New to being the OW and maybe Pregnent

[whatatangledweb]

He lives in Texas and myself in Louisiana. He recently took a case here that put him in the area for a little under 3 weeks. We were together frequently. He has now left to go back to Texas and I haven't heard from in over a week.

 

Okay I am confused. How could you be 11 to 12 weeks pregnant? Was he there in Sept also? I'm not being rude but I know others will wonder the same thing.

[anika99]

I read it that since June the OP has been meeting up with MM couple of times a month, but she hasn't seem him for the past 3 weeks. So yeah, possible that she got pregnant early Sept.

[ladydesigner]

I am currently 11-12 weeks. Further than I expected.

He has been married for a little under 8 years. He has 2 children the oldest being 10. Are our children friends? Yes.

Our families are deeply connected and indebted to each other. We could get in a knockdown drag out fight and we'd still be expected to sit across from each other at company and family occasions, outings and functions.

 

 

As I previously stated sometimes keeping up appearances are a matter of life. I have only told my immediate family. They support me 100%. They are no way happy with the choices I made but they love me and will continue to support me as always. There's also no way any of them are saying anything. As for my social group- being that my family makes up 75% of the group we stick together publicly. Always have.

 

When this spouse finds out that you are pregnant with her hubby's baby (you say your children are friends with theirs and your family is deeply connected with his) this is not going to bode well for you.

[Mayday2016]

I read it that since June the OP has been meeting up with MM couple of times a month, but she hasn't seem him for the past 3 weeks. So yeah, possible that she got pregnant early Sept.

 

 

 

That would put her around 8 weeks so why did she just now take a test when she missed 2 cycles? ? As I'm currently pregnant I'm side eyeing the **** out of OP. Especially as she's claiming to be a lawyer but has no concept of how the law regards paternity and the ways she can circumvent like having her husband sign documentation stating it's not even his child. The fact she'd do something so morally irreprehensible as allowing her husband (a, I'm guessing as he's in jail, convicted child molester) to be on the hook of parentage for this baby, blows my mind.

[goodyblue]

That would put her around 8 weeks so why did she just now take a test when she missed 2 cycles? As I'm currently pregnant I'm side eyeing the **** out of OP. Especially as she's claiming to be a lawyer but has no concept of how the law regards paternity and the ways she can circumvent like having her husband sign documentation stating it's not even his child. The fact she'd do something so morally irreprehensible as allowing her husband (a, I'm guessing as he's in jail, convicted child molester) to be on the hook of parentage for this baby, blows my mind.

 

I am doing the same. You know, when I posted a while back (couple of years), I skewed things(dates etc) to protect the identity of my h's daughter. This does not feel like something simple like that. It feels like a bunch of facts were quickly thrown together which in the end, make no sense. I just feel sad, hoping this is not true... this whole fiasco.

 

I am trying to figure out how the families are entwined and the kids are friends when they are states away. Nothing makes sense.

[Sassy Girl]

I am doing the same. You know, when I posted a while back (couple of years), I skewed things(dates etc) to protect the identity of my h's daughter. This does not feel like something simple like that. It feels like a bunch of facts were quickly thrown together which in the end, make no sense. I just feel sad, hoping this is not true... this whole fiasco.

 

I am trying to figure out how the families are entwined and the kids are friends when they are states away. Nothing makes sense.

 

Lol I'm just baffled that someone who apparently passed the bar doesn't understand basic fertility...

 

In any case.... I've got an each way bet on the MM being a Person connected to the family by marriage... Brother in law perhaps? In which case I've seen this actually play out in real life where the daughters of MM ... One to each sister, call each other sissycuz... It's all sorts of dysfunctional.

[ShatteredLady]

Maybe this is a lot to do with it too....

 

OP Quote - "I've never said I was perfect nor did I try to portray myself in that light. Due to me trying to put a positive spin on the situation I alienated even more. It's not arrogance or narcissistic tendencies that made me want try and stay upbeat its just how I am trying to deal given the hand that I have at this time."

 

Think about everything that she's got going on. I think being so diffensive is also part of the "trying to deal".

 

I know what it's like to be REALLY needing to fall apart & loose my mind while staying 'perky' in my hunky-dory little shiny world for my kids & the world around me.

[goodyblue]

Maybe this is a lot to do with it too....

 

OP Quote - "I've never said I was perfect nor did I try to portray myself in that light. Due to me trying to put a positive spin on the situation I alienated even more. It's not arrogance or narcissistic tendencies that made me want try and stay upbeat its just how I am trying to deal given the hand that I have at this time."

 

Think about everything that she's got going on. I think being so diffensive is also part of the "trying to deal".

 

I know what it's like to be REALLY needing to fall apart & loose my mind while staying 'perky' in my hunky-dory little shiny world for my kids & the world around me.

 

Ha!! Not me, I just fall apart!!

[Ms. Faust]

That would put her around 8 weeks so why did she just now take a test when she missed 2 cycles? ? As I'm currently pregnant I'm side eyeing the **** out of OP. Especially as she's claiming to be a lawyer but has no concept of how the law regards paternity and the ways she can circumvent like having her husband sign documentation stating it's not even his child. The fact she'd do something so morally irreprehensible as allowing her husband (a, I'm guessing as he's in jail, convicted child molester) to be on the hook of parentage for this baby, blows my mind.

 

Maybe I am being super nitpicky, but I was just recently pregnant, and other than the initial moment of taking the pregnancy test I wasn't so vague about knowing how long I was pregnant. 11-12 weeks? I had exct weeks and days by then. I dunno, sounds too sketchy. It just seems like someone who waited eight years of get pregnant wouldn't be so cavalier.

[anika99]

How does someone know exactly how many days they are into a pregnancy? Seems the only way a person could pin down the specific day would be to know the exact day they got pregnant which I know often a woman does know the day she conceived but just as often a woman doesn't know.

 

I'm confused by the turn this thread has taken. Are people suggesting that the OP isn't pregnant? Because I haven't read anything by the OP that makes me believe she is lying about the pregnancy. She said she was seeing the MM every couple of weeks since June and it sounded like they would spend several days together. I mistakenly said she would have gotten pregnant in sept but if she's 11-12 weeks pregnant I guess it would mean she got pregnant in August which is perfectly plausible based on what she has said. The only part that was disconcerting to me was that in the OPs first post she said her period was late and she may be pregnant only to state a day or two later that she is definitely 11-12 weeks pregnant.

 

I think the OP knew she was pregnant when she posted the first time but she said maybe she was pregnant as a way of testing the water. Too bad she didn't know how quick people are to pick up on discrepancies in stories which just illustrates how she is not fully getting the reality of the situation. Still there's no point in people continuing to berate her for not using protection. Browbeating her now isn't going to make her unpregnant.

 

OP if you are still reading here I just want to wish you luck. You say that you are financially secure and that you have the support of your family. That's more then a lot off other OW in your predicament have so maybe it will all turn out okay. I'm glad your kids are in therapy and I hope you continue to focus on what is best for them.

[goodyblue]

How does someone know exactly how many days they are into a pregnancy? Seems the only way a person could pin down the specific day would be to know the exact day they got pregnant which I know often a woman does know the day she conceived but just as often a woman doesn't know.

 

I'm confused by the turn this thread has taken. Are people suggesting that the OP isn't pregnant? Because I haven't read anything by the OP that makes me believe she is lying about the pregnancy. She said she was seeing the MM every couple of weeks since June and it sounded like they would spend several days together. I mistakenly said she would have gotten pregnant in sept but if she's 11-12 weeks pregnant I guess it would mean she got pregnant in August which is perfectly plausible based on what she has said. The only part that was disconcerting to me was that in the OPs first post she said her period was late and she may be pregnant only to state a day or two later that she is definitely 11-12 weeks pregnant.

