"If a guy is interested....he WILL pursue..."

[WonderKid]

Nope...I don't find old, ugly and ESTABLISHED men attractive. No money can buy my love.

 

Just because a person is old doesn't mean they are ugly. Ugly is something inside. Don't knock it til you get there yourself.

And I said young established men too. Security and sustainability cannot buy you out? I guess you're different.

Edited November 21, 2015 by WonderKid

[anduina]

Has no one mentioned testosterone?

 

Normal Levels

 

Males: > or =19 years: 240-950 ng/dL

Females: > or =19 years: 8-60 ng/dL

 

Do you see the difference? This is why men are less risk averse, less empathetic, more aggressive, build more muscle and retain less body fat than women.

 

Why do you guys want women to act like men when we have so little of the androgen that makes men, men?

[katiegrl]

Thats all I'm saying, it should be equal effort on both sides.

 

I do have an issue with women that think a man isnt a man if he doesnt chase. It's called having pride. If you want to spend time with me you will run to me not away....and if you think running away is the right way to get a man to want you more than you are the one that has the issues, not the man.

 

Male I agree with you! If a woman is running away from you, DO NOT chase! Just stop doing it, and if you continue doing it, then that's on you.

 

Not all women demand or even want to be chased. I sure as hell never did!

 

Whenever I ran away from a guy, it meant I was NOT into him, period. So all chasing me accomplished was irritating me and eventually repulsing me. I know many women who would agree with me on that.

 

On the other hand, most women like a man to take the lead at first, which means he asks us out. That is NOT chasing, it's leading and the woman follows your lead and reciprocates.

 

If she is not reciprocating, stop dating her! The end.

 

You seem to have this pre-conceived notion that all women like or need to be chased. False!

 

Again, taking the lead and asking a chick out does not equal chasing, so please get that thiueght out of your head, it's false.

 

I will say though that if you find chicks are always wanting to run away from you instead of towards you .... you might want to explore the vibe you are projecting that is turning them off.

 

Cause they sure as hell aren't running away from you cause they want you to chase them. That is ludicrous.

 

Like sal said....it's a dance ...a beautiful dance. The man leads and the woman follows by reciprocating. If she is not, then the dance is off balance, and you move on.

 

Pretty simple actually.

 

Embrace the differences and enjoy the dance!

Edited November 21, 2015 by katiegrl

[sambolini]

Because women have more options like working and earning their own stuff, so they have no "need" to jump into relationships like back in the day where women needed a man's income.

 

So, they can be more picky. They have more power cuz unless all men are gonna become homosexual, they are gonna want women and are at women's mercy. There's a saying out there about how women, all women, determine how men will treat them. If she's in no rush to marry and a guy wants to get laid, he's gonna be a good little boy to get some.

 

Also, women are being told that doing anything like cooking, sexing, homemaker stuff, running a home is demeaning. So, if you do something nice for a man, you are a "submissive" - not a loving, caring partner....oh yeah, now everyone is a "partner".

 

So men are reduced to sperm donors, paychecks, and babysitters while women "do their thing". If you dare say something to her, no sex and/or divorce where women still get custody, support, etc most of the time.

 

Women know they have that power now a days, so they have a "take it or leave now a days".

 

I was watching Steve Harvey a bit today as I was busy around the house and this woman, who was attractive, got money and like she's got it going on just didn't get why she was having problems dating...mind you, she said she shouldn't be "judged" for who she is. Mind you, she has public Instagram pictures of her half naked on boats, beach, car, etc.

 

Oh yeah, they also are told you have no right to "shame" them. So, when they stop going to the gym and letting go of their looks, you are mean if you dare expect them to do something about it.

 

For the life of me, I don't find most women dateable now a days...if I were a man I'd just get what I can from them (money, companionship, sex) and move on to the next...or, I'd become homosexual.

 

I like you, Gloria.

 

This quite accurately sums it up. I have no interest in dating right now. There is one woman I get sex and companionship from sometimes, but that's it. She lives her life and I live mine.

 

I had that stereotypical ex wife. Didn't cook, clean, sex me up, and demanded everything. She's much nicer to me after I walked away, although it took her a few years to get there.

 

Even other women I've dated after her had a touch of "I'm the woman, I get what I want" mentality. With one exception. And that's the lady I choose to spend my time with.

