Good Seed Posted May 24, 2005 Share Posted May 24, 2005 My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me. There was about 3 weeks of fighting arguing after the break up. She ended up crying back to me but I didnt take her back because I wanted to see if she was really serious or just a fluke. Few hours after putting on the fiasco she decided to change her number, block me from im and completely disapear from my life. It has been approximately over 2 weeks now and I am wondering what the hell is wrong with her. She broke it off with me and started NC. Since that day, I have not tried to contact her, I wrote her a nice letter telling her how I felt and that we should work things out. This letter was sent out to her same day she changed her number etc. Haven't heard a response or seen her since then. What could be going through her head? Sounds to me that she is just avoiding the topic and wanting to move on? I really think this was "the one" but it scares me that she was so phsycho to do something like this. Do you think that she just wants to move on and forget about our love? Maybe she needs to go out there and venture out and realize that I was the one? I dont even know if I am willing to give her a second chance, although love makes us do some crazzy things. Any opinions/comments are greatly appreciated. GS Link to post Share on other sites
bstill Posted May 24, 2005 Share Posted May 24, 2005 Maybe she felt a little ashamed for crawling back to you. Did you give her any real reason for not taking her back? If she came back and you were unkind to her when she did so, she is probably deeply wounded. Whatwere her reasons for leaving? Do you have a way of knowing if she received the letter you wrote her? "It has been approximately over 2 weeks now and I am wondering what the hell is wrong with her. She broke it off with me and started NC. " There may be nothing wrong with her. There may be many things wrong with her. I would suggest really examining anything you might have done/not done to contribute to the ending of the relationship. Focus on yourself for now, and think long and hard about why she left, why she doesn't seem intersetd in talking to you, and what you would like to do differently in furture relationships. IF she wants to talk, she will talk to you. What you do between now and then (if she ever wants to talk) will make it more likely successful, and if it doesn't work, you will be in a better position to move on gracefully. I'm interested in your situation because the girl who left has decided to enforce a silence. THat happned to me, too, and it is fairly rare, from what I have seen and heard about breakups. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Good Seed Posted May 24, 2005 Author Share Posted May 24, 2005 I appreciate your feedback bstill. Yes I was cold to her but then again I did tell her that we were going to things out slowly. I was very hurt by the breakup and wasn't ready to just grab her in my arms after she came crying back to me. I dont know if she recieved the letter 100% but I am not going to go crazzy thinking about it because I did send it to two of her email addresses. It is very rare for someone to break it off and go into nc judging from what I have read on ls. I did however find out that she did cheat on me multiple times during our relationship. I confronted her about it, and ofcourse she denied my accusations. I trusted this girl and never questioned her but when we broke up her old friends started coming forward and telling me things that she has done etc. It was emotionally draining but I was willing to ignore everything and start fresh. I am talking to several other females but love is love and nothing can replace that. She is a bit young (22) so maybe that has a lot to do with immaturity or maybe another guy etc. I wish she would just act civil and communicate. I guess we are both doing NC at this point although she initiated it. Very curious on what the outcome is going to be, if there is going to be any further outcome. GS Link to post Share on other sites
bstill Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 Well, I don't think your behavior has caused any of this. It sounds like you wre reasonable i ndealing with her, and you've sent what I assume to be kind email expressing how you feel. " trusted this girl and never questioned her but when we broke up her old friends started coming forward and telling me things that she has done etc. " How reliably do you know that she was unfaithful? What was the circumstance of your breakup? Can you give some details on your relationship and split? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Good Seed Posted May 25, 2005 Author Share Posted May 25, 2005 Well the sources were pretty reliable. I been hearing similar stories from people that didnt even know each other etc. about her hooking up. I wanted to trust her and believe her but what is a guy supposed to do if a girl breaks up with him and doesn't really give him a certain reason. She broke up with me over my voice mail which makes it even more harder. I think that she might have had a fling on the side but it didnt work out and kinda bit her in the ass. I was willing to work things out and change our relationship in the right direction but she just completely cut me off without warning. Maybe she just felt guilty about what she has done, god knows. Do you think she just needs time to realize what has happened or she just wants to forget and move on? Personally I think that she just wants me out of her life and the easiest way to do it is to start NC. I know that she has had some screwed up relationships in the past but I didnt care about the past with her, I only wanted a good future. GS Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyandnonexistant Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 godseed, i had a ex girlfriend break up with me over voicemail. and hell that is the lowest and most immature thing i think ive ever heard of or have witnissed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Good Seed Posted May 25, 2005 Author Share Posted May 25, 2005 lonely, Funny part is she tried to deny the breakup the next day etc. The point is, she is the one that cut off all contact and broke up with me. I have maintained NC from my end as well. Why do relationships have to be so hard lol.... Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyandnonexistant Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 relationships were never meant to be easy. in order for a relationship to work you both have to make it work. And thats where you can tell that you really like and love the person by seeing how much effort and work they put into making the relationship work. It can make you understand and realize how much they really care. Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyandnonexistant Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 you know what i mean? in a relationship i have found out you can't take your partner for granted. you have to try to make them happy the best you can. do things that make them happy and once your partner seems very happy and you feel satisfied you can't stop there. i figured this out about women. they are like cars, but in order for them to keep running you must keep them maintenanced. A women feels like she needs attention alot of attention so give to them as long as it makes them happy. you can never quit once there happy because then they miss the old times in the relationship and dwell on how things have changed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Good Seed Posted May 25, 2005 Author Share Posted May 25, 2005 Well in my case she totally blocked me off. So you are saying I should go and chase after her although she dumped me, changed her number and blocked me from IM? I think if anything she should come back into my life is she really loves me and wants to be with me.... GS Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyandnonexistant Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 no no no, don't chase after her once you lost her. I'm saying during a relationship. They usually don't work out because one person or the other is sick of trying. see how much work and effort she puts into trying to contact you in the future and trying to get back with you. if she passes and qualifies in your eyes take her back, but let her know it can't stop there and that she will always need to work for you to be pleased. But don't seem demanding or be demanding. just let her know relationships are alot of work and that she can't give up. there are good and bad times, and there are many more bad times which make the good times seem soo much better than they really are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Good Seed Posted May 25, 2005 Author Share Posted May 25, 2005 Very good point but also she might be a little bit imature at this stage in her life. She def. gave up really easily or atleast somebody got her head full of ideas to abondon me.... GS Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyandnonexistant Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 go figure. my ex always took her friends sides over mine. and they always filled her head with how im a bad boyfriend and how im restricted her from seeing them yet i always let her go out and have her ladies night when ever she wanted. women are very immature in a relationship sense until they are in there 30's and even then some still can't comprehend the true meanings and work a relationship involves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Good Seed Posted May 25, 2005 Author Share Posted May 25, 2005 Funny thing is that all her old friend are hitting on me now lol. Go figure they probably were filling her head with bad thoughts to get with me. Its kind of flatering but pathetic from their end. I hope one day she will realize what she lost.... GS Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyandnonexistant Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 we all do and they usually take a while to realise. and when they want to come back into your life you have or had a few girlfriends and they dont come back till they know uve been with others and are jealous. well thats how mine usually work out anyways. women are confusing as hell and i hate it Link to post Share on other sites
Author Good Seed Posted May 25, 2005 Author Share Posted May 25, 2005 Very good point. It just kills me to know that she can abondon a 2 year relationship just like that. I am already talking to a few women right now but you still think about the past no matter what. GS Link to post Share on other sites
Author Good Seed Posted May 26, 2005 Author Share Posted May 26, 2005 Any other opinions about this? GS Link to post Share on other sites
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