feelings for me?' It's the only thing I can think of as I don't get how he wouldn't realise I'm attracted to him.

[PegNosePete]

Well, there you go. Your understanding was different to mine. Maybe his understanding was different again.

 

That's why it's better to ask when you don't understand something rather than speculate

[Speika]

Its fairly obvious you like him and I'm sure he's not blind. I'd take it as him meaning more how serious you were about him. If you liked him in a way that meant you wanted a serious relationship. It sounds like a slightly insecure (though not in a bad way, lots of us can be insecure when it comes to emotions) way of having the relationship talk. It sounds like he likes you a lot.

[Redhead14]

Firstly, I'm quite new to dating so this may be a stupid question.

 

I've now gone on around 5/6 dates with this guy. It's spanned over 2 months as he got really busy with a new job at the beginning of the month along with other life changes and we had clashing schedules so had trouble meeting up this month. But it seems like he's cutting down his hours from next week.

 

Anyway, as we had a couple of failed meetups recently I invited him to mine before work 2 days ago as it seemed easier, as I live near his work and he works night.

 

Towards the end he initiated cuddling. After a couple of minutes of us lying down quietly he says my name followed with 'do you like me?'. I thought it was a weird question to ask since I was the one to invited him over and had been initiating contact he last couple of weeks when he had busy. We also have been on a few dates and have kissed before. Also I'm now cuddling with him. I responded by saying 'yeah I like you' and he says 'no, you know what I mean', so I said yes I do. And he says 'Okay, because I like you.' I then asked if if he thought I didn't and he said 'It's like I was saying earlier (we had been talking about how sometimes guys don't pick up signals when a girl doesn't/does like them) I'm not good at reading things like body language'.

 

So, is it not weird for him to ask if I like him when I'm clearly showing I want to talk to him and spend time with him? Or does he mean 'do I like him?' in a more serous way? Sometimes I feel like he is quite serious about me as he has to make a decision about whether to move to a different town (50 minutes away) from the summer as his son has moved there but says he wants to stay here. Every time he sees me he asks if I'm going to stay here (I finish university in the summer which is the reason I'm in this town, and I don't know if I'm staying or not) so I feel like he's trying to base his decision on that too?

 

I also knew he liked me as he messaged me saying 'I really like you' after our second date, though I had moments of doubts when he got busy, but feel like things are moving forward now.

 

Why didn't you just ask him why he asked you that question? Or, say something like "I've really been enjoying the time we're spending together and feel as though I've been pretty clear about my interest in you. I'm confused about why you're asking."

 

And, women ask themselves that question all the time "does he really like me?" even though they guy has been seeing them regularly and calling, etc.

 

I think the guy is just kinda getting to a point where he may be wanting to make things official or exclusive at least and wanting clarity. In the first couple of months, a person may really like the other person and be spending time with them and initiating things but there isn't any clarity about "where it's going". Every time he sees me he asks if I'm going to stay here -- he's concerned about getting too involved if you're going to be moving on. He just wants to know if you like him enough for him to keeping moving forward with you.

 

Did you two ever have a conversation about what you each are looking for for yourself in general out of your dating journeys? I mean are you two on the same page in terms of personal dating goals? If so, and you were on that page at least, he may want to bump it up.

 

I think the question was immature though. He should have said something like "I really like you and enjoy spending time with you and I don't want to see anyone else." And, then let you talk.

Edited October 30, 2015 by Redhead14

[ravfour4]

Hinting at sex? What the hell?

 

This is an insecure guy who is starting to really like you and wants to open up and show you how much he cares, but is afraid to because he's not sure you feel the same.

 

Do you like me? Could have been his way of sneaking to the "are we exclusive?" Convo. He wanted you to say yes with a smile on your face to reassure him that you like him. If you were at all hesitant, he is now unsure of your feelings and may distance himself in fear of getting hurt.

 

He definitely meant do you have feelings for me and not do you find me attractive.

[SweetLikeCinnamon]

Thanks for the responses guys. To add to him hinting at exclusivity, very soon before (or after) that he did ask when the last time I 'cuddled' someone was.

 

Redhead -I did express confusion to his question and his reply was just that he's not good at picking up on these things. And we haven't had any conversation about what we're looking for at all.

[ravfour4]

He likes you, wants to lock you down, but is worried he may be one of many and getting played.

 

 

If you like him, tell him how much you like him. He'll feel much more comfortable around you and the two of you could likely start "dating".

[Httm]

Why didn't you just ask him why he asked you that question? Or, say something like "I've really been enjoying the time we're spending together and feel as though I've been pretty clear about my interest in you. I'm confused about why you're asking."

 

And, women ask themselves that question all the time "does he really like me?" even though they guy has been seeing them regularly and calling, etc.

 

I think the guy is just kinda getting to a point where he may be wanting to make things official or exclusive at least and wanting clarity. In the first couple of months, a person may really like the other person and be spending time with them and initiating things but there isn't any clarity about "where it's going". Every time he sees me he asks if I'm going to stay here -- he's concerned about getting too involved if you're going to be moving on. He just wants to know if you like him enough for him to keeping moving forward with you.

 

Did you two ever have a conversation about what you each are looking for for yourself in general out of your dating journeys? I mean are you two on the same page in terms of personal dating goals? If so, and you were on that page at least, he may want to bump it up.

 

I think the question was immature though. He should have said something like "I really like you and enjoy spending time with you and I don't want to see anyone else." And, then let you talk.

 

Immature? It is immature to play games when you can simply ask. He is being honest and direct. It is the way people SHOULD be!