Author BlueDress Posted August 21, 2016 Author Share Posted August 21, 2016 People offering advice doesn't mean I have to take it. I said already that I don't care about the past. I said that I want to get back together with him. So why would I follow the advice that says the opposite of what I want to do? i don't owe the people here anything to do what they say I should. I'm allowed to vent. Nothing says I have to take the advice that doesn't apply to me. I don't understand why people ask questions to know more then complain when I tell them that they didn't want to know. Or get upset when advice I didn't ask for that is the opposite of what I've been saying isn't something I do. Then say it must be because I'm crazy or have mental problems. Or it all must be fake. If people don't want to know they can stop asking questions. If people just want to tell me to the opposite of what I'm trying to do then be rude if I don't do in my life what they said I should then they don't have to reply. This is my life here and I'm not going to do what a bunch of strangers on the internet try to bully me into doing because they think they know everything.i have been clear from the beginning what I'm hoping for here and working to do and wanting. If people don't like it then they can leave me alone about it. Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Try to be honest. Since you started this plan, do you think your relationship with your ex is better or worse? Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Where are you getting that people don't want to hear your answers? It's not that, it's that nothing is penetrating. You don't seem to understand or care how awful what you're doing is, how badly you are hurting anyone (your children included, and you can deny it all you want but your actions and attitudes are hurting them, not to mention her children with her husband, who are innocent in all this), or how insane you appear to be. Do you understand at all why people are upset about what you're doing? Is there any part of you that knows how wrong it is? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery2Me Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 (edited) Hi Blue Dress. The reason for not asking about the back story......was I thought just answering the question without addressing the its complicated would be easier for you. I am not being rude...rather wondering if the boyfriend like you is experiencing similar issues. For example what is the day of the week? So again is your boyfriend married, a betrayed spouse or divorced? Edited August 21, 2016 by Mystery2Me Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueDress Posted August 21, 2016 Author Share Posted August 21, 2016 I already answered about the guy I'm seeing. You aren't going to get a different answer the more you ask the question. My relationship with my husband was bad when he left. It got better. When she got sick it got better but he got scared. It got worse after he knew I was seeing somebody. Now it's not great but it's not bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery2Me Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 (edited) Hi Blue Dress thank you for your reply. The reason for this line of questions is because (completely understanding your goal with ex-husband) wouldn't it be nice if you are going to have a boyfriend that it is a relationship that is not complicated. It appears at best you have a "part-time" boyfriend and he is involved with someone perhaps a wife. If this is true then again you are trying to borrow someone's husband/boyfriend/man. Just like you are trying to borrow your ex-husband from his current wife. So now you are possibly now a cheater like your ex-husband. Edited August 21, 2016 by Mystery2Me Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueDress Posted August 21, 2016 Author Share Posted August 21, 2016 What is wrong with you? I didn't say he has a wife or a girlfriend. I didn't say anything that meant he did. I'm not cheating with somebodys boyfriend or husband and I wouldn't ever do that. I don't get why you're making up these lies. I only love one person and that's my husband. I didn't cheat on him and I'm not a homewrecker. I wouldn't do anything like that. Ive never cheated on anything in my life, not even a test. If you have got nothing to say to me except filthy lies and rudeness then you can just skip my posts from now on. You don't have any idea what you're talking about and you're just being hateful. You don't know a thing about me. You're rude and you don't even know what you're talking about. This is why I don't need advice from people who want to tell me what to do but don't know me. I've been called crazy on my own thread and now being accused of being a homewrecker when I never said anything that would make somebody think I was. There's only one homewrecker here and that's my husband's mistress who stole him from his marriage. Not me. Saying I must be is stupid and disgusting. Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery2Me Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 (edited) Hi Blue Dress. Nothing is wrong with me....it is your partial telling of the facts that leads me down the wrong path. Never did I call you stupid or crazy, so that is not on me. Blue dress it appears you resort to the victim position when confronted with reality in anyway in an effort to deflect the truth. The issue is you have so many inconsistent facts in your story that is difficult to tell which way is up. For instance you say you are spiritually married but you have a "boyfriend". So by your own account you are still married....but you have a boyfriend???? So isn't that cheating? Again your words not mine. The boyfriend care for you but at the same time he is supportive of your goal of reuniting with ex-husband. People are just trying to clarify what is going on. The only thing you have made clear is your singleminded goal in living your life in the hopes of your ex-husband leaving his current wife and coming back to you. My apologies...but the question was just simple one of if your boyfriend is married. Not a long drawnout story of the complications. Edited August 21, 2016 by Mystery2Me Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueDress Posted August 21, 2016 Author Share Posted August 21, 2016 You're not trying to clarify anything. I answered your questions several times and then you accused me of being another woman and I'm not. I didn't say we were spiritually married either that's what my mom thinks. You just ask the same question over and over to try and get a different answer. You want information and then say you're confused and you don't want information just yes and no. You are drawing crazy conclusions from things I never said like I'm a cheater and my boyfriend is married. I didn't say. You get confused when I don't answer just yes or no to your questions so you keep asking them over and over again. The answer doesn't change. I never said he was married or dating somebody else. He's not. I'm not a homewrecker. You were wrong and I don't know why you'd say that. Or not apologize for saying it. I just said he doesn't want to get married and I don't either. He knows I want to end up with my husband again and since he doesn't want to be married or with me forever and I don't want to be with him it's not a problem. I said he sees what they put me through and sticks up for me. Things aren't complicated because he has a wife. It's because things changed when he started sticking up for me and getting involved. Everybody here thinks they have all the answers. I have a guy I see which is what people said I should do but then I get one and I'm cheating and he's married. I don't even get it. Now I want to be a victim too? I didn't ask you to call me a homewrecker because you didn't understand the answer because I didn't say yes or no only. You didn't tell me any truths. You invented a lie and called me names. I'm not allowed to tell you you're wrong? I didn't lead you down any wrong path. You are just trying to invent problems that aren't real. You say my partial facts confuse you but then only one yes or no answers. You don't want the whole story. You just want to point fingers and pretend like you know my life and you don't. If you are just going to keep accusing me of things and not apologizing but saying it's my fault you are rude to me then I have nothing at all left to say to you. Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Do you think it's at all strange that no one believes you have a shot at reconciliation? If there was any way in the world you two could possibly be together again, people would be offering advice for how to make that happen. But they aren't. Here is what I (and just about everyone else in this thread) have seen: your ex-husband no longer loves you, he does not want to be with you, he has no desire to be with you again, he does not want to talk to you, he doesn't want you in his home. He doesn't even like you. Meanwhile the completely impartial observers---the various judges you've seen in your case---have all sided with the wife and even praised her, while telling you to stay away. Can you accept there's a difference between what you see and what everyone else sees? People aren't saying "leave him alone, you have no chance" because they want to hurt your feelings. They're saying it because they believe it's true. Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery2Me Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Hi Bluedress. Absolutely 100% I agree with you....FINALLY you answered the direct question that "NO" boyfriend is not married. Again your avoidance of straight forward questions leads to diverted paths of thought. Point of fact you said "I already answered about he guy I'm seeing. You aren't going to get a different answer the more you ask the question" Readily you accept your Mother's view of spiritual marriage so you may say the ex-husband IS your husband...and his current wife is "Mistress" Where is Mom's view point about a divorced spiritually wife having a boyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Have you found a job yet? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maddieandtae Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 (edited) Blue it's just so sad you are still in the same thought process about your ex-husband:( I think he looks sad because he will be dealing with your remarks in some capacity for a very long time and he knows that you will never let him go...unless at some point a restraining order is obtained:( When you visit him at work does he talk to you and does he encourage your visits? Edited August 22, 2016 by Maddieandtae ... Link to post Share on other sites
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