Ex 'Restricted' Me on FB -But can still see Mine?

[DatingNYC]

Hey all,

 

My ex and I dated for 6 months, intense relationship- we really cared about each other traveled, etc. but he ended things because it was LDR - he lived on the other side of the country - and while he likely WILL move here we don't know when. Could be years, so we didn't want to get in too deep if nothing changed. Sort of a long story.

 

Anyways, we did the NC thing, didn't hear from him - but he's been liking my FB updates lately, so I "liked" his and he reached out when he was in town as he travels here at times- to say hi. This was 2 months after BU. We chatted a bit and I liked that we could at least be on friendly terms. I said I'd like to catch up in person if he has time & put the ball in his court. I didn't want to push. We didn't end up meeting up. It hurt but I understand why. He's also sensitive and may not be ready to meet up if nothing has changed.

 

But then all of a sudden I see that he "restricted" me on FB. What gives?? I can't see anything but he can still see my profile. A friend of his who is a female (but i know they were friends before hand) posted a pic of him and her - it seemed friendly - but within an hour I was 'restricted' so I couldn't see it anymore. I really dont believe he's dating her but is it possible he just doesn't want me to think I'm dating her (she also lives in the same city I do so it woudl be LDR too) and is trying to protect his image? Or is he just trying to kick me out of his life - why such mixed messages? Did he think I wouldn't notice that he restricted me because we're technically "still friends"?? I never harassed him or was jealous or inquisitive, I left him alone after the BU and agreed with the reasons that the timing was bad, etc. But I liked that we could still be friendly with each other but this seems a bit extreme. He's never blocked exes before so WHY ME?!!

 

I can't call him out on it but it's hurtful and pisses me off. I think he did it quickly as he was out and on his mobile, maybe he didn't realize how much he restricted me? Will he change it back? If he really disliked me so much why not just remove me as a contact and why say hi the week before. It's so strange.

 

If I'm honest I do want him back but I'm also an adult and I understand the distance has to change. I always thought that could happen if he moved here but I won't wait for that either - I am dating, etc. and moving on. It's just, I've never blocked an ex before and we were on amicable terms so I'm dumbfounded. Any insight??

[Survivor12]

How can you tell that you are "restricted" unless you're signed in on his account?

[Almond_Joy]

How can you tell that you are "restricted" unless you're signed in on his account?

 

If someone on your friends' list marks you as restricted, you're not able to see anything of their profile unless it's public. So she would have gone from seeing his posts and about me section info and photos when she looks at his profile to seeing nothing at all.

 

IMO, it's kind of a passive aggressive way of telling someone "I don't want you to know about my life."

 

OP, he may be venting on his page about some of his feelings over the breakup, or find himself in social situations that without context may look like he's living up the single life and he doesn't want you to see that. If he sees you in the street, for the sake of appearances of course he will be civil and chat with you....but if he cared about you it's probably really hard for him to interact with you at all right now, the breakup's still fresh. Removing access to info on his life from you is one way of suppressing opportunity for interaction.

 

This really doesn't sound like it's about you personally. He's doing what he feels he needs to do to move on, just like you have started dating and moving on. Drop it and keep living your life. If he hasn't unfriended you, he'll probably come back around to talking to you on his own when he's ready and feels he can handle it.

[DatingNYC]

Almond_Joy, great insight.

 

I know he isn't ranting about the BU online - he's not one to air dirty laundry, he mostly just posts about sports. But I think you may be right on the not wanting to share things without social context part. He broke up with me - and he seemed rather upset and conflicted about it - but maybe he just doesn't want to look like a dick. Or maybe he is dating someone else, who knows.

 

BUT - do you think it's possible he didn't realize how much he restricted me or that he did it by mistake? He's STILL interacting with my FB after the fact so if he doesn't want any temptation for contact - then why mess with my page? Now I can't respond or like to any of his stuff.

 

Like I said, I would love to get back together with him one day - I'm wondering if this hurts my chances or if it's a sign that he's confused and still very much concerned about what I think. In any case, I guess now the ball is entirely in his court and if he wants to see me, he'll let me know. There's a part of me that's mad and wants to defriend him to convey that I know what he did and I'm annoyed - if he doesn't want me in his life then fine. But, I don't want to be reactionary either. Maybe it is temporary, but if he was concerned about what I thought about people posting pics of him, wouldn't he realize that blocking me looks even worse???

 

Not to mention his other social profiles are open so it's not like he's super secretive about what he's doing.. maybe men are just idiots.