Confusedovo Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 (edited) I've been talking to this guy. He texts A LOT. More than I would prefer at this point really. But when I'm not busy I just roll with it and talk with him. We've talked on the phone too a couple of times. We usually get on well and have a laugh, bur today he's been....different. Crazy? He's planning to see me tomorrow after work, if its mot too hectic (lives a couple hours away) ge asked me to do something for him tomorrow that I CAN'T do. I told him why I can't. He said things like Do you always do what you are told? ****ing hell You can but you just wont Then I asked why he's being so difficult. He says. "I wanted to see how far I can push you" I tekk him that's messed up and he says "chill babe" Then later on he asks how many guys I talk to. I tell him a few, he says he speaks to "loads" bur only wanna date me and will stop talking to them when we are exclusive. Then he says he's a jealous person, doesn't like me talking to other guys and he will take his OLD profile down tonight. I tell him he doesn't have to do that! That he might not even like me in person. He says I like mind games! I tell him I will stop talking to others IF we become exclusive, which is only fair. His lovely reply is "what's fair is you listen to your man :)" What the heck!? My head hurts. I don't know what got into him tonight. Edited November 2, 2015 by Confusedovo Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Take this behaviour as a warning. Just think he's on his best behaviour now. It can only get worse! 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedovo Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 Should I meet him and see how he acts in person? Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 I wouldn't meet anyone that would speak to me the way that guy spoke to you. If he's pushing your buttons before you've even met, imagine the buttons he's going to push when he gets to know you better. It'll never end. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 If you like that kind of guy, you would have responded positively instead of asking about it on this forum. So I think he is wrong for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Guyouthere Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 sounds really messed up. maybe he is on drugs too. You shouldn't have to ask us what to do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedovo Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 I just don't understand what he means by push me. And why he wanted to do that. Or his sudden change in attitude towards me (had been fun and lighthearted up to now) I guess I'm wondering if he's kinda joking around but you can't hear tone through text. Its. Just spun my head a bit wondering if I did something wrong. I'm curious about meeting him.....i dunno.... Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Run. Don't meet up with him. Don't communicate with him anymore. He's one creepy dude. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Should I meet him and see how he acts in person? Huh?!? When someone you've never even met is already pushing you to ignore your boundaries and constraints, not to mention, cursing at you...EXIT!! If this is putting his best foot forward, I would hate to see what he's really like once he gets comfortable in a relationship. Why would you ever considering meeting him? He sounds like a total jerk, with zippo respect for you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 (edited) I just don't understand what he means by push me. And why he wanted to do that. Or his sudden change in attitude towards me (had been fun and lighthearted up to now) I guess I'm wondering if he's kinda joking around but you can't hear tone through text. Its. Just spun my head a bit wondering if I did something wrong. I'm curious about meeting him.....i dunno.... My guess is he's a controlling, verbally abusive ass, and he is testing your boundaries, to see how much of his BS you will tolerate. Abusers pick their victims very carefully, so if you are intrigued by his behavior now (before even meeting) and actually go meet him, he knows he's found someone he can control, dominate and manipulate... It's a test of sorts, and it appears you are playing right into it beautifully. To each his own, wish you luck... Edited November 2, 2015 by katiegrl 12 Link to post Share on other sites
neowulf Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Should I meet him and see how he acts in person? Umm.. let me put it this way. If the dog is snarling at you from behind the gate, do you think it's a great idea to reach over and try give it a pat? No.. No I don't think you should meat the clearly control freak guy. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 He sounds unstable. And jealous and controlling. Think about it. You haven't even met yet and he's acting like this. That's not normal. Or realistic. I think there is something to be said about abusing types knowing how to pick the right people to be abusive toward in the future. Why are you even considering seeing what he is like in person? How does this behavior make you feel? Only confused? Not completely grossed out? It's not attractive at all. It doesn't make sense in a normal dating world so that means you'd be agreeing to something that is not normal!! He sounds clingy, needy and scary to be honest. Run. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Wewon Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Welcome to your future. This is the kind of person that will always test you for weak spots and exploit them, his fall back position will be, "You let me do it", 'it' being whatever task you either were too exhausted to fend off or gave him the benefit of the doubt on. Trust me, this will not end. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xcupid Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 This is not a guy you want to be involved with at all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xcupid Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 I'm curious about meeting him.....i dunno.... You're kidding, right? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Run away, do not meet up with him. He's a manipulator with possible psych issues. Once you put up with the crazy once, he'll turn it on habitually and before long you'll be in a constant anxious state wondering why he's doing this when all the rest of the time he seems perfectly normal. He gets his kicks out of working you up and laying into you. Require better for youself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 I just don't understand what he means by push me. And why he wanted to do that. Or his sudden change in attitude towards me (had been fun and lighthearted up to now) I guess I'm wondering if he's kinda joking around but you can't hear tone through text. Its. Just spun my head a bit wondering if I did something wrong. I'm curious about meeting him.....i dunno.... Do you have no standards or self-respect? Do not meet this person. Major warning bells here. You'd be very foolish to continue this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Should I meet him and see how he acts in person? I personally would not he comes off too needy and creepy for me. Link to post Share on other sites
SoFrustrated Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 He sounds like a scary, controlling abuser. If you become involved with him, you'll wish you had of listened to the signs before it's too late 1 Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Should I meet him and see how he acts in person? Why on earth would you want to? Is he hot? Does what he say turn you on? If not again, why would you meet him. What is it about him that makes you ask permission to ignore the red flags? Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 I've been talking to this guy. He texts A LOT. More than I would prefer at this point really. But when I'm not busy I just roll with it and talk with him. We've talked on the phone too a couple of times. We usually get on well and have a laugh, bur today he's been....different. Crazy? He's planning to see me tomorrow after work, if its mot too hectic (lives a couple hours away) ge asked me to do something for him tomorrow that I CAN'T do. I told him why I can't. He said things like Do you always do what you are told? ****ing hell You can but you just wont Then I asked why he's being so difficult. He says. "I wanted to see how far I can push you" I tekk him that's messed up and he says "chill babe" Then later on he asks how many guys I talk to. I tell him a few, he says he speaks to "loads" bur only wanna date me and will stop talking to them when we are exclusive. Then he says he's a jealous person, doesn't like me talking to other guys and he will take his OLD profile down tonight. I tell him he doesn't have to do that! That he might not even like me in person. He says I like mind games! I tell him I will stop talking to others IF we become exclusive, which is only fair. His lovely reply is "what's fair is you listen to your man :)" What the heck!? My head hurts. I don't know what got into him tonight. he's unpredictable, demanding, cocky, giving you loads of attention, playing hot and cold, future faking you... and giving you really high thrills. I understand how that would trigger your attention - he's giving you that knot in the stomach. I bet he's doing it for fun and to a LOT of chicks. He's absolutely not interested in impressing you, you're his attention slave. The moment he wrote "I just want to see how far I can push you", I'd be "f*ck you and good luck hunting, brother!". Self respect starts with yourself. And he's projecting his mind games on you - be certain, he is the one instigating them. There's only ONE sure way of winning mind games: by not playing them at all. Sounds like he enjoys taking a piss out of people - is that the best you can do? What do YOU want? chillax, delete or unmatch and press the "Next" button, girl. You can do much better than that loser. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 My prediction: After two FULL pages of everyone saying 'don't meet him - he's controlling and unbalanced," I predict we'll see a post 3 or 4 months from now from the OP telling you all she should have listened to your warnings but didn't. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Why on earth would you want to? *Does what he say turn you on?* Bingo! That is exactly why she wants to meet him.... Isn't it obvious? And I agree with Lois G. Y'all are wasting your energy. She is turned on, is going to meet him, and will be back here, or another forum, weeks or months from now, her self-esteem trashed, wondering what the hell is going on. The Fifty Shades of Gray Syndrome. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lansing Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Weird. This guy sounds like a "virtual" player. Maybe he read something that you should treat girls like this and he is trying it out. It is just weird. I would move on and meet other guys. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Should I meet him and see how he acts in person? No... No you should not. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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