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Emotional affair or Physical affair.. Which do you think is worse?

MsHopeful0208201689

By MsHopeful0208201689
in The Other Man / Woman

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MsHopeful0208201689 Established Member

MsHopeful0208201689

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Personally, I feel an emotional affair is far worse.. When it's an affair of the heart it doesn't seem like it's as easy to shake off verses if it were purely physical.. Neither is honorable or noble but physical is the lesser of the two evils..

 

What do you think?

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sidney2718 Established Member

sidney2718

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Personally, I feel an emotional affair is far worse.. When it's an affair of the heart it doesn't seem like it's as easy to shake off verses if it were purely physical.. Neither is honorable or noble but physical is the lesser of the two evils..

 

What do you think?

 

At first it seems as if emotional is worse, since there are physical affairs that involve no real emotional attachment at all.

 

But there are emotional affairs where many intimate things are said, much discussion of everyday life takes place, but it is more like talking to a sister or brother than it is romantic.

 

So my answer is: it depends.

 

Now wasn't that helpful?

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MsHopeful0208201689 Established Member

MsHopeful0208201689

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At first it seems as if emotional is worse, since there are physical affairs that involve no real emotional attachment at all.

 

But there are emotional affairs where many intimate things are said, much discussion of everyday life takes place, but it is more like talking to a sister or brother than it is romantic.

 

So my answer is: it depends.

 

Now wasn't that helpful?

 

What you described would be more of a friendship than an emotional affair, in my opinion.

Poppy47 Established Member

Poppy47

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Then there are affairs that a re physical and emotional.... the very worst kind.

 

Poppy.

xxx

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OneLov Established Member

OneLov

Posted
Posted
Personally, I feel an emotional affair is far worse.. When it's an affair of the heart it doesn't seem like it's as easy to shake off verses if it were purely physical.. Neither is honorable or noble but physical is the lesser of the two evils..

 

What do you think?

 

Interesting question. There is research on the subject, and the findings indicate the answer depends on your sex. In general, men often believe a purely physical affair is worse, and women cite emotional affairs as more harmful to the primary relationship. Men more often blame their wayward partner and the affair partner and are less likely to reconcile. Women more often blame the affair partner and themselves and are more likely to reconcile with their wayward partners.

 

I am a male, but I believe emotional infidelity would be harder for me to forgive if I were a BS/BP. But the majority of affairs are both physical and emotional, so it is really tough to say a pure physical affair is worse than a purely emotional one. I think the temporal element would be the biggest factor I would use to decide if I were be willing to reconcile. I could understand being, "caught up in the moment." But I also understand moments do not last +6 months. Too many willful and deliberate acts to accept the person did not fully appreciate the impact of his/her actions.

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OldRover Established Member

OldRover

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I'd lean on emotional being worse (if worse is what you describe the significance or magnitude of the relationship.... worse implies that it's bad, and some don't look at it this way).

 

And, physical can easily be forgotten, emotional takes longer. And emotion that goes physical goes off the scale and escalates into a significant magnitude.

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RecentChange Established Member

RecentChange

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Yeah I lean toward emotional being worse... Well EA + PA being more hurtful.

 

Both my partner and I have has brief affairs, I discovered his, mine, at the moment at least still is a secret....

 

He met some girl on a business trip, they hooked up - but what STUNG was all the "I miss you" messages, the lies that he was single (but living with his "ex"!) - the emotional attachment and betrayal.

 

I am someone that doesn't get emotionally tied to sex, so if he had just F'ed her while on a trip... I think I would have had an easier time with that.

 

Now, if mine ever comes out - he might feel differently regarding what was worse!

 

But mine was just sex, I didn't develop feelings for the guy, and def. didn't profess any... And I didn't say I was single, or that my guy was bad, or deserving of cheating in anyway. I just wasn't getting much attention at home and selfishly went for it when the opportunity arose.

ShatteredLady Established Member

ShatteredLady

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I'm a BS. I find the emotional devastating. Just beyond words! Seeing the words "I love you" made me physically sick.

 

I've said before my H got a 'Buy 2' deal on mothers day flowers (yep! Mine were the smaller cheaper ones) Hers had a card that said "To the BEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD. LOVE H". One silly little sentence but I can't get it out of my head!

 

When the one person you trust with your heart & deepest, darkest secrets repeats & criticizes your life to another person...ugh!!!! Just horrible!!

 

I'm actually relieved a little by this thread. I've been very, very upset by members on this forum belittling EA's. It really messed with my head. One even compared an EA to the WS reading a romance novel!! I've read jokes...'let the EA 'rev-up' your wife & enjoy the extra attention you get in the bedroom!' type comments. Ugh! I'm not crazy!! (Well maybe I am but at least I'm not delusional about the emotional carnage of EA's!!)

 

When your life is shattering around you & you haven't slept or ate for days. When you're shaking, sweating, vomiting, reliving all of those "words" they're anything but "Just Words"!!! :sick:

 

A drunken shag doesn't come close to the love of your life swooning over the OW every single day. It might be "Just a fantasy" to some but it's been a living nightmare for me. I've known both. EA by far the worst.

  • Like 3
ShatteredLady Established Member

ShatteredLady

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Quote - "Men more often blame their wayward partner and the affair partner and are less likely to reconcile. Women more often blame the affair partner and THEMSELVES and are more likely to reconcile with their wayward partners."

 

Very interesting! Years ago I had the opportunity to spend a day at Broadmoor (the maximum security prison for the criminally insane in England). I was allowed to walk around the women's highest security sections (with escorts) but only the 'safest' 2 levels of the men's. When I asked why they explained...men are far more of a danger to others whilst women are more of a danger to themselves.

Giggle Established Member

Giggle

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Worse? As in harder to let go or harder to take and forgive? Cause for me I can easier forgive the emotional. You don't mean to fall in love however dumb some of the choices leading up to it were. Physical is very much a choice to take off your clothes.

 

But the feelings.. I was completely grossed out by sharing his dick. I wanted to puke. Idk. Knowing he wanted her, loved her was sad. But that made it easier to be done, because of his love for her. I didn't want him pining for her and staying for me.

 

Emotional is very hard to let go of though. The attachment. Ugh.

Charlie Harper Established Member

Charlie Harper

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Both of them are freaking CANCER to a relationship, only th details or attachments make it worse...

 

Kid not yourselves, there is no "lesser of two evils here" CHEATING IS CHEATING.

OldRover Established Member

OldRover

Posted
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Both of them are freaking CANCER to a relationship, only th details or attachments make it worse...

 

Kid not yourselves, there is no "lesser of two evils here" CHEATING IS CHEATING.

 

True and often there was other cancer in the relationship before.

goodyblue Established Member

goodyblue

Posted
Posted
True and often there was other cancer in the relationship before.

 

Yes, this.

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