Experiences with therapy

[camillalev]

Despite making Improvements in my life I'm still feeling very depressed and anxious. In fact I think my anxiety is getting worse, to the point where it is interfering with my life. I'm considering going to therapy and wanted to hear some of your experiences with it. Did you feel like it helped? Did you do a specific type of therapy or take any medication?

[Michelle ma Belle]

YES!

 

Again, I'm a huge advocate for therapy but like most things in life you need to find the right fit for you. Not all therapist are created equal. Finding a good therapist is a lot like finding a good partner, it takes time and you need to feel a connection with them in order to get the most out of your appointments. So many people who try therapy for the first time and have a bad experience give up and blame therapy as a whole rather than the therapist. Sometimes you gotta shop around.

 

I've seen my therapist off and on for the past 15 years and can honestly tell you that I credit her with helping me become the person I am today. My therapist is a MSW, RSW and isn't licensed to prescribe meds. I have been on anti-depressants for a short while but haven't had the need to be on anything in over 10+ years now. Meds aren't always the best resolution so be careful of anyone pushing them on you.

 

Do your research. Ask around. Don't be afraid to jump around until you find someone who feels right for YOU.

 

And just remember that therapy ONLY works if YOU work it. There is no magic pill. It takes hard work and you need to be open and willing otherwise you might as well light your cash on fire.

 

Good luck.

[ManyDissapoint]

YES!

 

Again, I'm a huge advocate for therapy but like most things in life you need to find the right fit for you. Not all therapist are created equal. Finding a good therapist is a lot like finding a good partner, it takes time and you need to feel a connection with them in order to get the most out of your appointments. So many people who try therapy for the first time and have a bad experience give up and blame therapy as a whole rather than the therapist. Sometimes you gotta shop around.

 

I've seen my therapist off and on for the past 15 years and can honestly tell you that I credit her with helping me become the person I am today. My therapist is a MSW, RSW and isn't licensed to prescribe meds. I have been on anti-depressants for a short while but haven't had the need to be on anything in over 10+ years now. Meds aren't always the best resolution so be careful of anyone pushing them on you.

 

Do your research. Ask around. Don't be afraid to jump around until you find someone who feels right for YOU.

 

And just remember that therapy ONLY works if YOU work it. There is no magic pill. It takes hard work and you need to be open and willing otherwise you might as well light your cash on fire.

 

Good luck.

 

Do you have any tips on how to tell if your therapist would be a good fit?

[truthtripper]

I've seen about 20 therapists over about 20 years. Only one of them maintained a professional standard of service. I have found through bitter experience that most therapists despite their training, are judgemental and patronising. It is also obvious that they haven't really worked on their own problems and will project them onto clients. A good psychochologist needs to have a high level of self-understanding and self-awareness. Most therapists are also not engaging enough, they tend to put up a wall of protection between themselves and the client to avoid being vicariously traumatised by the client.

 

Try to find a therapist who has a qualification in social work. They are trained in a more holistic way and have to work on themselves as part of their assessment, hence they treat the client as a person and not like a specimen under a microscope. The therapist who was of most help to me was a social worker, whereas the rest of them had straight psychology/counselling degrees.

 

Another helpful therapy is feldenkrais or mind/body connection therapy. It helps the client to gain control over their mind/body through body movements which heighten self-awareness. I have been attending group sessions for about 5 years now. They are very useful for people with uncontrollable anxiety/dissociation, such as myself. I have much more control over my anxiety than before I started the sessions. Private feldenkrais consultation which lasts about an hour, is also amazing. It puts you back into you body, it "brings you home", so to speak.

[truthtripper]

Do you have any tips on how to tell if your therapist would be a good fit?

A therapist who is a good fit for anyone, is a therapist who can empower their clients, is non-judgemental and compassionate and does not take an authoritative position. Beware, as many therapists subconsciously manipulate their clients to empower themselves.

[d0nnivain]

My first therapist sucked. His methodology just wasn't for me. I quit after a few sessions.

