Mannie00 Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 So me and my ex were dating for around a year and eight months before she broke up. I was her first boyfriend and she was my first girlfriend. We never really had any problems except the usual couple fights. She broke up because she had a brother/sister feeling, we were more friends than lovers. Eventually we got in a fight (after the break up) because I wanted one thing and that was getting back together, she did not and that caused a lot of frustration on my side. Now it's almost two years later and for some reason I decided to send her a text, just how things are going and how she was etc. Eventually I asked if she wanted to meet up so we could catch up with eachother. I've tried making contact before, but the last time was over a year ago.. she did not want anything from me at that point. Not even talk to me. She always said that she thought we would get back together one day (yes I know it could be just bull**** lies to make me feel better at the time) and even though I'm not still in love with her, I still remember the times we had and I see no reason why I would say no if she wanted to get back together. I don't know what I should think from this, am I overhyping this? Why would she have changed her mind and now is willing to meet up? Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 a year's gone by and she's just curious, just like you. Remember, you are the one that initiated this and she is the one that left you, so you are the one in chasing mode right now. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mannie00 Posted November 3, 2015 Author Share Posted November 3, 2015 True, but doesn't it say a lot that she didn't want anything from me at first and now we're chatting and she wants to meet up? Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 She just wants to be friends. She didn't want to be with you. She wanted to go ahead and screw other people. I would find it hard to take my ex back, if he did that, even if he was chasing after me. NO way. It's like having given him the green light to go ahead and screw other people, and then come back to me. If he decided I wasn't good enough, then he should not expect me to hang around waiting for him and take him back when he decides he has had enough of screwing other people. The same should go for you. And she's not even the one chasing after you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Frogwife Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 The problem (as with every.single.question.on.this.forum) is that no one knows what she is or isn't thinking. You just have to meet her and find out. The fact that she wants to meet now - when just a year ago she wouldn't speak to you - is good news, of course. At minimum, in a friendly way. Perhaps more, but we don't know. But there is no way anyone - whether they are bitter or optimistic - knows what she is thinking. You just have to meet her and find out. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 True, but doesn't it say a lot that she didn't want anything from me at first and now we're chatting and she wants to meet up? Not necessarily. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mannie00 Posted November 4, 2015 Author Share Posted November 4, 2015 You guys are right, after chatting with her (now for 2 days in a row) I've noticed that the conversation isn't really that exciting, not only from her side but mine as well. I think I needed to just have a wake up call and realise that it isn't all fairy tailes and what not. Besides I engaged contact not her. I think I'm just going to see where it goes, she said she wanted to catch up but for now we haven't talked about when and where so maybe it won't happen at all. Sometimes I forget that even though what we had was great, she is not the same person anymore that she was in 'our' time. Thanks guys! Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 True, but doesn't it say a lot that she didn't want anything from me at first and now we're chatting and she wants to meet up? Sorry, no. She still is feeling that brother/sister vibe: otherwise, she'd have been the one contacting you first if she wanted you as her lover. Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 It's not rocket science my friend You said you're not in love in with her, correct? If that's true then what's the problem? Go hang out with her and catch up on a few things. Have you dated since your break up with her? Cool. Has she dated since your break up? I'm sure she has. Initiating contact with someone doesn't mean you're in 'chase mode' people just say that because they don't want you to get hurt. If you believe in your heart and your gut that you can sit across from this girl and have a decent convo then by all means make it happen. Don't be outcome dependent and just be in the moment. Use your best judgement, it's been 2 years this isn't a question you need to ask us. You know what to do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fiskadoro Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I just wanna cosign on Jonp219 and Frogwife. So many people have no choice but to project what the OP really thinks/did because of the typical limitations of the internet. That said, dude, you KNOW her... so what after two dates you aren't feeling it? It's been a year, it takes a while to rekindle some attractions. Why throw in the towel so quickly if you think sth might be there? I mean, you made the first contact, show her the new you... and if you really don't love her anymore, it's not like you would be heartbroken if it fails, right? Good luck:) Link to post Share on other sites
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