 

I devote my time towards my career and making money, my daughter, and personal hobbies. Life is more rewarding that way. I can afford to be picky. I'm successful, good looking, and highly intelligent.

 

Our society doesn't dare ask a woman "What do you have to offer a man?" today. But more men are slowly starting to wake up to that idea.

[Gloria25]

I like you, Gloria.

 

This quite accurately sums it up. I have no interest in dating right now. There is one woman I get sex and companionship from sometimes, but that's it. She lives her life and I live mine.

 

I had that stereotypical ex wife. Didn't cook, clean, sex me up, and demanded everything. She's much nicer to me after I walked away, although it took her a few years to get there.

 

Even other women I've dated after her had a touch of "I'm the woman, I get what I want" mentality. With one exception. And that's the lady I choose to spend my time with.

 

I devote my time towards my career and making money, my daughter, and personal hobbies. Life is more rewarding that way. I can afford to be picky. I'm successful, good looking, and highly intelligent.

 

Our society doesn't dare ask a woman "What do you have to offer a man?" today. But more men are slowly starting to wake up to that idea.

 

Uh, can I clone you?!?

 

You're what I'm looking for...a "monogamous, long term RL". You do your thing, I do mine, but we go out, have fun, enjoy each other and don't have to have the "white picket fence" and/or tons of rugrats. You concentrate on your daughter and life and I concentrate on my life.

 

And I applaud you for standing up to these self-entitled bad women. Sad that there's so many of them out there now a days. Some men don't figure it out until after the ring and kids come along...cuz after they get what they want from the guy (his sperm and paycheck) she has no more use for him. Sad, just sad now a days.

[sambolini]

Uh, can I clone you?!?

 

You're what I'm looking for...a "monogamous, long term RL". You do your thing, I do mine, but we go out, have fun, enjoy each other and don't have to have the "white picket fence" and/or tons of rugrats. You concentrate on your daughter and life and I concentrate on my life.

 

And I applaud you for standing up to these self-entitled bad women. Sad that there's so many of them out there now a days. Some men don't figure it out until after the ring and kids come along...cuz after they get what they want from the guy (his sperm and paycheck) she has no more use for him. Sad, just sad now a days.

 

Well, sure. If you were in the PNW I'd offer to take you to my secret cloning facility where my faithful servant Igor would whip you up a clone.

 

Or a coffee date could work too, as long as you wouldn't mind trying out the original.

 

Thank you for your kind words. I don't want to give the impression that women are to blame for all dating woes; there are plenty of men here that make me shake my head. But as a guy, I can definitely relate to your post.

 

You get it. Can I clone you?

[Male]

Not all women demand or even want to be chased. I sure as hell never did!

 

 

On the other hand, most women like a man to take the lead at first, which means he asks us out. That is NOT chasing, it's leading and the woman follows your lead and reciprocates.

 

If she is not reciprocating, stop dating her! The end.

 

You seem to have this pre-conceived notion that all women like or need to be chased. False!

 

 

 

 

Not all women are like that....its not that black and white, because pretty much all women are never black and white with their communication or intentions.

 

The REAL problem when it comes to pursuing women or trying to get a date....is that from a guys point of view, its literally impossible to tell the difference between a woman that is interested but wants to be chased(plays hard to get) VS a woman that isnt interested but refuses to be straight up and tell him she doesnt want to see him anymore.

 

In both situations women will lie right to your face and beat around the bush, and you dont know if you shes one of those women that wants to see if you will chase her, or if shes hoping you "take the hint" and stop contacting her.

[shoplocal]

Exactly, go find a homely, overweight, low self-esteem woman who is just happy "anyone" gave her a compliment. And vola!!! No hunting, no effort, and she'll do all the work in the RL and/or meet you half way.

 

On ID they had this guy who was into mail order brides...cuz he was lazy and yet expected to snag a "10" without any effort on his part. The guy was short, bald, overweight too. Did he bother to go to the gym, get a job - in other words, make himself "dateable"?

 

Nah, his solution was to take advantage of mail order brides. He made them work while he stayed home, demand that in order for him to finish up their immigration paperwork they had to get pregnant for him. He "rented" out a room in his place to some guy and they'd just sit around all day while he collected the mail order bride's checks till they got tired and went back to their own countries.

