What do women want you to write to them?

[impatiently_patient]

Nothing wrong with video games (or trucks) It just shouldn't be your prime identity.

 

Feel free not to listen I'm sure rejecting advice from women is helping your success on OLD.

 

Well, it's stuff I'm already doing so it's kind of non-advice. I'm not a flatbiller (I suspect those guys do way better than me to boot), or hardcore gamer, so yeah... that was the point I was trying to make.

Edited November 9, 2015 by impatiently_patient

[JuneJulySeptember]

Well, it's stuff I'm already doing so it's kind of non-advice. I'm not a flatbiller (I suspect those guys do way better than me to boot), or hardcore gamer, so yeah... that was the point I was trying to make.

 

You said you're 38 years old, so I assume you're looking for somebody serious.

 

I don't think you want to go out with a woman who will force you to cut off your hair and beard and make you quit playing video games. That is part of you, and at this point you are looking for the most compatible gal ... I assume.

 

I mean all of the advice to fit the mold of what women want? I say go ahead and try it, if just to do it. I did it, and took advice and had my profile written by one of the biggest "winners on OLD" on this forum. So, now they can't say none of us listen.

 

I'll also mention something else. A lot of women on OLD just don't really seem that serious about it. A couple of months ago, something quite miraculous happened. A woman winked at me on Match.com. I sent her a message and she replied. A couple more, with short responses, and she said she was busy, but she'd get back to me. She never did, and now she's gone and her profile hidden. And I've gotten a response from at least 2 other women who just completely disappear.

 

Now, I would never do that to anybody, but it appears par for the course in OLD. You really cannot take it that seriously I'm finding more and more.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I'll also mention something else. A lot of women on OLD just don't really seem that serious about it.

 

I can concur as I know a woman in real life that doesn't take it seriously. I met her through Meetup, but 3 years prior to having met her at Meetup, she was on OK Cupid....she STILL is on the dating site by the way...still active.

 

Anyhow, I mentioned how I saw her online dating profile and realized I had contacted years prior to having met in life, but of course she never responded.

 

Turns out, for those years she's been on the site, she's never met ONE man face to face? Apparently, she signed up for the dating site because she would visit her father every other weekend in a rather rural area..so she was "bored" and signed on to it.

 

She was simply that...bored...nothing more. She got a lot of emails, but hardly interacted with anyone. She said she lost sleep over a guy getting upset for not telling him her first name lol. and I was thinking, "Um, isn't that how dating suppose to work?" "Hi, my name is Ted, and you are?" That's how it all starts.

 

Anyhow, point being is, even though I see her active almost daily on the site, she has no intention of actually meeting anyone. She's just, like most people, browsing around out of sheer boredom.

 

By the way, she's rather wishy-washy individual and quite reclusive in nature. I was only able to snag her in person because she tagged along at the last minute with a friend to a group. Sadly she has no friends....that's a shocker, considering she's a very attractive woman.

Edited November 10, 2015 by LookAtThisPOst

[JuneJulySeptember]

I can concur as I know a woman in real life that doesn't take it seriously. I met her through Meetup, but 3 years prior to having met her at Meetup, she was on OK Cupid....she STILL is on the dating site by the way...still active.

 

Anyhow, I mentioned how I saw her online dating profile and realized I had contacted years prior to having met in life, but of course she never responded.

 

Turns out, for those years she's been on the site, she's never met ONE man face to face? Apparently, she signed up for the dating site because she would visit her father every other weekend in a rather rural area..so she was "bored" and signed on to it.

 

She was simply that...bored...nothing more. She got a lot of emails, but hardly interacted with anyone. She said she lost sleep over a guy getting upset for not telling him her first name lol. and I was thinking, "Um, isn't that how dating suppose to work?" "Hi, my name is Ted, and you are?" That's how it all starts.

 

Anyhow, point being is, even though I see her active almost daily on the site, she has no intention of actually meeting anyone. She's just, like most people, browsing around out of sheer boredom.

 

By the way, she's rather wishy-washy individual and quite reclusive in nature. I was only able to snag her in person because she tagged along at the last minute with a friend to a group. Sadly she has no friends....that's a shocker, considering she's a very attractive woman.

 

Even women who do want to date, they will send a message and then completely disappear and not keep contact.

 

I really can't say how many messages they get from other men, but every woman who responds to my message I'm fairly excited about, even if they are not really cute.

 

It's an opportunity for something bigger. To meet somebody who could add something big to your life. Even a possible friend.

[impatiently_patient]

You said you're 38 years old, so I assume you're looking for somebody serious.

I don't think you want to go out with a woman who will force you to cut off your hair and beard and make you quit playing video games. That is part of you, and at this point you are looking for the most compatible gal ... I assume.

For sure... I've been around the proverbial block, and am pretty certain of what works for me and what doesn't. In fact, my kind of woman isn't the one who fritters around indecisively. My last girlfriend was from Plenty Of Fish and she cut to the chase about grabbing some dinner. That's typically what my magnet pulls. No long chain of private messages, no conversation static. Pizza and wings. Maybe some guys like wishy-washy women, but while I prefer mine to be easy going and on the side of B-type personalities, ambivalence isn't an attractive trait... and it smells of social ineptitude. I just have no idea how to ferret out the motivated and engaging type of women that I mesh with.

 

 

 

 

 

I mean all of the advice to fit the mold of what women want? I say go ahead and try it, if just to do it. I did it, and took advice and had my profile written by one of the biggest "winners on OLD" on this forum. So, now they can't say none of us listen.

