Angrybob Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 First post here, been lurking every once in a while and figured I needed to get this off my chest. The drama all happened about a year ago, I don't think I'll have to go into all the details because you're all probably very well acquainted with how bad 'breakups' can be (and it'd be a very long tl;dr). In the end I walked out, lost my home and lots of mutual friends. Never hurt so much in my life and held on to resentment because of that. I ended up sending an email after a few months with the intention of getting closure or something because I spent much of my time seething when I was alone in my own/new condo. Worked alright for a few weeks, but seems like it gave her closure instead of me. Basically I alleviated all her feelings of guilt while not adequately expressing my own anger or really confronting her. I apologised for my wrongs but never got an apology in return. That was basically the whole dynamic of our interactions in the past as well. About a year later I felt I was getting over it and reached out with the intention of at least talking again. I don't know why I did that, the response was a very long winded 'no' and put me back a few months emotionally. I don't think about the past that often anymore now but whenever I'm reminded of her or all the lying I really feel intense hatred - more than usual actually because I feel like I've let her get away with all her bull****, too. First time in my life I've genuinely hated someone. Ghad I just hope I can find someone else soon. Thanks for taking your time to read my rant. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartDesires Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 Hi there Angrybob, Anger is one of the stages of grieving a loss....it's okay to feel this way. When my breakup happened I remained stuck in the anger stage for many months, I really hated him. Link to post Share on other sites
makemineamac Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 (edited) Hey man, sorry you're still going through this stage. I also don't know that finding someone else right now would be the right time would it given your current state? Far better to get to a point where you can be open and ready for the new relationship. As for the old relationship, there's nothing you can change now. I too struggled with the fact that my ex never treated me appropriately and never apologized for any of her actions during our relationship. So no closure that way, sometimes we don't get what we want. Doesn't mean we don't deserve it though. I hope you feel better, it will come in time. A few words someone shared with me years ago after an ex had fooled around on me. I got caught up in the anger for months and months, endlessly rehashing what had happened over and over on another forum. One of the guys there finally gave me 8 words that helped me move on. And they gave me my power back. Those words: This all ends when you say it does. For some reason these words were exactly what I needed to hear, they shifted my entire focus back onto the important thing - me! They're helping me in my current situation too, though I initiated the breakup this time. They've moved me forward far more quickly than I thought they would. So I'm still grateful for that guy helping me well over 10 years ago. I hope you find your own words, a sign, or anything that will help you find peace and help you move forward. Someday soon maybe you'll no no longer be Angrybob, but Contentbob, or Alrightbob! From another guy in his new condo.... All the best. Edited November 7, 2015 by makemineamac Spelling Link to post Share on other sites
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