 

Funny how some guys want women, but don't see how/why any effort is required on their end...and, when/if they're lucky enough to land the "babe" they so desired, they treat them like dirt.

 

Hey now! Just because a woman is fat and therefore conventionally unattractive, does not mean she has low self-esteem. I'm fat and a whole host of other things deemed ugly in America in 2015, but I love me and think I am fabulous -- because I am -- and would not settle for just anyone. (Which is why I am single, hah, among other reasons.) That 3 might have had her A-game on point, and that gentleman saw it and liked it and pursued her like the woman she's worth.

 

The mail order bride story is really sad. Aren't you glad that we don't have to sell ourselves to foreign men in foreign lands, in order to improve our lot in life?

[katiegrl]

Not all women are like that....its not that black and white, because pretty much all women are never black and white with their communication or intentions.

 

The REAL problem when it comes to pursuing women or trying to get a date....is that from a guys point of view, its literally impossible to tell the difference between a woman that is interested but wants to be chased(plays hard to get) VS a woman that isnt interested but refuses to be straight up and tell him she doesnt want to see him anymore.

 

In both situations women will lie right to your face and beat around the bush, and you dont know if you shes one of those women that wants to see if you will chase her, or if shes hoping you "take the hint" and stop contacting her.

 

Male, there is NO way on God's green earth that a woman who is truly interested in you is going to risk losing you by playing "hard to get." No friggin way!

 

So if she IS playing hard to get, then you can assume she is not interested and move on.

 

Such woman may want you to "chase" but it's not because her goal is to go out with you. She's playing a game, to boost her ego, for attention or whstevs but it is NOT because she is interested in you and wants to date you.

 

When a woman is interested in you, she WILL meet you halfway. She will NOT "play" hard to get or "play" anything.

 

Again, not a woman alive who is "truly interested* is going to RISK losing a man by requiring he chase her.

 

So...next time you encounter such a woman, no need to wrack your brain trying to figure out if she wants you to chase or just not interested.

 

In ALL cases, you assume she is NOT interested and you move on.

 

NEVER chase! Never ever. And if you do, then I am sorry but you have no one to blame but yourself.

 

Have some self-respect and focus only on those women who are truly interested in you and who indicate that by meeting you halfway and reciprocating.

 

As for the rest of them? Who cares, they are not interested in you. Period!

Edited November 21, 2015 by katiegrl

[xxoo]

Some guys take "chase" far too literally. You're not supposed to pursue a woman who is running away from you or trying to distance herself from you.

 

It's a playfully, incrementally closing the distance between you. She's not running into your arms, but she's drawing closer all the time as the sexual tension steadily simmers to a boil

[katiegrl]

Male, there is NO way on God's green earth that a woman who is truly interested in you is going to risk losing you by playing "hard to get." No friggin way!

 

So if she IS playing hard to get, then you can assume she is not interested and move on.

 

Such woman may want you to "chase" but it's not because her goal is to go out with you. She's playing a game, to boost her ego, for attention or whstevs but it is NOT because she is interested in you and wants to date you.

 

When a woman is interested in you, she WILL meet you halfway. She will NOT "play" hard to get or "play" anything.

 

Again, not a woman alive who is "truly interested* is going to RISK losing a man by requiring he chase her.

 

So...next time you encounter such a woman, no need to wrack your brain trying to figure out if she wants you to chase or just not interested.

 

In ALL cases, you assume she is NOT interested and you move on.

 

NEVER chase! Never ever. And if you do, then I am sorry but you have no one to blame but yourself.

 

Have some self-respect and focus only on those women who are truly interested in you and who indicate that by meeting you halfway and reciprocating.

 

As for the rest of them? Who cares, they are not interested in you. Period!

 

To add to this ^^ ..I do know of relationships where the woman was **not** initially interested, turned him down, etc ..... but the man persisted (okay, chased) and succeeded in getting the girl to " become " interested.

 

But such men are risk takers, supremely confident and do NOT fear rejection. As such, if they had not succeeded in changing her mind (and feelings) it would not have negatively affected them.

 

But still, the point is she was NOT initially interested. Again, woman who are interested will meet you halfway (in many instances more than halfway) and reciprocate ....AND initiate!

 

Edit: Great post xxoo!

