JadenLove Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 I read on here sometimes separations can drag on for years for the final piece of paper, one person made the comment why to put your life on hold for a piece of paper. I gave her the option last year to just come home and we will start over financially. I didn't want her to do the biz but she said she's going to do it with me or without me. Wifey has already told me to go see someone else, she's quite content living by herself. After stealing ten's of thousands of dollars from me and lying about her goings on, she thinks she has done nothing wrong and seemingly has no sense of repentance. Continues to verbally bash me at every chance. She wants me out of the marriage because I didn't help out around the house enough nor gave her enough attention. I believe her floundering business (for 5 years) trying to have a family were too much to juggle. She also seems to have some sort of developing mental illness but she says she is only depressed. I buy groceries because she can't be trusted with a dollar, do my own laundry cook my own meals because she says she is not my maid. We still live under the same roof in different spots in the house although she has moved almost everything out of the house that I have into the garage without my consent, she now wants the whole garage for her business. I now sleep on the couch and have my clothes stacked in the half bathroom because the rest of the house looks like an episode of "Hoarders" I"m essentially a room mate in my own house, I pay all the bills, and feel like I'm living in a cardboard box. She dictates do this do that, she says if I cooperate she won't go to the courts and try to take me to the cleaners. I work ten hours days and don't go out, thinking I need to get out more. If I could, would like to move out if I can afford it. I feel I can't stay in this for too much longer as I'm losing myself. She has told me publicly for go find someone else to be with, she doesn't care, She is waiting for the year to be up, it's been five months now. Some guys I know got raped financially courtwise standing up to their wives so I thought I'd be passive until I better know Canadian Divorce law and what moves to do. I know it's usually in the woman's favor but I'm hearing laws are slowly changing more towards the 50/50. She also threatened if I moved out she was going to demand $1600.00 a month for childcare even though she already has the kids during the day + I would have to continue to pay all the bills in the house because her business doesn't make any money. I cannot afford to move out based on that last additional $1600.00 I would like to avoid the use of lawyers and perhaps get her to sign off into a written agreement on a good day. I know I shouldn't be held hostage but I'm not sure how to proceed. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 See a lawyer and file for divorce ASAP. Seeing a lawyer does not necessarily mean you will go through a court battle. A lawyer simply gives you legal advice. And legal advice is exactly what you need right now. Many will do a free initial half-hour consultation so you lose nothing. But you stand to gain a whole lot of information. Information is power. You need to get powered up! If you know where you stand, and know what a likely outcome of divorce will be, then you can tell your wife to get stuffed. Do not take legal advice form your wife, the internet, or random other guys whose circumstances are totally different from yours! Each case is different and very much depends on the individual facts and figures. See a professional!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Glitters Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 You are trying a DIY divorce. You will end up in a much more messier state as you are in now. Get a good lawyer,file and put those brakes where they are needed Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 How many bedrooms does the house have? Try and get one room in the house and put a lock on it. Protect your assets How did it get to the state where she disrespects you this much? For your own sanity - you need to get away from her. Put your stuff in storage and see if you can agree on a financial one time settlement. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JadenLove Posted November 6, 2015 Author Share Posted November 6, 2015 How many bedrooms does the house have? Try and get one room in the house and put a lock on it. Protect your assets How did it get to the state where she disrespects you this much? For your own sanity - you need to get away from her. Put your stuff in storage and see if you can agree on a financial one time settlement. Thanks for feedback Sandy, Yes I have heard one time settlement before is good idea. She grew distant, stopped doing laundry cooking etc ( I think more mental disorder of some kind) Says I didn't help out enough around the house and not enough attention, which I agree but seems shallow for wanting to dump a sole provider. There is spare room but she has mor eof her business stuff in there. She wants me to pay for storage for my stuff in garage so she can have whole garage and let me sleep in the spare room. I have my important things already secure but she wants me to pay for babysitting $1600.00 a month if I move out and pay for all the normal bills, about $2500.00 a month. I work seasonal and now I'm about to get laid off for three months, I have money saved but $4100.00 a month and she pays nothing even though she will be working new job and have a her own business is a disgrace whether the courts say it's okay or not. Link to post Share on other sites
loveboid Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 You need to cut your expenses now. You need a record of all of your finances. Don't let her tell the judge what you make. Have records of all of your pay and all of your expenses. You can stay in the home to give yourself a chance at 50/50 custody. Leaving the home and the kids could make the judge's decision easier in deciding who has more interest in taking care of the kids. Educating yourself is smart. Talk to a few lawyers. They give a free consultation. Find one you like. Find a mediator. Figure out what the law says and don't budge one penny over. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Yes I have heard one time settlement before is good idea. It is the Holy Grail for most divorces but it's unlikely if she has no income and you have kids. she wants me to pay for babysitting $1600.00 a month if I move out and pay for all the normal bills, about $2500.00 a month. SEE A LAWYER, find out where you stand legally, and then tell her to GET STUFFED. She can ask for the moon if she likes, it doesn't mean you have to give it to her. $4100.00 a month and she pays nothing even though she will be working new job and have a her own business is a disgrace whether the courts say it's okay or not. No court would ever say that is OK. SEE A LAWYER and they will confirm this for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Depends on the status of the house. Free & clear or heavily mortgaged? Link to post Share on other sites
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