Mother is in the hospital

[JamesFaden]

am sorry to hear about your mother, I hope she can recover from whatever problems she is facing.

 

 

I lost my mother to suicide it was incredibly devastating and to this day it hurts.

 

Just lay by her side and get her what she needs. I think support is what is most important.

[GemmaUK]

Thank you so much!

 

I've decided to set a schedule. Monday - Friday I do the things she needs me to do. If it gets too much for me, we've both agreed that she would understand if I communicated that to her.

 

Saturday and Sunday are days I take for myself.

 

Things have been going great since she's been back from the hospital. We've been communicating more, and doing extra work for her has actually kept me busy enough to take my mind off of things (while at the same time feeling a sense of accomplishment).

 

This is good news that you are setting some boundaries.

Be aware though that at the moment your Mum feels she has a lot of support and after some time this feeling in her will wain.

It's like she has had a mammoth amount of caring, listening to her needs and care at the time she absolutely needs it but also real life will kick back in and 'normality' and that will mean she will feel less supported - less in the centre.

 

I, quite inadvertently have got involved in checking up on someone who is depressed just this last couple of weeks. I have got her (we'll call her Jane) and her best friend (Mary) back talking again but not through Jane understanding that she was very dismissive of some things Mary is going through. Jane apologised to Mary but didn't see any reason for doing so - she just did it so that Mary would be there for her again.

Jane said all the right things to Mary but then told me that she didn't mean any of them. I don't know what to do right now about this situ and I know Jane will hurt Mary again sometime soon. Jane will then not have any awareness of having been rude and dismissive

 

Be careful Erica - and this is why you need that support network.

I don't mean to sound distrustful of your mum but 100% do not do this alone. You are not a hero and you are not an experienced psychotherapist.

 

You are in a very tough position. When things are great they are great and it can feel like they will last. I sincerely hope they do but be aware they may not.

I had a lodger at one point who would be fine for a while and then things would all kick off. She said she had been diagnosed as Bi-polar but refused meds or any treatment.

 

You might want to look into support groups for relatives of sufferers.

I totally apologise if any of this sounds harsh. It's not meant that way. I don't want you to feel trapped in a situation all on your own.

((hugs)) xx