Edited November 21, 2015 by katiegrl

[loveflower]

To add to this ^^ ..I do know of relationships where the woman was **not** initially interested, turned him down, etc ..... but the man persisted (okay, chased) and succeeded in getting the girl to " become " interested.

 

But such men are risk takers, supremely confident and do NOT fear rejection. As such, if they had not succeeded in changing her mind (and feelings) it would not have negatively affected them.

 

But still, the point is she was NOT initially interested. Again, woman who are interested will meet you halfway (in many instances more than halfway) and reciprocate ....AND initiate!

 

Edit: Great post xxoo!

 

oh, my ex-colleague told me she initially wasn't interested in her husband. she turned him down, and even fixed him up with her friend. but he told her he only interested in her and wanted to marry her on the first sign he saw her.

 

They are happily ever after now and deeply love each other. Last time I saw her she was pregnant with twins.

 

I suppose there are always exceptions to every situation?

[katiegrl]

oh, my ex-colleague told me she initially wasn't interested in her husband. she turned him down, and even fixed him up with her friend. but he told her he only interested in her and wanted to marry her on the first sign he saw her.

 

They are happily ever after now and deeply love each other. Last time I saw her she was pregnant with twins.

 

 

 

 

**I suppose there are always exceptions to every situation?**

 

Well no, the post the ^^ above was in response to my post saying exactly what you are saying here.

 

That there *are* cases where the woman was *not* initially interested but the man persisted and succeeded in changing her mind and feelings and she *became* interested.

 

That is exactly what the post you responded to said!

 

But again the point -- she was **not** initially interested!

 

Male seems to be under the mistaken assumption that a woman who IS interested wants him to *chase*.

 

No she may want him to chase but not because she is interested. She needs or ego boost or seeks attention.

 

Unless he is a risk taker, supremely confident and not attached to the outcome, he should just walk away IMO when he encounters such a woman.

[Rejected Rosebud]

The REAL problem when it comes to pursuing women or trying to get a date....is that from a guys point of view, its literally impossible to tell the difference between a woman that is interested but wants to be chased(plays hard to get) VS a woman that isnt interested but refuses to be straight up and tell him she doesnt want to see him anymore.

 

It's not as complicated and dire as you like to make it out to be. Just ask her out. If she says no, wait a while and try one more time if you feel that interested in her. If she says no again, believe her and forget it.

 

In general, if she actually IS interested she won't say no when you ask her out and if she does she might be a game player who you might want to stay away from anyway. You are shooting yourself in the foot with your stubborn insistence that most women are playing games in order to get ego boosts (or whatever it is you think ). You are wasting alot of time and also NOT getting to know about women at all.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Has no one mentioned testosterone?

 

Normal Levels

 

Males: > or =19 years: 240-950 ng/dL

Females: > or =19 years: 8-60 ng/dL

 

Do you see the difference? This is why men are less risk averse, less empathetic, more aggressive, build more muscle and retain less body fat than women.

 

Why do you guys want women to act like men when we have so little of the androgen that makes men, men?

 

some people say that mens testosterone levels have declined in this generation, the past 20-30 years

[ltjg45]

Find it hard to believe that you would get women interested in you by you doing that, how do you know women are interested in you since women generally will not approach or express interest in a guy first

 

For starters, I noticed that I do get a few women that actually tries to talk to me, which is something I am still not used to. Clearly, they have to be even mildly interested in me in some way for them to want to talk to someone that keeps to themselves.

 

Unfortunately, that doesn't last for long because my interests never do match up with the majority of people but it is a better alternative than making it a mission to approach women and getting a girlfriend without some desire to know her outside of her looks.

 

In fact, the last part is yet another reason why I only approached 1 or 2 women this year. The overwhelming majority of women just talks about things that I have no interest in and that just doesn't match.

[loveflower]

Has no one mentioned testosterone?

 

Normal Levels

 

Males: > or =19 years: 240-950 ng/dL

Females: > or =19 years: 8-60 ng/dL

 

Do you see the difference? This is why men are less risk averse, less empathetic, more aggressive, build more muscle and retain less body fat than women.

 

Why do you guys want women to act like men when we have so little of the androgen that makes men, men?

 

THIS! Nailed it. Answered this thread.