I followed quite a bit of it, but really is there really THAT much unilateral mentality about what's appreciable about a man that some universal advice is going to net us rejects any success? People love to be told that they're a hivemind that does everything their gender, race, age, whathaveyou does. I mean if I have to fit the median American male mold to be worthy of any interest, then I might as well pack it in. I'm done. Edited November 11, 2015 by impatiently_patient

[gaius]

That first paragraph you wrote in your last post sounds almost exactly what I hear a lot of women complaining about. That the guy fritters around, doesn't ask them out, etc etc. If you're looking for a woman to take charge in that regard you're probably going to continue being single as a small minority at best are looking to play that role.

 

If you can adapt yourself into being a more take charge personality, and enjoy it, I'm guessing you'd do a lot better.

[JuneJulySeptember]

For sure... I've been around the proverbial block, and am pretty certain of what works for me and what doesn't. In fact, my kind of woman isn't the one who fritters around indecisively. My last girlfriend was from Plenty Of Fish and she cut to the chase about grabbing some dinner. That's typically what my magnet pulls. No long chain of private messages, no conversation static. Pizza and wings. Maybe some guys like wishy-washy women, but while I prefer mine to be easy going and on the side of B-type personalities, ambivalence isn't an attractive trait... and it smells of social ineptitude. I just have no idea how to ferret out the motivated and engaging type of women that I mesh with.

 

Well, if you found your last GF from OLD, then what are you complaining about?

 

Why are you writing all of this shluck about getting no messages and having d@uches here respond that if you only listened to their dating advice you'd get dates?

[LookAtThisPOst]

Usually, if they even do respond. They do not engage. They just answer questions, but don't ask anything back.

 

Me: "So how long have you been single and living in this area? What kind of work do you do?

 

Her: "Single 3, living here 4. Finance"

 

That's it, she didn't even add and "And you?" at the end of that sentence.

 

That the guy fritters around, doesn't ask them out, etc etc.

 

I don't fritter, actually, when I do ask them out...that's when they choose to ghost. lol. Watch someone say, "You probably ask ed them out TOO soon." LOL (Always an argument for everything.)

[gaius]

Well you're a different case irc , you might be getting the same results for two different reasons. In this situation I'm guessing what I said is the problem.

 

It's not really up to the woman to get all your cultural references, as the man it's up to you to tailor your conversation into something she finds interesting. At the end of the day we're still animals and the guy has to do a little mating dance to turn the woman on. If you want to date in a context outside normal gender roles that's fine but keep in mind your options are going to be limited. So don't get angry about it if that's the choice you want to make.

[impatiently_patient]

That first paragraph you wrote in your last post sounds almost exactly what I hear a lot of women complaining about. That the guy fritters around, doesn't ask them out, etc etc. If you're looking for a woman to take charge in that regard you're probably going to continue being single as a small minority at best are looking to play that role.

 

If you can adapt yourself into being a more take charge personality, and enjoy it, I'm guessing you'd do a lot better.

 

I didn't say I couldn't ask anybody out. Not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about no responses (99% of the issue), non-engaging replies, and dead ending convos. Just the same, overly passive women are boring and unattractive to me. I guess I'll die alone according to your logic.

[impatiently_patient]

I don't fritter, actually, when I do ask them out...that's when they choose to ghost. lol. Watch someone say, "You probably ask ed them out TOO soon." LOL (Always an argument for everything.)

 

E-X-A-C-T-L-Y

 

I'm glad somebody else gets this ****.

[impatiently_patient]

Well you're a different case irc , you might be getting the same results for two different reasons. In this situation I'm guessing what I said is the problem.

 

It's not really up to the woman to get all your cultural references, as the man it's up to you to tailor your conversation into something she finds interesting. At the end of the day we're still animals and the guy has to do a little mating dance to turn the woman on. If you want to date in a context outside normal gender roles that's fine but keep in mind your options are going to be limited. So don't get angry about it if that's the choice you want to make.

 

And it's the woman's job to flirt back to show some semblance of actual interest so as a guy I don't feel like I'm wasting my time "annoying" some girl waiting for the right guy who is "so not me"... and online dating is almost completely wasting time on women who aren't interested, so the mindset is already more than a bit frustrated.

Edited November 11, 2015 by impatiently_patient

[JuneJulySeptember]

E-X-A-C-T-L-Y

 

I'm glad somebody else gets this ****.

 

And it's the woman's job to flirt back to show some semblance of actual interest so as a guy I don't feel like I'm wasting my time "annoying" some girl waiting for the right guy is "so not me"... and online dating is almost completely wasting time on women who aren't interested, so the mindset is already more than a bit frustrated.

 

After 1 year of OLD, I totally understand too.

 

Just to be perfectly honest with you, I message women who would be towards the end of the looks and desirability spectrum and the lower you go lookswise, the more chance you have of getting a response. I message women who have terrible pics, are obese, no college degree, make less than $25,000, seem to have some kind of a facial deformity, cross eyed, etc.

 

It's OK for me because I really don't care about that. I care about what's inside and if that was there, then it's OK for me. Well, most all of those women blow me off or give short, one or two word responses and then I never hear from them again when I respond. I get a few responses but none are ever excited or write back with depth or initiative.

 

Ya know, just to give you an idea.

 

If I had messaged my three ex-girlfriends on Match.com, I'd have no prayer of getting a response. That's a very honest statement.

Edited November 11, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember