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"If a guy is interested....he WILL pursue..."


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And yet people say there is someone for everyone

 

Seriously, man. You need to stop worrying about women completely.

 

Every time I view a thread that got you posting in it, all you do is complain and whine, which is completely annoying and one of the main reasons why women doesn't like you to begin with.

 

Heck, I wouldn't approach anyone, man or women, that whines and complains all day long. In fact, I take pride in avoiding people like you.

 

I only got one advice for you, in which I do the same myself right now: Stop thinking about women. Remove it from your head. Focus on activities that doesn't have the goal of meeting women in it.

 

If you like video games, play them. If you like sports, play that. If you have any hobbies that you want to focus on, do them.

 

Because that is exactly what I am doing. As a result, I have noticed I gotten more interest from women as a result because I ended up not giving a damn about women and whether or not I am attractive to them or not. If the time comes that a relationship is possible, great, but I don't make it a main focal point anymore.

 

On either case, STOP WORRYING ABOUT WOMEN!!!!!

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GorillaTheater

On either case, STOP WORRYING ABOUT WOMEN!!!!!

 

Lord knows, once you get one, you've got a whole new plethora of problems and issues to figure out.

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GunslingerRoland

I think for both the men and the women in this thread complaining you need to realize. Dating is lousy for everyone in 2015 and arguing about whose getting the rawer end of the deal solves less than nothing.

 

 

You need to put your bitterness about dating aside before you can try to go do it. And everyone should take their own responsibility to try and make it less crappy. If you want to be approached, be approachable. For men, if you want casual only, be up front about it.

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Lord knows, once you get one, you've got a whole new plethora of problems and issues to figure out.

 

This is the crux of it. Relationships aren't the "super wonderful always happy fun times" that people think they are.

 

Life is typically simpler single.

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BronzeAgeJaeger217
Seriously, man. You need to stop worrying about women completely.

 

Every time I view a thread that got you posting in it, all you do is complain and whine, which is completely annoying and one of the main reasons why women doesn't like you to begin with.

 

Heck, I wouldn't approach anyone, man or women, that whines and complains all day long. In fact, I take pride in avoiding people like you.

 

I only got one advice for you, in which I do the same myself right now: Stop thinking about women. Remove it from your head. Focus on activities that doesn't have the goal of meeting women in it.

 

If you like video games, play them. If you like sports, play that. If you have any hobbies that you want to focus on, do them.

 

Because that is exactly what I am doing. As a result, I have noticed I gotten more interest from women as a result because I ended up not giving a damn about women and whether or not I am attractive to them or not. If the time comes that a relationship is possible, great, but I don't make it a main focal point anymore.

 

On either case, STOP WORRYING ABOUT WOMEN!!!!!

 

Find it hard to believe that you would get women interested in you by you doing that, how do you know women are interested in you since women generally will not approach or express interest in a guy first

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Lord knows, once you get one, you've got a whole new plethora of problems and issues to figure out.

 

Life in general...

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This is the crux of it. Relationships aren't the "super wonderful always happy fun times" that people think they are.

 

Life is typically simpler single.

 

Yes. but people can feel lonely and sometimes need a helping hand...sigh, but you have to pay for what you get one way or anther.

 

so I guess I should be happy with who and what and where I am now?

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Find it hard to believe that you would get women interested in you by you doing that, how do you know women are interested in you since women generally will not approach or express interest in a guy first

 

Just because this is your experience doesn't mean it is other men's experience. About half of my sexual and dating experiences were initiated by women approaching and expressing interest. Maybe you aren't giving an open vibe or you seem unapproachable to some women.

G

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Rejected Rosebud
The hardest part about approaching and initiating with women, is doing it without bitterness and resentment, which unfortunately, women have a 6th sense for
I def believe that if approaching a woman causes you bitterness and resentment, you SHOULD NOT DO IT. Nobody wants to spend any time at all with a bitter, resentful person. You'll be wasting your time. Your time would be better spent getting some professional help with this problem you have or else coming to peace with being alone. No relationship of any kind, even a one night stand, can be started with an attitude such as yours. :(:(
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Rejected Rosebud
And thats one of the biggest problems in attracting women, and getting dates. Most men ARE driven by sex, but most women mistake their approach as confidence and being a man. Its nothing but games and misunderstanding.

 

Nope, YOU don't understand. If you were right nobody would be in good relationships with men / women who they actually like or love and respect. Many of us are.
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Any man, any REAL man, will initially pursue you. It's what we've done for thousands of years.

 

However, any real man will also lose interest in you if you don't show reciprocated interest shortly after his initial pursuit. We don't have time to waste on game-playing women who want us to continually run after them.

 

Not interested? Bye.

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Rejected Rosebud

I still think that you can still be a "real man" and not pursue girls ever, but if you're not gonna try and then sit around whining about it and how much "easier" it is to be a girl ... there's not much hope. Guys - think about it - WHY would any girl like a guy who did that???

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We go for what we want :)

 

I understsand that, and its your right.

 

But theres a huge difference between going for a guy because you value him, respect him, and like who he is as a person VS going for a guy just because he willing to sell himself out just to be with you, has no backbone, and does whatever you want.

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And thats exactly whats wrong with dating nowadays.

 

Too many women have standards and expectations so high, that if a guy doesnt ask how high when a woman says jump, she instantly dismisses him and looks for one who will.

 

Some guys like to see a woman put in some effort as well. I see it as a guy having a spine, and not just kissing her ass and chasing her around like a puppy dog. But women twist the scenario around and label guys that dont chase as having no confidence. They cant stand that a guy they have an interest in wont chase them so they will always try to find a way to bash his character to save face.

 

You sure are an easily stressed individual. No need to make asking a woman out such a trial and tribulation.

 

My friends and I are asked out by men. We go on dates. Quite a healthy normal male/female interaction. If you don't have the confidence to ask a woman out then you should deal with your issue instead of projecting your insecurity into those who function fine.

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Rejected Rosebud
Itheres a huge difference between going for a guy because you value him, respect him, and like who he is as a person VS going for a guy just because he willing to sell himself out just to be with you, has no backbone, and does whatever you want.
Can you find one place on this whole forum where a girl says she wants to be with a guy because he is "willing to sell himself out, has no backbone and does whatever she wants"??? I don't think so!! A) because girls rarely like that so we won't be saying it, and 2) because USUALLY guys are moaning about how girls ONLY LIKE BAD BOYS!! :lmao::lmao: But now ... we only like pushovers!!! :laugh:
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Okay, here's a question for the guys....

 

Most of my life I have had the belief that "if a guy is interested...he will pursue you..." I've been fed that line many times before. And based on personal experience, that logic is definitely true! Whenever I went AFTER a guy, it would never work out. But whenever I let the guy come to ME (ie. meaning he's definitely shown that he's attracted to me, he's interested, he talks to me, etc) things usually work out SO much better! Even super SHY guys in the past who were interested in me eventually made a move later on down the line. :o

This what normal, healthy men do, ie the kind of men you want to date.

 

But then, often I hear (or even read on message boards) an overwhelming amount of guys saying that this sentiment (guys will always pursue) is NOT always true! Some guys SWEAR that they won't always pursue a girl they are interested in or catches their eye (assuming the guy is SINGLE of course), and they will be just fine leaving things up to chance!

This what guys who post on the internet complaining they can never get a girlfriend do, ie the kind of men you don't want to date.

 

So....tell me guys... If there is a girl you meet/know of and you're REALLY interested in her, or you're really attracted to her (you just have to get to know her better), for the most part, will you pursue her or try to at least talk to her and be in her company? Or do you sometimes leave things up to chance (ie. wait for the girl to show interest in YOU first, wait for the girl to pursue YOU, or see if the girl has other qualities that you like)? BE HONEST!

 

Because from my experience usually a guy who is interested WILL do/say something, even it took him days, weeks, months, or even YEARS to do so!

If I'm interested in a woman she knows. That's because I tell her by both my words and actions. BUT she has to be interested, too. If she is not interested (or pretends to not be interested), then I'm not going to waste my time pursuing her.

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I understsand that, and its your right.

 

But theres a huge difference between going for a guy because you value him, respect him, and like who he is as a person VS going for a guy just because he willing to sell himself out just to be with you, has no backbone, and does whatever you want.

 

A man who pursues does not equal a man with no backbone or sells himself out. He's a man who goes for what he wants. Pursuit does not equal doormat. It equals hunter :bunny:

 

You might have to date a man like that to understand. There's no telling him what to do. It's very attractive.

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Can you find one place on this whole forum where a girl says she wants to be with a guy because he is "willing to sell himself out, has no backbone and does whatever she wants"??? I don't think so!! A) because girls rarely like that so we won't be saying it, and 2) because USUALLY guys are moaning about how girls ONLY LIKE BAD BOYS!! :lmao::lmao: But now ... we only like pushovers!!! :laugh:

 

Huge difference between keeping your pride as a man and chasing a woman just to "qualify" to be worthy enough of her time. Chasing is stupid. Its simply a game that insecure immature women like to do to empower themselves and toy with a man so they can feed their ego.

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A man who pursues does not equal a man with no backbone or sells himself out. He's a man who goes for what he wants. Pursuit does not equal doormat. It equals hunter :bunny:

 

You might have to date a man like that to understand. There's no telling him what to do. It's very attractive.

 

I would never want a woman that has no say in my interaction with her. From what I can see, its no different than guys that "tell" a woman she needs to stay in the kitchen. Obviously too many women like that.

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BronzeAgeJaeger217
I def believe that if approaching a woman causes you bitterness and resentment, you SHOULD NOT DO IT. Nobody wants to spend any time at all with a bitter, resentful person. You'll be wasting your time. Your time would be better spent getting some professional help with this problem you have or else coming to peace with being alone. No relationship of any kind, even a one night stand, can be started with an attitude such as yours. :(:(

 

Yup, that's why I started a thread about it in August, that I never enjoyed being a hunter

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Rejected Rosebud
Yup, that's why I started a thread about it in August, that I never enjoyed being a hunter
ALL of us do many things we "don't enjoy" in order to reap some rewards we want. Evidently for us the rewards outweigh the unpleasantness. MOST of us don't moan and complain all the time about choosing to do so. If we DON'T choose to do so, we have no position for whining and complaining at all!!!
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ALL of us do many things we "don't enjoy" in order to reap some rewards we want. Evidently for us the rewards outweigh the unpleasantness. MOST of us don't moan and complain all the time about choosing to do so. If we DON'T choose to do so, we have no position for whining and complaining at all!!!

 

Thank you!!!

 

Like I enjoy having to get all dolled up and waste an evening on a "date" when I could have spent in front ot the TV with something good to eat/drink.

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Yup, that's why I started a thread about it in August, that I never enjoyed being a hunter

 

Then don't hunt.

 

I have to gon on OLD and send "Hi" messages and sit back and wait to see who responds. Do I enjoy it? No. But how else am I going to meet people? Through family, friends, workplace?

 

In life things don't come to us cuz we sit around and wait for it.

 

Do you have a job?

 

Ok, how did you get the job? Did you sit at home and the employer come and ask to hire you? Or did you go and apply for the job. Oh, how many jobs did you have to apply for, interviews go to, non-selection before you landed this one?

 

So add resentment towards having to "hunt" for a job to you list of unfairness in the cruel world we live in :rolleyes:

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We go for what we want :)

 

Exactly...

 

I was passed over for a lazy, ambitionless, dim, and overweight girl. A "3" if you will. When it comes to her, he PURSUED. He got down on one knee and asked her hand in marriage. He takes her to my favorite restaurants and he "treats" her/works to impress her all the time.

 

Me?

 

Dude can't even hold a one min convo with me. I've been the one PURSUING and all he does is stare at me, looks and runs away, and sometimes just is mean to me.

 

Men PURSUE what they want. PERIOD.

 

If a guy is sitting back waiting on the woman to show interest, make a move, then he's NOT INTERESTED.

 

I spent a year, showing INTEREST with this guy...tried to ask him out and he put up a wall that prevented me from even getting that sentence in...I told him personal stuff about me trying to get him to relax and not feel intimidated. I TRIED everything I could to reassure him that I'm interested and all I get are questions about if I'm into guys who look, dress, etc. Like him instead of him not "getting it" that I actually DO like him for him.

 

I mean, sometimes I feel like I have to pull out pictures of past guys I've dated to reassure him that I am into him. A few times I'd take pictures of CDs to "prove" that I'm into the music I tell him I'm into.

 

NOTHING I did/do reassures (ed) him where he'd have the courage to ask me out and/or accept an invite to simply have a coffe with me.

 

But Mrs. "3"?

 

He not only met her half way, but he PURSUED her. He does whatever she wants (shacking up, marriage, kids). Mind you, HE initiated contact with her and that's how they started dating. I won't say what/where he told her (to protect their privacy), but trust me, HE complimented her one day and that's how they started dating. Me? Not once has he complimented me...all he does is stare.

 

I say all this cuz this WHEN A GUY IS INTERESTED, he pursues. Oh, and if you're a 7 and he goes after a 3...THEN THAT'S WHAT HE'S INTERESTED IN!!!

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