 

 

Then I asked around for recommendations & really looked into the schools of thought employed by various therapists I encountered. I interviewed them the 1st session to determine if I felt like Eventually I found 2 good ones. They really helped. I was able to talk about issues. They helped me focus. I want my current one to give me more concrete exercises / things to do / coping tools but I generally find him insightful.

 

 

Like any other professional you hire, if you don't feel comfortable, get another one

[absoulutelyanna]

I'm a huge proponent of therapy. My background is in psychology, and one day I plan on doing my MA in counselling. I've seen several therapists. Some are better listeners than others, so you definitely have to look around and figure out who is best for you. A couple years ago I was dealing with super deep issues that I faced as a child, and I saw two therapists. Those issues were causing me so much anxiety and depression that I just knew I had to find a way to deal with them. When I first went in literally all I could do was cry. I couldn't even get a word out. But, after a couple of weeks and months, I was able to communicate feelings that I was never able to get out before. I started to see a transformation in me. I gained confidence that I had lost for a long time. All in all, it was totally worth it.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Do you have any tips on how to tell if your therapist would be a good fit?

 

I will agree with truthtripper about considering a professional with a social worker background might be ideal. My therapist has one and although she specializes in trauma and uses many different techniques to help her patients, her approach is very holistic. She is a Buddhist and her energy is incredibly calming. No matter what's happening in my life that day, week or month, I'm immediately at ease when I enter her office.

 

I've tried many different things including feldenkrais. For ME, feldenkrais did nothing but have heard of people who've had great success with it. Some of the techniques I've used over the years have been EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing). In the last 5+ years I've been focusing more on journaling, art therapy, meditation, hypnosis, yoga, tai chi and breath work. All of which have helped tremendously with any anxiety and stress I've had.

 

As for tips on how to find your match in a therapist? It's a bit of trial and error unfortunately but here some things to consider;

 

1. Ask friends and family - Ask friends who are in therapy if they like their therapist. If they do, find out what it is they like about them.

 

If none of your friends are in therapy or if they tell you that they don't like their therapist and how they keep going just because they don't want to hurt the therapist's feelings, it is best to get a referral elsewhere. Google search therapists in your area. That being said, you DO NOT want a therapist who is convenient. You want a therapist who is good. Good and convenient do not often go hand in hand. I could have a therapist that is only five minutes from my house but I believe Igor is worth the hour drive. And, I find the 60-minute drive home to be an important time to process my feelings.

 

2. Ask your medical doctor - I was introduced to my fabulous therapist by my medical doctor. Who better to help guide you in a direction than your family doctor? Be sure to explain your symptoms and what it is you'd like to achieve and see what they recommend.

 

3. Shop online - Although I haven't found a clinical therapist online I have found many other holistic practitioners who've been wonderful. When therapist shopping I would steer clear of therapists who are over selling themselves and focus on ones who seem to be trying to tell you about their work and their philosophy of working with patients.

 

4. A picture tells a story - I know this may sound odd but trust me on this! If a prospective therapist has a website, be sure to take a look at their pictures. Red flags for ME are therapists who seem to be using a lot of glamour shots or whose portraits seem in any way inappropriate or unprofessional given the field they

 

5. Gender- I think that when choosing a therapist, almost all people have an instinctive hit on gender they would prefer to work with. Again, for ME, my preference in most things personal and sensitive is female. I don't think there is a right or wrong when it comes to choosing which gender you prefer to work with. However, I think it can be clinically valuable to notice which gender you absolutely wouldn't want to work with.

 

6. Theoretical orientation - This one is REALLY tricky. There are many theoretical orientations and I certainly cannot explain them all in one single post. Here is what I can say in a huge and gross oversimplification:

 

* If you believe there is an unconscious motivation for your behavior, you might want to go to a psychodynamic therapist.

 

* If you want to change your thoughts and you think doing that will change your life and you don't believe in an unconscious---then you might want a cognitive therapist.

 

* If you don't ever want to talk about mom and dad and you only want the here and now then maybe narrative, behavioral, or solution-oriented therapies are something to consider.

 

* If you want to work on your family and not on just you then maybe family-oriented system therapists.

 

And on and on. Again, this is an enormous oversimplification which is why you need to test run a few therapist before you can figure what works best for you.

 

7. Call them - When you find a therapist don't be afraid to call them! Some questions to consider would be;

 

* What is their specialty? I tend to be wary of people who specialize in EVERYTHING. One can't be all things to all people. Typically therapist have one or two focuses.

 

*Have they worked with people with your issues? Share a little on the phone about your issues and see how the therapist responds.

 

* What is their training? If they say they are trained, find out if it was a one day seminar in EMDR and/or if they took a three-hour online course in psychoanalysis, etc., If they call themselves an expert in a modality after such a short training I would likely hang up and move on to someone with a little more experience.

 

* Are they licensed? If they say that they are, I would still look up their license and make sure. There have been cases of people practicing with them which can be dangerous. Once you are sure that they actually have a license, I would also look on the state licensing boards (or equivalent depending on where you live) to see if there are any infractions against them.

 

Before I set up the appointment, I would find out their fee and discuss if you need sliding scale or if you are planning on using insurance. If you like everything about them but their rate and is more than you can manage, I would tell them that. If they can slide no lower, then I would ask for referrals. They might know someone who works like they do at a lower fee. That said, cheap is not always better.

 

8. Take Notice - REALLY IMPORTANT. Notice how you feel on the phone with the therapist. You may not feel a resounding YES immediately if only because your nervous and the whole thing can feel a bit weird and awkward but your gut is powerful nonetheless. Depending on the tone of their voice, how they respond to your questions and your issues it may be quite telling. Let your gut guide you in choosing who to book for an appointment.

 

On your first appointment, again, continue taking notice regarding how you feel when you are in the room with them. Do you feel heard when you speak? Notice how you feel in that person's presence. Notice everything. You might not know on the first session if the therapist is for you (usually takes at least 3-4 sessions). If you decide that it isn't a good match, then you don't need to come back. There is NO OBLIGATION. If that's the case, it's best to tell the therapist what it is you're looking for and why he/she isn't the best fit for you, as the therapist might have some ideas for a referral that would work for you. And sometimes that desire to not come back is motivated by some more unconscious anxieties about being in therapy. Best to discuss those, too.

 

And finally, the bottom line is therapy is VERY personal and what works for one may not work for another. There is no shame in trying different approaches, dismissing ones that don't feel right and embracing ones that do and that includes therapists themselves.

 

One thing is for sure, you'll never go wrong by being proactive regarding your mental health.

 

Good luck!

[camillalev]

Thanks everyone for the replies! This helps a lot and I will keep the advice on here in mind when looking for a therapist.

[Miss Peach]

I never did too well with therapy and didn't want to take the time off work and the costs to find better therapists. I tried probably about 5 before I gave up.

 

For me I love reading and analyzing so I did well with self help type books, journals, feelings diaries, etc.

 

I think it depends too on why you are entering. For me I tried to go to get over my divorce and understand why I chose that relationship. It was a difficult time period but hardly life or death. Personally speaking I am pretty self motivated and don't always want someone holding my hand. I've noticed a lot of people are not like me so it may be wise to look for someone if you need or want that and hadn't been able to resolve the issue on your own in a reasonable time frame.

[HeartDesires]

I will agree with truthtripper about considering a professional with a social worker background might be ideal. My therapist has one and although she specializes in trauma and uses many different techniques to help her patients, her approach is very holistic. She is a Buddhist and her energy is incredibly calming. No matter what's happening in my life that day, week or month, I'm immediately at ease when I enter her office.

 

I've tried many different things including feldenkrais. For ME, feldenkrais did nothing but have heard of people who've had great success with it. Some of the techniques I've used over the years have been EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing). In the last 5+ years I've been focusing more on journaling, art therapy, meditation, hypnosis, yoga, tai chi and breath work. All of which have helped tremendously with any anxiety and stress I've had.

 

As for tips on how to find your match in a therapist? It's a bit of trial and error unfortunately but here some things to consider;

 

1. Ask friends and family - Ask friends who are in therapy if they like their therapist. If they do, find out what it is they like about them.

 

If none of your friends are in therapy or if they tell you that they don't like their therapist and how they keep going just because they don't want to hurt the therapist's feelings, it is best to get a referral elsewhere. Google search therapists in your area. That being said, you DO NOT want a therapist who is convenient. You want a therapist who is good. Good and convenient do not often go hand in hand. I could have a therapist that is only five minutes from my house but I believe Igor is worth the hour drive. And, I find the 60-minute drive home to be an important time to process my feelings.

 

2. Ask your medical doctor - I was introduced to my fabulous therapist by my medical doctor. Who better to help guide you in a direction than your family doctor? Be sure to explain your symptoms and what it is you'd like to achieve and see what they recommend.

 

3. Shop online - Although I haven't found a clinical therapist online I have found many other holistic practitioners who've been wonderful. When therapist shopping I would steer clear of therapists who are over selling themselves and focus on ones who seem to be trying to tell you about their work and their philosophy of working with patients.

 

4. A picture tells a story - I know this may sound odd but trust me on this! If a prospective therapist has a website, be sure to take a look at their pictures. Red flags for ME are therapists who seem to be using a lot of glamour shots or whose portraits seem in any way inappropriate or unprofessional given the field they

 

5. Gender- I think that when choosing a therapist, almost all people have an instinctive hit on gender they would prefer to work with. Again, for ME, my preference in most things personal and sensitive is female. I don't think there is a right or wrong when it comes to choosing which gender you prefer to work with. However, I think it can be clinically valuable to notice which gender you absolutely wouldn't want to work with.

 

6. Theoretical orientation - This one is REALLY tricky. There are many theoretical orientations and I certainly cannot explain them all in one single post. Here is what I can say in a huge and gross oversimplification:

 

* If you believe there is an unconscious motivation for your behavior, you might want to go to a psychodynamic therapist.

 

* If you want to change your thoughts and you think doing that will change your life and you don't believe in an unconscious---then you might want a cognitive therapist.

 

* If you don't ever want to talk about mom and dad and you only want the here and now then maybe narrative, behavioral, or solution-oriented therapies are something to consider.

 

* If you want to work on your family and not on just you then maybe family-oriented system therapists.

 

And on and on. Again, this is an enormous oversimplification which is why you need to test run a few therapist before you can figure what works best for you.

 

7. Call them - When you find a therapist don't be afraid to call them! Some questions to consider would be;

 

* What is their specialty? I tend to be wary of people who specialize in EVERYTHING. One can't be all things to all people. Typically therapist have one or two focuses.

 

*Have they worked with people with your issues? Share a little on the phone about your issues and see how the therapist responds.

 

* What is their training? If they say they are trained, find out if it was a one day seminar in EMDR and/or if they took a three-hour online course in psychoanalysis, etc., If they call themselves an expert in a modality after such a short training I would likely hang up and move on to someone with a little more experience.

 

* Are they licensed? If they say that they are, I would still look up their license and make sure. There have been cases of people practicing with them which can be dangerous. Once you are sure that they actually have a license, I would also look on the state licensing boards (or equivalent depending on where you live) to see if there are any infractions against them.

 

Before I set up the appointment, I would find out their fee and discuss if you need sliding scale or if you are planning on using insurance. If you like everything about them but their rate and is more than you can manage, I would tell them that. If they can slide no lower, then I would ask for referrals. They might know someone who works like they do at a lower fee. That said, cheap is not always better.

 

8. Take Notice - REALLY IMPORTANT. Notice how you feel on the phone with the therapist. You may not feel a resounding YES immediately if only because your nervous and the whole thing can feel a bit weird and awkward but your gut is powerful nonetheless. Depending on the tone of their voice, how they respond to your questions and your issues it may be quite telling. Let your gut guide you in choosing who to book for an appointment.

