zyphfly Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I'm feeling very weak today, and could really use a little pick me up… There is a girl that I've been basically obsessing over for the better part of a year now. It's gone from me desperately wanting to know her, to getting to know her really well, to asking her out a bunch of times (none of which were successful). Regardless, we stay friendly, we have a lot of common interests, mutual friends, we get along really well, we make each other laugh, but that's pretty much where it's stayed at for the last several months. I know there is something there, obviously she enjoys my company, but I've never been able to figure out why it would never really go anywhere. It has recently come to my attention though, that she apparently has a boyfriend (don't know how long this has been going on) and she'll be going to meet his family over the holidays in New York…and the thought of it is driving me absolutely crazy. I want to get over her so bad, but I can't. She is the last thing I think about when I go to sleep and the first thing I think about when I wake up. I'm trying to play it cool around our mutual friends, but I'm having a really hard time. I know I just need to find a way to let it go, but there's this lingering thought in my head: "There must be some part of her that's interested in me, and that's why she doesn't want me to know she's with someone else." A mutual friend of ours made a passing comment to her about her upcoming trip in front of me, and she clammed up like I've never seen before, obviously not wanting me to know about it, but why does she care? If she likes him enough to date him, and go meet his family then I would think it's somewhat serious, but then why not ever mention him in front of me? Does she just like the attention I give her? Is some small part of her still interested in me? Am I a potential backup plan? The logical part of my brain thinks that if she was my girlfriend and other guys were coming on to her and she didn't make it clear she was taken, that wouldn't sit well with me, but the overriding part of my brain at the moment could care less because I just want what I want right now, apparently even at the detriment of my own emotional wellbeing. Need help, feel like I'm spiraling! It's been almost a year, I feel like I've tried everything, if I can't be with her, then how do I get her out of my head? Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Welcome to the Back Up Plan! It sucks! Here's your prescription: Speak orally once to subject "I don't think we can continue like we were. I like you more than just friends. If you ever feel the same, let me know, but otherwise this is goodbye." Proceed with taking a full dose of NC for eternity, or until subject comes back with the line "I want to be with you." Link to post Share on other sites
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