[Imajerk17]

Well no, the post the ^^ above was in response to my post saying exactly what you are saying here.

 

That there *are* cases where the woman was *not* initially interested but the man persisted and succeeded in changing her mind and feelings and she *became* interested.

 

That is exactly what the post you responded to said!

 

But again the point -- she was **not** initially interested!

 

Male seems to be under the mistaken assumption that a woman who IS interested wants him to *chase*.

 

No she may want him to chase but not because she is interested. She needs or ego boost or seeks attention.

 

Unless he is a risk taker, supremely confident and not attached to the outcome, he should just walk away IMO when he encounters such a woman.

 

Absolutely. My grandfather asked my grandmother out 9 times before she said yes. They were together 73 years, until death indeed did them part.

 

However, I do think that, in all cases where persistence won out, there was still *some* line of communication open. If a woman won't interact with you in any way shape or form (by 'you' I am referring to a guy reading this), then it is probably Game Over.

[loveflower]

Well no, the post the ^^ above was in response to my post saying exactly what you are saying here.

 

That there *are* cases where the woman was *not* initially interested but the man persisted and succeeded in changing her mind and feelings and she *became* interested.

 

That is exactly what the post you responded to said!

 

But again the point -- she was **not** initially interested!

 

Male seems to be under the mistaken assumption that a woman who IS interested wants him to *chase*.

 

No she may want him to chase but not because she is interested. She needs or ego boost or seeks attention.

 

Unless he is a risk taker, supremely confident and not attached to the outcome, he should just walk away IMO when he encounters such a woman.

 

Sorry. I realized that after I posted. I just left it anyway, as it became not contrasting but emphasizing what you said.

[loveflower]

Absolutely. My grandfather asked my grandmother out 9 times before she said yes. They were together 73 years, until death indeed did them part.

 

 

Prove if a confident man really wants something, he will go get it no matter what.

 

a few men left me the impression that they might like me, but they never did anything concrete...sigh...I have been blaming myself being dumb and not showing interest....but I guess I can just take that as not interest enough and leave them at that.

[katiegrl]

Absolutely. My grandfather asked my grandmother out 9 times before she said yes. They were together 73 years, until death indeed did them part.

 

However, I do think that, in all cases where persistence won out, there was still *some* line of communication open. If a woman won't interact with you in any way shape or form (by 'you' I am referring to a guy reading this), then it is probably Game Over.

 

Awww ...that is so sweet! Things were so much easier back in the day. And done differently too! But nevertheless .... still very sweet ... may they RIP.

 

Completely agree with your second paragraph....

 

Point being if a woman is *running away* from a guy (ignoring, cold, indifferent), she's not interested. Persistence (chasing) in that case will accomplish nothing except annoy and repulse.

 

However, if there is still communication, perhaps even a little flirting, then she could be shy, recovering from a previous RL or any other number of things that indicate she's not ready ...to date you or any man at that point in time.

 

But if a man (like lmajetk's grandad) is adamant and PATIENT ... AND confident, and not overly attached to the outcome ... he could possibly succeed in changing her mind (and heart) eventually. As lmajetk's grandad did!

 

Things "were" done a bit differently back in that day though, but that could still work today if *done* right ....without attitude!

Edited November 21, 2015 by katiegrl

[Male]

Prove if a confident man really wants something, he will go get it no matter what.

 

Theres many men that will chase a woman because they wont take "no" for an answer. It has nothing to do with confidence. Its borderline stalking, and some women find it attractive for some strange reason.

 

a few men left me the impression that they might like me, but they never did anything concrete...sigh...I have been blaming myself being dumb and not showing interest....but I guess I can just take that as not interest enough and leave them at that.

 

Jim puts in 70% interest in trying to get a date with Jane, because he doesnt want to seem too overbearing...

 

Jane takes it that 70% isnt "enough" interest from her point of view, so she waits to see more....

 

Jim waits to see a reaction back from Jane but doesnt, so he assume she isnt interested...

 

Both are a product of following the ever popular unwritten game playing rules because its looked down upon to actually f'n communicate and show real interest.

 

I blame women mostly, because they are the ones that "judge" if a guy shows too much interest, and belittle men for it. On forums and in real life many women talk about losing interest if a guy "tries too hard" or is "always available.

