loverage21 Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 I am 21 years old and I never been in an exclusive relationship. I have dated girls short term and had a fling/hookup, but I never had a girlfriend. Some of the girls I went out with on dates were out of shear desperation and they were not my type. It makes me feel bad because it is extremely rare to find people who have never had a girlfriend or boyfriend by the time they graduated high school. It feels like I am missing that major development milestone in my life. I never been in a relationship so I don't know what it is like to be in one or even maintain one. Versus most my age have so they have some maturity when it comes to that. So I feel not only left out but behind the game. Hell, one of the guys I work with is 20 (younger than me slightly) and is already married to his high school sweetheart. Even his demeanor is more mature than me. The girl I was dating recently was a virgin by choice at age 18. I thought that maybe she never had a boyfriend either. I was WAY wrong on that one. She dated a guy for 2 years 3 months her freshman and sophomore years of high school. It broke me. But I could tell just her approach to relationships was much different than me. Because I am fiery and pursuant of girls I like. She just sort of cautious and not as excited. Idk. That is why too I always wanted to be a girl's first love. Because at least her love for me and feelings for me will be just as fiery and intense as the feelings I have for her.
Got it Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 Two things: 1. Why does your skin color factor into this? Curious why you felt a need to put that. 2. Why do you assume that a girl would feel the same fiery level as you just because you are her first. This is assuming the process of falling in love and love is the same for everyone and this is not the case. Actually 3. Since you already dated a girl who you loved, you actually have already hit your first so the NEXT girl, according to your logic, won't get as fiery of a love. So you want her to love you more than you love her? Doesn't seem fair.
MidwestUSA Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 What if, just if, you met a girl who wasn't so much concerned about a first love, but a first lay? Or both? Is this girl that you mentioned the one you wrote the letters to Penthouse type story about? Because the things you did to her, well maybe, just maybe, a girl looking for her first love wouldn't approve of that. You're not offering any firsts on that front.
Author loverage21 Posted November 5, 2015 Author Posted November 5, 2015 Two things: 1. Why does your skin color factor into this? Curious why you felt a need to put that. 2. Why do you assume that a girl would feel the same fiery level as you just because you are her first. This is assuming the process of falling in love and love is the same for everyone and this is not the case. Actually 3. Since you already dated a girl who you loved, you actually have already hit your first so the NEXT girl, according to your logic, won't get as fiery of a love. So you want her to love you more than you love her? Doesn't seem fair. Depends on what you mean by "first". I have never had an exclusive relationship. Meaning I never had a girl that I can say that was my girlfriend. I had a hookup. I lost my virginity. But while I had feelings for her I cannot say I actually loved her. So while I may not be a virgin and while I may have had my first kiss, I never had a girlfriend Oh and the part where I was saying I am white and American. Due to certain cultures, some people have relationships later or earlier than others.
Got it Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 Love doesn't necessarily require an exclusive relationship. I was speaking to, what you talk about, which is love. And white is a culture. It's a skin color.
Author loverage21 Posted November 5, 2015 Author Posted November 5, 2015 Love doesn't necessarily require an exclusive relationship. I was speaking to, what you talk about, which is love. And white is a culture. It's a skin color. That is true, although what I am trying to get at is the fact I never had a gf. And that I fear a girl will have baggage or a strong sweet spot for someone else she previously was seriously involved with.
FeelingHopelesss Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 You are being totally selfish.. As you said you dated this girl and she was a virgin because she chose to be, she CHOOSES to be most likely meaning she was waiting for the right person she knew she was gonna spend the rest of her life with while you on the other hand had all the other firsts. Defiantly not fair in that perspective. I am a woman and no woman is ever going to want you to say I don't wanna be with you because you've dated other people or I want someone whos never dated or had a boyfriend before, especially while you have done everything else. You say "most my age have so they have some maturity when it comes to that." I'm sure they probably didn't have all these wants that you do and gave people chances. Be open minded we were all young once and what we done in our younger days does not reflect what type of person we are now (I'm not old btw I am 23 but also a mom even met this amazing guy who loves my son, who btw don't have any kids of his own, sucks tho because were in a LDR and things are much harder.) Maybe you can find the right girl then but not with this type of attitude. You might want a girl like that but its not what you want its what you and her both want. Give chances maybe then you will be able to find someone you love who loves you back but if you don't and don't try you will never know who that special someone is.