 

I think the OP knew she was pregnant when she posted the first time but she said maybe she was pregnant as a way of testing the water. Too bad she didn't know how quick people are to pick up on discrepancies in stories which just illustrates how she is not fully getting the reality of the situation. Still there's no point in people continuing to berate her for not using protection. Browbeating her now isn't going to make her unpregnant.

 

OP if you are still reading here I just want to wish you luck. You say that you are financially secure and that you have the support of your family. That's more then a lot off other OW in your predicament have so maybe it will all turn out okay. I'm glad your kids are in therapy and I hope you continue to focus on what is best for them.

 

Anika, I always enjoy your posts because they are conscise, but also find myself struggling with this thread because it seems to be all over the place with facts along with just being ridiculously cavalier regarding the BS's feelings.

[anika99]

Anika, I always enjoy your posts because they are conscise, but also find myself struggling with this thread because it seems to be all over the place with facts along with just being ridiculously cavalier regarding the BS's feelings.

 

Oh I agree and I also felt shocked at the attitude towards the BS. The whole shame on the BW if she doesn't love my baby comment really seemed to set people on edge, myself included. I think the facts being somewhat jumbled is just the OP feeling like she didn't need to post the exact information about the details just to get some feedback on her situation. She didn't realize that posting on loveshack is like testifying in a courtroom. New posters should be sworn in. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God? LOL...we Loveshack posters don't let any discrepancies go unnoticed.

[goodyblue]

Oh I agree and I also felt shocked at the attitude towards the BS. The whole shame on the BW if she doesn't love my baby comment really seemed to set people on edge, myself included. I think the facts being somewhat jumbled is just the OP feeling like she didn't need to post the exact information about the details just to get some feedback on her situation. She didn't realize that posting on loveshack is like testifying in a courtroom. New posters should be sworn in. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God? LOL...we Loveshack posters don't let any discrepancies go unnoticed.

 

Oh man. You are right about swearing in. I will try to be nicer.

[Ms. Faust]

How does someone know exactly how many days they are into a pregnancy? Seems the only way a person could pin down the specific day would be to know the exact day they got pregnant which I know often a woman does know the day she conceived but just as often a woman doesn't know.

 

Untrue, all you need to know is the first day of your last menstrual cycle. When I took my pregnancy test I knew within a few minutes I was 4 weeks, 3 days pregnant, give or take a day or two.

Edited November 7, 2015 by Ms. Faust

[Ms. Faust]

Oh I agree and I also felt shocked at the attitude towards the BS. The whole shame on the BW if she doesn't love my baby comment really seemed to set people on edge, myself included. I think the facts being somewhat jumbled is just the OP feeling like she didn't need to post the exact information about the details just to get some feedback on her situation. She didn't realize that posting on loveshack is like testifying in a courtroom. New posters should be sworn in. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God? LOL...we Loveshack posters don't let any discrepancies go unnoticed.

 

I disagree also about her feeling she didn't need to post facts, and she most certainly doesn't care about hiding her identity:

 

We know her state.

We know MM state.

We know her profession.

We know what field she is in her profession.

We have apx. Dates of MM last visit for work.

We know her husband has been charged with lascivious acts back in January.

We ever know her religious denomination.

 

She has been quite detailed.

[goodyblue]

Untrue, all you need to know is the first day of your last menstrual cycle. When I took my pregnancy test I knew within a few minutes I was 4 weeks, 3 days pregnant, give or take a day or two.

 

Much as I appreciate your posts, I have to disagree. Esp if there are procedures involved. One ovary, or whatever was done, may have a part in her not knowing her cycle.

 

BUT. That does not account for her terrible attitude and defensiveness. And tbh... I have a difficult time believing the attorney thing. If you are an attorney you should be able to spell pregnancy. I would love to know what her speciality is.

 

Tbh... she does not argue like a lawyer.

[Ms. Faust]

I'll take into account the one ovary thing, but there are trackers and tickers all over that gives a very close date. Plus, OP said first she took a pregnant test at night, then later she went to the doctor, so at the least it seems a professional would have not been as vague as 11-12 weeks.

 

Also, she said her speciality is family law, or heavily implied it.