Am i wasting my time?

[Ting157]

It's been 9 years and my family still disapproves. I come from a quite a wealthy family which is a blessing and a curse. They expect me to marry someone that is of the same class as us. They think that my boyfriend is not the right guy for me as he doesn't fit into my family's lifestyle.

 

My boyfriend doesn't like the way my family is, but he's willing to compromise and just deal with it. All for the sake of being with me for the rest of our lives. But I don't want to keep fighting with my family over my relationship. It's exhausting to juggle my job, family and boyfriend. I've been living with him for almost a year now and they still won't accept the fact that he is most likely going to be my life partner.

 

My parents keep forcing me to expand my horizons and search for somebody better, but the fact of the matter is, that there will always be someone better. But better isn't always gonna be for you. That's what I believe in. If you love somebody...your loyalty lies with them. I love my boyfriend with all my heart and I believe that all his effort right now will make him a very successful person in the future. I just need my family to see that and offer him the same support as I do...but that just seems impossible. My parents absolutely hate him for some reason. They just don't see anything in him. They see him as just a simpleton as they'd like to call him.

 

I understand that they put me on a higher pedestal than anyone else as I'm their only daughter, but doesn't my happiness matter too? This man tries everything to provide me the life that I'm accustomed to. He spoils me to the core, but at the same time has taught me values and morals that my parents have failed to teach me when I was younger. In all honesty, my boyfriend has taught me and made me a better person in life. Before I met him, I was the typical rich bitch, screwing up my life. But ever since I've met him, within those 9 years, he's taught me real love, compassion and loyalty. But my parents fail to see that....they think that he's lowering my 'standards'. He's making me lose my 'class'. I don't think that's true...I've just learned to live life in a simpler manner instead of expecting luxury all the time.

 

At the same time....I hate to disappoint my dad. He has spent so much on me, my education...He's provided me with things that most girls would be jealous of and I appreciate him for it. I know he loves me and wants what's best for me..which hurts so bad when I see the look of disappointment in his face whenever I talk about travelling with my boyfriend.

 

I want to marry this man...but how do I do that with all this disapproval?? We're planning to get married by next year...bt he wants to gain my dad's approval first. At this point...that seems so impossible...should I give up or keep going?? Which side do I take???

[Got it]

You are an adult and you lead your life in the manner that you feel is the best. So if your boyfriend is the best fit for you, you sit your parents down, you tell them you appreciate that they love and support you and because of that you need them to love and support your choice in your partner. They don't have to like him but you will not allow them to make disparaging comments, actions, etc. towards him or you will have to separate your time with them. They don't need to like your decision but they need to respect it.

 

You will have to decide if ultimately you can walk away, if you are tied because of the money, etc. It is up to you on how you want to live your life.

[qubist]

I read you other thread where you mentioned that your boyfriend made some mistakes in the past that made your parent mad. I'm just wondering if there is more to the story than just them hating him. Are you telling us everything?

If yes you are old enough to make your decision, go ahead and marry him without your dad blessing and plan on living without parent support.