GunslingerRoland Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 1) You need to get over this obsession of being the first everything to a girl. So what if a girl dated a guy for a couple of years in high school... just worry about finding a girl you are compatible with now. You're still young, in a couple of years, you'll be looking at a pool of women with ex husbands and children. Then you can worry about baggage. 2) From your previous posts, I think you need to be less... what's a nice way to see creepy? I mean you have one post where you talk about wanting to have sex with your cousin and another where you talk about seducing a teenager, taking her to a hotel to have sex, and basically stalking her. Stop acting like a predator hunting young innocent victims and be a standup guy, trying to look for women your age who are your equal. 2
Author loverage21 Posted November 6, 2015 Author Posted November 6, 2015 1) You need to get over this obsession of being the first everything to a girl. So what if a girl dated a guy for a couple of years in high school... just worry about finding a girl you are compatible with now. You're still young, in a couple of years, you'll be looking at a pool of women with ex husbands and children. Then you can worry about baggage. 2) From your previous posts, I think you need to be less... what's a nice way to see creepy? I mean you have one post where you talk about wanting to have sex with your cousin and another where you talk about seducing a teenager, taking her to a hotel to have sex, and basically stalking her. Stop acting like a predator hunting young innocent victims and be a standup guy, trying to look for women your age who are your equal. You look at a lot of movies and music and it glorifies young love and high school sweethearts who marry. For example, the Notebook, 17 Again, etc... Young love sticks with the heart forever. It invokes a lot of emotion.
frogs88 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 And they're as disconnected from the real world as Alice in wonderland. Remove the rose-tinted glasses and face reality. Subsequent love stories beyond the first is what the majority of us end up with.
impatiently_patient Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Didn't read a lick of this... but holy white privilege from the title.
GunslingerRoland Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 You look at a lot of movies and music and it glorifies young love and high school sweethearts who marry. For example, the Notebook, 17 Again, etc... Young love sticks with the heart forever. It invokes a lot of emotion. You are young, meet a girl your age and it will be young love. It's cute when high school sweethearts marry, but you aren't in high school anymore so that boat has sailed...
Author loverage21 Posted November 6, 2015 Author Posted November 6, 2015 You are young, meet a girl your age and it will be young love. It's cute when high school sweethearts marry, but you aren't in high school anymore so that boat has sailed... So no other past or present relationship will be as "cute" as ones that occurred in high school?
GunslingerRoland Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 So no other past or present relationship will be as "cute" as ones that occurred in high school? There is someone cute about high school relationships, sure. But trying to recreate that by dating high school girls or overly naïve girls your own age, isn't particularly cute, it's weird. Who cares how cute your relationship is, meet a girl you enjoy spending your time, who feels the same about you. Who cares if it doesn't make a good chick flick. lol 1
Author loverage21 Posted November 6, 2015 Author Posted November 6, 2015 There is someone cute about high school relationships, sure. But trying to recreate that by dating high school girls or overly naïve girls your own age, isn't particularly cute, it's weird. Who cares how cute your relationship is, meet a girl you enjoy spending your time, who feels the same about you. Who cares if it doesn't make a good chick flick. lol But it goes back to my whole first love/young love worry I have. A woman will always have her first love in heart and any other past relationships that occur after are not as significant or as sweetly remembered.
GunslingerRoland Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 But it goes back to my whole first love/young love worry I have. A woman will always have her first love in heart and any other past relationships that occur after are not as significant or as sweetly remembered. It's not a worry, it's an obsession. And while we all have fond memories of things that happened in high school, like the music of the day, the movies of the day, etc. It's ridiculous to say that a woman's adult relationships are not as significant as her "first love". And regardless you don't have a time machine. You can't be someone's high school sweetheart, you aren't a teenager anymore!! 2
Httm Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Seek therapy. You need it more than you realize. 1
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 be very glad, feel very lucky you are only 21 1
Author loverage21 Posted November 12, 2015 Author Posted November 12, 2015 By the way, for everyone who wonders why I am so hung up on being a girl's first love, here is why: Does your first love always have a place in your heart above all other exes? - GirlsAskGuys
basil67 Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 By the way, for everyone who wonders why I am so hung up on being a girl's first love, here is why: Does your first love always have a place in your heart above all other exes? - GirlsAskGuys It's on the internet. It must be true.
Author loverage21 Posted November 12, 2015 Author Posted November 12, 2015 It's on the internet. It must be true. Well you are from the internet too.
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