 

On your first appointment, again, continue taking notice regarding how you feel when you are in the room with them. Do you feel heard when you speak? Notice how you feel in that person's presence. Notice everything. You might not know on the first session if the therapist is for you (usually takes at least 3-4 sessions). If you decide that it isn't a good match, then you don't need to come back. There is NO OBLIGATION. If that's the case, it's best to tell the therapist what it is you're looking for and why he/she isn't the best fit for you, as the therapist might have some ideas for a referral that would work for you. And sometimes that desire to not come back is motivated by some more unconscious anxieties about being in therapy. Best to discuss those, too.

 

And finally, the bottom line is therapy is VERY personal and what works for one may not work for another. There is no shame in trying different approaches, dismissing ones that don't feel right and embracing ones that do and that includes therapists themselves.

 

One thing is for sure, you'll never go wrong by being proactive regarding your mental health.

 

Good luck!

 

Hey Michelle ma Belle...you are in Canada right?

 

I am confused as to why you would pay for a therapist when seeing a psychiatrist for meds and therapy are free under our medical services plan.

[camillalev]

Has anyone taken anti depressants or anti anxiety medication? Was/is it positive or negative?

[truthtripper]

Has anyone taken anti depressants or anti anxiety medication? Was/is it positive or negative?

Although many people have positive results with medication, it doesn't agree with me. On two separate occasions, doctors prescribed me antidepressants, which only made me feel worse. The relaxing effects make me feel like I'm losing control of my body and actually cause me more distress than what I already have. I also experienced a tightening of my chest and breathing difficulties, which are side effects.

 

I've been experimenting with lots of different herbal remedies and have found that cayenne pepper is an effective mind relaxant as it relaxes the muscles. I usually have trouble sleeping, but about half to a teaspoon of cayenne powder in milk or with food before bed will give me an uninterrupted, strong sleep. It also helps with daytime nerves. The downside is that it's essential to feel the burning sensation in your mouth for it to have an effect. Apparently this is what sets off the physiological bodily reactions that make it work. Though, if you pursue with it, you will develop a tolerance to the heat.

[ManyDissapoint]

Thank you for your very detailed answer Michelle.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Hey Michelle ma Belle...you are in Canada right?

 

I am confused as to why you would pay for a therapist when seeing a psychiatrist for meds and therapy are free under our medical services plan.

 

I am from Canada but psychiatric care is actually NOT covered by OHIP. But, private health insurance may cover all or some psychologist services which is why I see a social worker - my work benefits cover this particular type of service and pays out 80% of the cost. They can't prescribe meds but they often work with medical doctors who ARE covered by OHIP. Meds can be prescribed by medical doctors and depending on what kind and what type of private health insurance a patient has, the payout is often minimal if at all.

 

OHIP does not cover prescription drugs which is why many people have to supplement with private insurance or just pay out of pocket.

 

[carhill]

Do you have any tips on how to tell if your therapist would be a good fit?

Most do an introductory session. Listen to the questions they ask and how they respond to your answers.

 

Make a short job list, like a bucket list of things you wish to accomplish in session. Ask them to lay out a plan to accomplish your goal and what tools they're considering using. Listen.

 

Usually, things feel right or they feel wrong. If right, retain them. If wrong, thank them and either ask for a referral or simply move on.

 

If you haven't had a physical recently, your medical doctor is a good start, to rule out physical causes and suggest physical courses of action and/or refer you to a psychological specialist.

 

You can, here in the US, choose to engage a medical doctor who specializes in psychology, a psychiatrist, and they can handle everything in-house, or you can work with a psychologist or therapist and your medical doctor, in concert, where the psych works the talk part of the issues and the doctor works the medical/medication part.

 

I'd be wary of anyone who prescribes brain medications for psychological complaints without a substantial analysis. Your views may vary. Be sure that this area of treatment matches your views and those of your treating professionals in a complimentary fashion.

 

Although not individual, I had about 14 months experience with therapy with a psychologist and found the experience to be both hard work and provide positive results. Like with any relationship, it takes two people working together. In our case, we got a good fit at the beginning. However, if things appear to be going sideways, don't stick it out with a poor fit. Try another practitioner. Good luck!