Author sleeplessincali Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 He is a screenwriter/ investigative journalist "part time" and is what he went to school for, but his job is in live production and he flys all over. Goodish night for me.
Author sleeplessincali Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 Looking into 180 and will be implementing much of this for my own well being.
flowergirl14 Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 Where did he meet "ex" porn star/stripper? This might shed some insight into where he was at in his free time. Also remember dont believe what cheaters say believe what they do. Trust your gut and verify! cheater lie...deny..minimize..and gaslight!
Author sleeplessincali Posted November 4, 2015 Author Posted November 4, 2015 He is not minimizing or blaming me. He seems to be repentant and remourseful. I will gage his change through his actions. Through his "fruit" I am struggling with what appears to be many symptoms of PTSD. When does this part get better? That is all I'm focusing on right now, just immediate survival. Kids don't seem to be effected at all at this point.
ladydesigner Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 He is not minimizing or blaming me. He seems to be repentant and remourseful. I will gage his change through his actions. Through his "fruit" I am struggling with what appears to be many symptoms of PTSD. When does this part get better? That is all I'm focusing on right now, just immediate survival. Kids don't seem to be effected at all at this point. I had to get into therapy and on medication for my PTSD and I still struggle with it through triggers. My PTSD is compounded by my past from sexual abuse in my childhood as well. Best of luck to you I know how hard this is. Big hugs to you today!
dreamingoftigers Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 He is not minimizing or blaming me. He seems to be repentant and remourseful. I will gage his change through his actions. Through his "fruit" I am struggling with what appears to be many symptoms of PTSD. When does this part get better? That is all I'm focusing on right now, just immediate survival. Kids don't seem to be effected at all at this point. I found it took about five years. Most seem quicker. I also had some EMDR therapy. Very helpful. 2
Author sleeplessincali Posted November 4, 2015 Author Posted November 4, 2015 I had anticipated the mental part of it all. Inability to concentrate, emotional stuff ect. , but it's the physical reactions that I'm really struggling with. Sleeplessness, agitation, vomiting, shivers,clammy cold sweats. I feel like I've been run over my a truck. I'm hoping it gets better, it's only been 4 days. I'm not sure if I should rest, or try and push through it and distract my self. WS is gone for now. He is with his parents (I overheard the phone call where he told his dad and asked to come over for a little while. He will be going to the family church and pastor for council in and church services while he is there. He truly seems like he's trying to figure it out. So far he seems to be owning up to his issues and thanked me for helping him realize that his soul was in danger. He told me even if I choose to leave and terminate the marriage he will continue on the straight and narrow. The place he should have been all along. Someone asked about how he met the girl and what happened....I think I'm going to leave out that info as I'm pretty confident I have the answers that I need for right this minute. I'm kind of likening it to the William Miller/ Cameron Crowe character in Almost Famous. Thanks for the info on PTSD, I'm really hoping it does not take 5 years. I'm useless to everyone. What I'm also concerned with are the emotional and self worth reprocutions. I'm not only not trusting him, but I'm also not trusting my self. He is not blaming me at all, but I'm blaming my self for not seeing our marriage in turmoil before this happened. I thought it was a slight blip.....not earth shattering....just ebb and flow. Anyway. Thank you all for your comments so far. I know people here have suffered a lot of pain and have great experience and wisdom to share. I would encourage you all not to be so hateful and assuming with comments. Sometimes it's hard to determine a particular case via forum and I want to scream running from some of what I see here.....but I also need a bit of perspective as well. So anyway....
ladydesigner Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 I had anticipated the mental part of it all. Inability to concentrate, emotional stuff ect. , but it's the physical reactions that I'm really struggling with. Sleeplessness, agitation, vomiting, shivers,clammy cold sweats. I feel like I've been run over my a truck. I'm hoping it gets better, it's only been 4 days. I'm not sure if I should rest, or try and push through it and distract my self. WS is gone for now. He is with his parents (I overheard the phone call where he told his dad and asked to come over for a little while. He will be going to the family church and pastor for council in and church services while he is there. He truly seems like he's trying to figure it out. So far he seems to be owning up to his issues and thanked me for helping him realize that his soul was in danger. He told me even if I choose to leave and terminate the marriage he will continue on the straight and narrow. The place he should have been all along. Someone asked about how he met the girl and what happened....I think I'm going to leave out that info as I'm pretty confident I have the answers that I need for right this minute. I'm kind of likening it to the William Miller/ Cameron Crowe character in Almost Famous. Thanks for the info on PTSD, I'm really hoping it does not take 5 years. I'm useless to everyone. What I'm also concerned with are the emotional and self worth reprocutions. I'm not only not trusting him, but I'm also not trusting my self. He is not blaming me at all, but I'm blaming my self for not seeing our marriage in turmoil before this happened. I thought it was a slight blip.....not earth shattering....just ebb and flow. Anyway. Thank you all for your comments so far. I know people here have suffered a lot of pain and have great experience and wisdom to share. I would encourage you all not to be so hateful and assuming with comments. Sometimes it's hard to determine a particular case via forum and I want to scream running from some of what I see here.....but I also need a bit of perspective as well. So anyway.... You cannot blame yourself for that, although I did it too in the beginning. How can you blame yourself for something you say you couldn't see? Also you were both in the same M and only one took the initiative to stray. Take your time, don't rush R, this is a long and arduous process and you are only 4 days from Dday. I would give yourself up to 6 months to make any kind of decision. Have you contemplated counseling at all either IC or MC? They can help a lot with processing all these wacky emotions.
Author sleeplessincali Posted November 5, 2015 Author Posted November 5, 2015 WS is going to this coming week. I have not made any immediate plans, just want to get over the shock of it first.
ladydesigner Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 WS is going to this coming week. I have not made any immediate plans, just want to get over the shock of it first. That's great! Yes it takes a while for the shock to wear off. Sometimes anger comes right after that. Be aware you will probably experience the 5 stages of grief and it is normal. Make sure you remember to eat and drink no matter what, I can remember going days without eating and crying all day. Take care of yourself and be gentle to yourself. In no way were YOU ever to blame for the A no matter how bad the M was.
Author sleeplessincali Posted November 5, 2015 Author Posted November 5, 2015 :crys: thank you so much for that. I've been able to eat a bit more today, so that is a little better. Ultimately
Recommended Posts