changeofseasons Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 Some background: long distance for almost 2 months, never met before, i googled him back when it was starting to get serious and saw that he had an POF profile (we met on another dating site) but the photos were down, bio was still up. Something told me to google him this morning, i did and he had pictures up and i think some might be new but im not 100%. I confronted him, he was a little pissed but told me he would delete it and that he got bored one night, logged back in and it "reactivated" his account. I've never been on this site, can anyone confirm that this is how it works? I looked at the sites FAQ and i dont see anything about logging back in and suddenly having all your photos go back up. Everything has been good so far, i did have a problem with him liking other girls instagram photos, i didnt bar him from it, but i did say it was a deal breaker and he stopped. Some help please? Link to post Share on other sites
lilmissjava Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 I am of the understanding that on POF, once your profile is deleted, it cannot be reactivated, unless the same username is still available. You still need to register your email account and fill in all the required fields if you were to do that. So no, one cannot simply "log back in"- only if their profile was "hidden" from searching would they be able to log back in and unhide their profile. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 With POF you have the option of deleting a profile entirely, or merely "hiding" it so no one can search for you and no one can see your profile. That's essentially "deactivating" it. When you log back in you can "unhide" it and you're back up and ready to go. Also, you use the words "never met before" and "back when it got serious." You've never met. This isn't serious. It's not a thing until you actually meet him in person. Until then, it's a fantasy. You haven't even met, you're not his girlfriend, and you confront him for being on a dating site? Meet. Date in person for a while. Become an established couple, AND THEN talk about the fact you're upset he's still on a dating site. I personally find long distance, especially long distance on an online dating site, to be a complete waste of everyone's time. What exactly is the plan here? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 With POF you have the option of deleting a profile entirely, or merely "hiding" it so no one can search for you and no one can see your profile. That's essentially "deactivating" it. When you log back in you can "unhide" it and you're back up and ready to go. Also, you use the words "never met before" and "back when it got serious." You've never met. This isn't serious. It's not a thing until you actually meet him in person. Until then, it's a fantasy. You haven't even met, you're not his girlfriend, and you confront him for being on a dating site? Meet. Date in person for a while. Become an established couple, AND THEN talk about the fact you're upset he's still on a dating site. I personally find long distance, especially long distance on an online dating site, to be a complete waste of everyone's time. What exactly is the plan here? All of this. How is it serious if you've never met? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 With both OK Cupid and PoF you can either deactivate or hide your account or you can delete it. My OK Cupid one is up at the moment. My PoF is hidden. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 (edited) Nothing is real until you MEET. Do not get emotionally involved with someone you have never met!!! POF can be very glitchy at times. They seem to make changes without testing them and roll them back if they don't work. Features randomly appear and disappear or become "upgraded only" and then revert back a few days later. Sometimes all photo captions disappear at random. If the image server is down, the photos may disappear. But i wouldn't let the glitchiness of POF excuse his behaviour. He was cruising for other chicks and if that goes against an agreement between the 2 of you, I would cut contact. Edited November 5, 2015 by PegNosePete 3 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Yes, that is how it works- logging in reactivates it. long distance for almost 2 months, never met before, i googled him back when it was starting to get serious... Did I miss some crucial development between "never met" and "starting to get serious?" Perhaps it's just a punctuation error? Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Yes, that is how it works- logging in reactivates it. Logging in doesn't reactivate anything unless YOU chose to unhide your profile. If it's hidden, you can still log in and do whatever you want for as long as you want. He probably just hid his profile, rather than delete it. And when he realized how pointless it was to have a Skype relationship with someone, he took his profile out of hiding. Only a fool would devote their life to someone they've never even met. What a colossal waste of time. Move on OP. Meet someone you can actually spend time with in person. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Some background: long distance for almost 2 months, never met before, i googled him back when it was starting to get serious and saw that he had an POF profile (we met on another dating site) but the photos were down, bio was still up. Something told me to google him this morning, i did and he had pictures up and i think some might be new but im not 100%. I confronted him, he was a little pissed but told me he would delete it and that he got bored one night, logged back in and it "reactivated" his account. I've never been on this site, can anyone confirm that this is how it works? I looked at the sites FAQ and i dont see anything about logging back in and suddenly having all your photos go back up. Everything has been good so far, i did have a problem with him liking other girls instagram photos, i didnt bar him from it, but i did say it was a deal breaker and he stopped. Some help please? Oh boy. It's not real until you meet in person. It can't be serious because you have not met. Since you have not met & it's not serious or real you are in no position to dictate what he does -- have a profile up, use social media, talk to or date other women etc. You certainly are in no position to bar him from doing anything. If you want to move forward here, take step one: Meet each other. As soon as you do this, you may not even like each other. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 If it were me I wouldn't continue interest in someone that is so paranoid they had to stalk me on the net. Don't be surprised when he ditches you. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 long distance for almost 2 months, never met before Ummmm... yeah. You haven't met? It isn't serious. You don't really KNOW this person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Yep, ditto to everything that's already been said here. OP, it's not dating if you've never met I don't care how long you've been chatting. Even if you were to meet and continue on as an official couple you will need to get your insecurities in check - STAT. As I've said a billion times on here, LDR are NOT for the weak. It takes an ENORMOUS amount of commitment, trust and communication to beat the odds. If you ask me, this guy doesn't sound like even he thinks you're "dating". Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author changeofseasons Posted November 6, 2015 Author Share Posted November 6, 2015 (edited) I do agree with you guys..to an extent. By serious i meant he told me that he didnt want me or him to see anyone else, he initiated everything and i honestly was not looking for this type of thing, but in a way it does work out since i am moving to his area for my next degree next fall. I know its not "real" yet, its a really awkward time, we want to make this work and meet up asap but my school and his work have been getting in the way. I've actually done this before (meet online and eventually meet irl) and things have worked out eventually, i know you guys think that this type of thing is bogus and i can tell you all dont take it seriously (which is surprising, considering i assumed majority of people on here would get online relationships now, since well..this is the internet lol) but its actually more common than you think. I'm sorta surprised by the feedback you guys gave, but thanks, i shall think about it. Oh and btw he deleted his account. Edited November 6, 2015 by changeofseasons Link to post Share on other sites
Author changeofseasons Posted November 6, 2015 Author Share Posted November 6, 2015 Actually no, discard my last post, thank you guys, you're words were harsh but they woke me up and i discovered he actually updated his profile instead of deleting it. thanks for saving me time rather than being delirious. and yes i know i have issues to work on, now i will focus on that. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 i know you guys think that this type of thing is bogus and i can tell you all dont take it seriously (which is surprising, considering i assumed majority of people on here would get online relationships now, since well..this is the internet lol) Well yes, I met my partner online. And my ex wife too. And my good friend met her partner on world of warcraft, they lived in different countries but now have a baby together. So I totally "get it". But what I do not get is putting your life on hold for someone you have never met! If you have a long distance relationship then it's vitally important to meet up as soon as possible, even if just for a couple of days, because people portray themselves very differently online than they are in real life (not deliberately, it's just natural). I have met many, many people whom I get on great with online, but in real life there is simply a different relationship. So putting your life on hold for someone you've never met, is really not a good way of meeting a life partner! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I do agree with you guys..to an extent. By serious i meant he told me that he didnt want me or him to see anyone else, he initiated everything and i honestly was not looking for this type of thing, but in a way it does work out since i am moving to his area for my next degree next fall. I know its not "real" yet, its a really awkward time, we want to make this work and meet up asap but my school and his work have been getting in the way. I've actually done this before (meet online and eventually meet irl) and things have worked out eventually, i know you guys think that this type of thing is bogus and i can tell you all dont take it seriously (which is surprising, considering i assumed majority of people on here would get online relationships now, since well..this is the internet lol) but its actually more common than you think. I'm sorta surprised by the feedback you guys gave, but thanks, i shall think about it. Oh and btw he deleted his account. There is a big difference between meeting a partner online and establishing a relationship in-person through dates and quality time spent offline...and never meeting the person behind the screen. The latter isn't a relationship. It's a chat buddy. Hence the general opinion that this friendship you've formed with this man isn't actually a relationship in a romantic sense. I think too many people get wrapped up in the online fantasy and forget what a real relationship actually looks like. That is bigger problem, from my perspective. So many get hurt and disappointed but then reveal they've never even laid eyes on the other party in real life. There is a false set of expectations based on very little real, tangible information. You just need to protect yourself from that and not assume that chatting for 2 months = commitment of any kind. You will be happier for it in the long-run. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 Actually no, discard my last post, thank you guys, you're words were harsh but they woke me up and i discovered he actually updated his profile instead of deleting it. thanks for saving me time rather than being delirious. and yes i know i have issues to work on, now i will focus on that. So what's the outcome to this? Are you still planning to move there and meet and are you still dating him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author changeofseasons Posted November 7, 2015 Author Share Posted November 7, 2015 He's still a decent guy, but like what others said i am not putting my life on hold or going to worry about what he does. I've always planned on moving to the area he lives, because that is where i am originally from and where my college of choice is. If we're both still single by the time i get there then we'll get to know each other but until then im going to focus on getting my current degree. As cliche as it sounds if its meant to be it'll happen. Thanks everyone! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 He's still a decent guy, but like what others said i am not putting my life on hold or going to worry about what he does. I've always planned on moving to the area he lives, because that is where i am originally from and where my college of choice is. If we're both still single by the time i get there then we'll get to know each other but until then im going to focus on getting my current degree. As cliche as it sounds if its meant to be it'll happen. Thanks everyone! So glad you are putting yourself first *whew* what a relief. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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