 

Damned if you do damned if you dont

 

 

 

 

Male, there is NO way on God's green earth that a woman who is truly interested in you is going to risk losing you by playing "hard to get." No friggin way!

 

Disagree 100%

 

Theres tons of women that play hard to get and they are still interested in the guy. They play hard to get because they think it proves "how much" he is interested.

 

Woman A wants to see 50% effort from a guy

 

Woman B wants to see 70% effort from a guy

 

Woman C wants to see 80% effort from a guy

 

Each woman has her own personal preference, but they all still have that line where they deem a guy isnt putting in enough effort.....so the same guy can put in the same amount of effort trying to get a date with each woman, but each woman will judge his approach differently depending on what she deems worthy.

 

Most women love to hold back showing any true interest until a guy does. Women hate hate hate putting themselves out there and then looking like a fool if the feeling isnt mutual. Thats part of the reason they like to be chased, they want to make triple sure the guy is interested, so each woman may have a different number of hoops for a guy to jump through to "prove" to her he's interested.

[ltjg45]

Prove if a confident man really wants something, he will go get it no matter what.

 

a few men left me the impression that they might like me, but they never did anything concrete...sigh...I have been blaming myself being dumb and not showing interest....but I guess I can just take that as not interest enough and leave them at that.

 

Well, the real question is whether or not you actually showed them any interest?

 

For example, if a woman has the door to her heart locked, I am not the kind of man that would attempt to break it down. However, if it just closed, I would be interested enough to slowly open it and if the response is positive, walk in.

 

So I disagree that a confident man will eventually get what he wants. Perhaps if he keeps his options open and focus on the women that shows the most interest back at him and that she meets what he wants from a woman but he certainly won't get the woman that he initially pinned for unless she returned the favor.

[katiegrl]

Well, the real question is whether or not you actually showed them any interest?

 

For example, if a woman has the door to her heart locked, I am not the kind of man that would attempt to break it down. However, if it just closed, I would be interested enough to slowly open it and if the response is positive, walk in.

 

 

 

**So I disagree that a confident man will eventually get what he wants.***

 

 

 

Perhaps if he keeps his options open and focus on the women that shows the most interest back at him and that she meets what he wants from a woman but he certainly won't get the woman that he initially pinned for unless she returned the favor.

 

ltjg, loveflower did not say a confident man eventually gets what he wants.

 

She said a confident man will *go after* what he wants. That's how I interpreted it anyway.

 

Doesn't guarantee he will get it .... only that he is confident enough to go after it.

 

Which is true in many cases. May turn out to be a futile waste of energy, but hell I suppose he's thinking nothing ventured nothing gained.

 

As long as he doesn't become bitter and jaded when or if he gets rejected, it's cool.

 

However IMO ... he should still focus on only those women who show interest though .... In some form or another anyway.

[Gloria25]

Prove if a confident man really wants something, he will go get it no matter what.

 

a few men left me the impression that they might like me, but they never did anything concrete...sigh...I have been blaming myself being dumb and not showing interest....but I guess I can just take that as not interest enough and leave them at that.

 

Yep, and without me doing my long rant about my particular situation - dude did what he had to do to pursue another chick besides me. So at the end of the day, he was more interested in her PERIOD.

 

And yes, for a year I jumped through hoops trying this/that thinking I needed to do more and/or do this/that - when at the end of the day is he felt/feels more "comfortable" with her, was more interested than her, HENCE, he PURSUED her. He didn't make her do a darn thing. And she still just sits on her fat duff and twirls and he keeps on doing what he does to make her happy. HE WANTS HER...PERIOD - NOT ME.

 

So, I call "bull" on thinking that a guy is being "burdened" on having to make a move and that women should be more understanding. Cuz when a man finds a woman he WANTS, he gets off his duff and PURSUES HER...PERIOD.

 

And please note that while this same guy may be confident with his willingness to pursue one woman - he will not be with another...PERIOD. So, a guy pursuing a woman doesn't mean he's a confident man - it means he found a woman whom HE FEELS CONFIDENT WITH. So, if a guy pursues "3s", its cuz he believes he can strike gold with a three - he's "confident" with a "3". Put him in front of a "5" and he'll shut down.

 

A "real" confident man pursues "3s", "4s", "5s"......even "11s" cuz he doesn't limit himself.