Savannah2 Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 He was out of town with some friends at a concert without his wife. He told me he FB messaged a girl he used to work with to see if she was at the concert because she lived there and was into that music.That was all. Nothing menacing. His wife went through his fb messages and saw the conversation was deleted. He said that he didn't know how it was deleted. Ummmmm.... fB messenger conversations don't delete themselves folks. So he lied. Shocking. As if he doesn't have enough trouble trying to keep me a secret, he goes and messages someone else even though he says it was harmless. He still really had no reason to contact her and knew it would probably raise suspicions. But he did it anyway. Panicked and deleted it. Then lied about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Minnie09 Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 What do you think happened? And why did he bring it up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Savannah2 Posted October 31, 2015 Author Share Posted October 31, 2015 I think he told me because he was afraid I would find out from someone else about that his wife told. We have a similar circle of friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Savannah2 Posted October 31, 2015 Author Share Posted October 31, 2015 (edited) I have finally after almost four years realized he is a serial cheater with very poor boundaries and there is nothing special about me other than the fact that I allowed myself to be his side piece for almost four years while he stay married and never denied his love for his wife. I think I'm going to need some serious therapy now that the weight of this all is settling on me. I feel like he's the type of guy that just always needs that "fix" or "high" of pushing boundaries with a new woman. Whether it is for how ego stroke to see if he can reel one in or he just likes the attention and the high if someone new he can pursue Edited October 31, 2015 by Savannah2 Added Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 So it may be that he has more than one OW. Has this new realization caused you to think of ending it with him for good? Things will only change when you decide to change them for your best interest. I hope you will. Link to post Share on other sites
Lovetoohard Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Of course he lied to you. He's a pro at it. You don't deserve to spend precious moments of your life trying to figure out his lies. Trust is the most important thing in a healthy relationship. I would often find myself analyzing little contradictions or omissions with my ex MM and it always bothered me when I questioned him and he made me feel like I misheard or misunderstood or whatever. A lot of times it was small things - like he said he was going home after a friend's baby shower but he actually went out, supposedly with his guy buddy later that night and he got busted while telling me about a new bar that had over charged him and his buddy for drinks that same night of the baby shower. It was a small omission but the fact he did it leads me to believe he had more to hide. In any case, not healthy. The bottom line is, he will not change. It's all him and his messed up brain, not you. You weren't special just like I wasn't. And you deserve to be special. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Faust Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 So, wait... He told his wife AND you that he doesn't know how it got deleted? So he is gaslighting his wife and his mistress? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 I have finally after almost four years realized he is a serial cheater with very poor boundaries and there is nothing special about me other than the fact that I allowed myself to be his side piece for almost four years while he stay married and never denied his love for his wife. I think I'm going to need some serious therapy now that the weight of this all is settling on me. I feel like he's the type of guy that just always needs that "fix" or "high" of pushing boundaries with a new woman. Whether it is for how ego stroke to see if he can reel one in or he just likes the attention and the high if someone new he can pursue The way I see it is: There's nothing special about him. Link to post Share on other sites
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