gnilrac Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 (edited) Hi,everyone.I"m 41 male been married 20years,with 4 beautiful kids. Our marriage has always been rocky,but today she handed me blank divorce papers amd said I have to fill them in.This is the second time. I work and she looks after the running of the local school voLuntarily. At first her voluntary job was a hobby,but then it became a full time job. We had spoken and argued about it countless times,but she refused to give up the job and get a paying one to help with the finances.She also started neglecting her duties in our home and started passing it on to the kids.Now,she has decided to divorce and wants everything.Unfortunately there is no mysterious cheating going on from both our sides,and it all comes down to her g keeping her voluntary job while my family and house are put at a standstill.I really need some advice,please.Thanks in advance Edited November 2, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Do you want the divorce or not? What is your question, and your objective, exactly? Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 It's always been a rocky marriage..so I can't imagine that's been fun. You'll need to consult a divorce lawyer, but I expect that a judge will suggest she gets paid employment, as she's capable of doing so. She can't force you to fill the papers in though. I can't understand why she would not want a paying job, doing the same type of work. You've been married a long time and depending where you live, she'll be entitled to a fair amount and that includes your pension. Maybe you can get her to see that one income having to support 2 homes will affect your kids and their standard of living. If you want the divorce too, but finances are your main concern, then perhaps you can persuade her that you'll agree to a divorce and agree on the split of assets if she gets a paying job.....if not you can tell her you'll drag the divorce out as long as possible. See legal advice though. Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Consult a divorce attorney, which can usually be done for free, to know where you stand. Do not fill out papers for her, that's crazy. Let her do that on her own. I'd put an end to having the kids do her domestic duties, so she can goof off all day. I'd close all the joint accounts also & put her on a very strict budget. Stop providing her any luxuries (anything besides; clothing, food & shelter), if she doesn't contribute financially. How's she getting to her "job"? Who's watching the kids while she's "working"? I'd document everything (including secretly recording all your contacts with her), because people can get very nasty when they don't get their way in marriage & separation. In fact, some groups will suggest that women lie about being abused to facilitate or gain favoritism in divorce proceedings. CYA is always a good idea in situations like this. Link to post Share on other sites
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