My sister has PTSD and anxiety, and won't talk to family

[sarah12]

I read the thread 'kinds of social anxiety' and want to tell my story as someone who wants to help a sibling with the disorder.

 

My sister was diagnosed with PTSD and social anxiety but I think she may also be depressed. I can't figure it all out and she hurts the rest of our family a lot, myself included, because she won't let any of us in, and in fact just doesn't want to talk to any of us. I'm the one that's closest to her and the only one she'll talk to on the phone, but even still, we get in a lot of arguments and currently we aren't on speaking terms (as of last week).

 

It hurts me a lot because I feel like I can't do anything about it and I just have to sit here and watch her scream at everyone she hates and watch her wither away. She also doesn't eat very much and so she's lost a lot of weight, lives on her own and never calls anybody. I have a hard time talking to people about it and I'm tired of my parents bugging me about her, because I feel that there is simply nothing that anyone can do until she makes the decision to make herself feel better. She's gone to counselling before but had to give that up once she was out of school because then you have to pay for it.

 

I don't know what to do, it's the only thing I cry about because it's like I don't have a sister, and my whole family is scared to talk to her because she'll either hang up the phone on us or scream her head off to leave her alone.

 

I don't want to live like this for the rest of my life. Somebody help! Send me some links or tell me what I can do.

[moimeme]

Well, you could try telling her you're worried about her weight loss and suggest she see a doctor. If the doc's on the ball, s/he'll pick up on the other symptoms.

[Craig]

PTSD can be a living hell to the person that has it. Early treatment is best but treatment at any time is essential. I don't know how bad your sister's PTSD is but even so called mild cases are hell. I have nothing but respect for anyone that has it or has had it. Anyone that has not had it can not possibly imagine in their wildest dreams what kind of hell it is.

 

You can find some good info on the web as well as support forums by surfing around. "Combat related PTSD" sites often have some very good information. PTSD is PTSD but the combat related PTSD sites seem to get more money and seem to have better information.

 

Meds can help with the PTSD symptoms but treatment is needed to help lessen the symptoms in the long run.

 

Try and keep your sister away from the Benzodiazepines (Valium, Ativan, Lorazepam, etc.) they are addictive.

 

A good med to try is Buspar it's in a class by itself. It's not addictive and hard to abuse.

 

SSRI's like prozac, effexor, etc. work for some people.

 

For others a tricyclic antidepressant (TCA) might be tried in a dose either for treating depression or as a sleep aid (PTSD folk tend to have problems getting a good nights sleep.) If a TCA is used for a sleep aid the dose will be a lot smaller than if it's used for depression. A good doc will know what kind of TCA to prescribe for this.

 

Wellbutrin works for some people, it's an antidepressant in a class by itself (it's also the same thing as Zyban so if your sister smokes this might help her quit.)

 

Your sister should never use alcohol to self medicate for obvious reasons.

 

What your sister needs is a lot of gentle caring and understanding. She'll have triggers that bring back the PTSD and it's important that you don't trigger her accidently. There is a bunch of physical and emotional symptoms that are hell to deal with. Your sister may have a few or a lot. Respect her hypervigillance if she has any and try to keep things calm. Don't tell her to calm down, be calm and she'll follow your lead.

 

Here are some decent sites:

 

http://www.dr-bob.org/tips/ptsd.html

 

http://forums.military.com/eve/ubb.x/a/tpc/f/6831984016/m/49910115

 

http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/

 

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/reliving.cfm

[sarah12]

Thanks guys for the help.

 

It is so hard to stay calm when she is just screaming all the time for everyone to leave her alone. My mom cries about her every week, she's yelled at my mom on her birthday and mother's day. Even if I stay calm, she cannot calm down.

 

I also have sent her links before and she rejects any help or sites that I send her. Any idea how I can get her to accept my help?? I figured that I'd have to somehow manage to make it seem as if it's her idea to get help, and not mine.

 

On top of her rejection to any help from me, I also have my parents who won't accept the fact that my sister is mentally ill, and it's almost like they don't hear me when I tell them she is depressed, has PTSD and social

anxiety. If only they could accept it, then maybe they could help find her a doctor?

 

Sorry my post is all over the place but as you can see, I'm a pretty scattered mess about this stuff. I just feel very caught in the middle between my sister and my parents..both yelling at me for different reasons over the same issue.

[Craig]

Sarah, your sister might have to become an in-patient at some point. There's probably nothing you can do in your jurisdiction until she becomes a danger to herself or others. If there is a doc that has been treating her you might talk to her/him about your concerns. Some docs will do things to get someone into treatment before a patient hits rock bottom.

 

I don't know what kind of trauma your sister suffered and it's not important that I know. Whatever trauma she suffered there is likely a support group for that kind of trauma or PTSD in your area. You can call those people, talk with them and get some ideas about things you can do.

 

Does your sister exercise a lot? Is she a perfectionist?

[sarah12]

Sarah, your sister might have to become an in-patient at some point.

 

I had a hard enough time reading about all the drugs you mentioned in the earlier post

 

I would like to think that there are ways around going on drugs or becoming an in-patient. She wouldn't do the latter anyhow, she has a good job that I wouldn't want her to leave. She doesn't have a doc at the moment, but she used to have a counsellor at her school which she has now graduated from. I think that the first step I need to take is to show her that she needs help, and have her admit to herself that she needs help. This is the hardest thing to do because she immediately deletes emails from me or hangs up the phone on me as soon as I mention something related to her issues. What to do?

 

She doesn't exercise and she is not a perfectionist.

[whichwayisup]

Sarah how old is she? Depending on her age, if your mom/dad get on board they can committ her or atleast have a pysch evaluation done.

 

Hang in there and stay strong. I know how hard this is on everybody else and your sis is lucky to have you looking out for her.