Kristine Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 I started anti-depressants 2 days ago. I'm dealing with deep sadness and anxiety. I started a job last week, divorce papers served yesterday. It hurts so much to love someone who married me only to get at a potential inheritance. He coerced and manipulated me, I feel like the whole relationship was a lie on his part. I know I was warned, believe me I know. But loving someone, I felt was so rare that it was worth trying. He hid so much information from me. I did see red flags, I guess running wasn't something I wanted to do. I was hopful. He killed my hopeful spirit. I'm in deep despair, and no one wants to hear it, or understand it. My doc wanted to hospitalize me, but I mentioned the new job, so he said he'd start meds, but only give enough to get to my psychiatric appointment. Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 Gosh, your having a very tough time, so sorry. Firstly you do have a right to be angry and to feel betrayed. When my ex told me it was over last January i went through all these emotions and obsessing over all her motivations and thinking all the worst things she was doing et etc. But the more i kept thinking all the negative thoughts, the more it dragged me down to such a dark place. Regardless what were her motivations, true or false, its all irrelevant, I realized i have to stop thinking about it all the time because it not good for me. I do still allow myself to think negative thoughts, because that is part of the healing process, the trick is to limit the amount of time i spend doing it! It helped me allot to get on a dating site and use that as a distraction... but i did not use any 'people' as a distraction, i was up front about my situation. Also listening to this song helped me allot too; Anyway by Martina McBride Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kristine Posted November 4, 2015 Author Share Posted November 4, 2015 Thanks. I actually feel better. I happened upon prayers of deliverance. I feel just better. God reaches out any way possible. I rejoined my songwriting group. I'm just feeling like a new person really. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Glitters Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 (( )) You need to think positive. Its not easy.I've been through it , some 10 years ago.I felt betrayed the least . The entire process takes time. You will want to stop feeling the way you are.That will only prolong it. Be kind to yourself. That is the first step. Be gentle towards you.The grieving process ( I remember I hated it when people told me ! ) will take its own course but each day you become stronger. Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Thanks. I actually feel better. I happened upon prayers of deliverance. I feel just better. God reaches out any way possible. I rejoined my songwriting group. I'm just feeling like a new person really. You will feel much better here and there, then you will go down again here and there, like being on a roller coaster ride. But as time goes by the high moments will start lasting longer and the down moments shorter 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kristine Posted November 5, 2015 Author Share Posted November 5, 2015 You will feel much better here and there, then you will go down again here and there, like being on a roller coaster ride. But as time goes by the high moments will start lasting longer and the down moments shorter Glad to hear it, it is exactly true. He called today, his new number, I hung up, shut my phone off because it was constant. Now I'm angry, upset, and just not doing well. He was notified of court date, I have not been. He wants to refile as joint. Sign and be done. I want it done myself but I hesitate because I don't trust him. I've contact a lawyer. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 Glad to hear it, it is exactly true. He called today, his new number, I hung up, shut my phone off because it was constant. Now I'm angry, upset, and just not doing well. He was notified of court date, I have not been. He wants to refile as joint. Sign and be done. I want it done myself but I hesitate because I don't trust him. I've contact a lawyer. My ex moved out last January after informing me the marriage is over. At first she is talking about being friends and having amicable co-parenting relationship. It was hard but things seemed to be going well for a little while, but then the bombshell dropped.... she refused to allow our 3 year old daughter to have any overnight stay. And the poor girl doesn't understand why she cannot stay at home anymore, it was so sad, and such a shock. So we have been in and out of mediation and gotten agreements and i think everything is going well, and i start feeling better and moving on with my life, then my ex turns around and refuses custody again for all the nonsensical reasons she can think of. So i am going up and down on the roller coaster, and still don't know what will happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kristine Posted November 9, 2015 Author Share Posted November 9, 2015 Fight for your daughter, call the court if finalized, she would be in contempt. Get a lawyer if not. She needs her dad. Fight fight fight! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 Fight for your daughter, call the court if finalized, she would be in contempt. Get a lawyer if not. She needs her dad. Fight fight fight! Thanks for that,,, my problem is that i should have been far more insistent right at the start,, i allowed my ex to get established in her position of having that mindset of being 'the' parent. But what also scares me is my own feeling.... i feel like i have gone through a 'grieving' period of losing my daughter even though i have not really lost her, and now i don't feel like a father anymore, just an occasional baby sitter. It scares me that i am ready to move on without my daughter in my life. But I'm just putting it down to one of the many childish feelings that i can add to the list and put it in the folder labeled "feelings that don't bring any benefit" lol Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 Quote - "But what also scares me is my own feeling.... i feel like i have gone through a 'grieving' period of losing my daughter even though i have not really lost her, and now i don't feel like a father anymore, just an occasional baby sitter. It scares me that i am ready to move on without my daughter in my life. " No! You don't get to do that! You're a FATHER & that doesn't change no matter how bad you hurt or how hard your life is. That little girl will still be your daughter when she's old & gray. You are making choices now which will have a HUGE effect on her life. YOU have her emotional future happiness in your hands. DON'T SCREW-UP!!!! Fight for every moment you can spend with your daughter. Laugh. Play. Snuggle & talk & read. Be her DADDY!!! You will NEVER be able to move on without your daughter in your life. Your baby isn't gong to suddenly cease to exist if you leave. She WILL spend the rest of her life trying to understand why she wasn't 'worth it' to you. Why she wasn't loved by her Daddy enough for him to bother. PLEASE don't lie to yourself about this. Please! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 Quote - "But what also scares me is my own feeling.... i feel like i have gone through a 'grieving' period of losing my daughter even though i have not really lost her, and now i don't feel like a father anymore, just an occasional baby sitter. It scares me that i am ready to move on without my daughter in my life. " No! You don't get to do that! You're a FATHER & that doesn't change no matter how bad you hurt or how hard your life is. That little girl will still be your daughter when she's old & gray. You are making choices now which will have a HUGE effect on her life. YOU have her emotional future happiness in your hands. DON'T SCREW-UP!!!! Fight for every moment you can spend with your daughter. Laugh. Play. Snuggle & talk & read. Be her DADDY!!! You will NEVER be able to move on without your daughter in your life. Your baby isn't gong to suddenly cease to exist if you leave. She WILL spend the rest of her life trying to understand why she wasn't 'worth it' to you. Why she wasn't loved by her Daddy enough for him to bother. PLEASE don't lie to yourself about this. Please! That is almost exactly what my mom says to me! And of course i agree. I have all the petty selfish, destructive feelings, and although i chose not to act on those feelings i still wonder if it just means i am a crappy person and i should not kid myself? Link to post Share on other sites
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