I am in love with a long time friend. She feels the same way. But she is married now

[Oops2732]

So here's my story that I need help with. Let me start off by saying that there has been no cheating going on in my situation.well not what I consider to be cheating at least I refuse to.

 

So anyways I have this friend and we have been friends for I don't know probably 20 years now. about 3 months ago we took a trip together to a local theme park and there was a little flirting going on but I didn't really think much of it. But now everytime we hang out I feel like the flirting gets more intense. Like it just feels sooo right but soo wrong at the same time. So tonight when we almost kissed. I said something to her and it turns out she feels the same way.

 

I'm so lost at this point and there's soo much going through my mind I don't what to do. She is a really good friend of mine we've been friends practically our whole lives. Don't ask me why this didn't come out until recently I have no idea. But how do I make this go away without ruining our friendship and still being able to hang out. I do not want to ruin her marriage I am not that guy. I just wish everything could go back to the way it was. But I don't see that happening. I've never felt so close to anyone in my life ever.

[Darren Steez]

It's cheating.

 

You don't need a kiss or have sex for it to be cheating. If you're saying I love you's then surely even you can see she's cheating on her husband.

 

Not really rocket science.

[Inaa]

If anything happens, she'll be the one who is ruining her marriage, not you.

 

Anyway, I think she just got bored of marriage life.

[loverboy69]

I don't think you should be going on day trips to theme parks with her alone if she is already married to another man.

[Grumpybutfun]

I think you know you need to cut this off before you cross even more of a line.if you want to know who gets the raw deal a majority of time in OM/OW situations, read the threads here. You will fall in love with someone who was using you to cure boredom in a lackluster marriage.

This won't end well for you if you pursue it,

G

[smackie9]

You are playing a dangerous game here. If you don't want to destroy a marriage then wtf are you doing??? You need to remove yourself from her life and meet someone who is available simple as that.

 

BTW this is no longer a "friendship" that is so over, you can't see each other anymore.

[No Limit]

You're having an emotional affair, congratulations.

[Sweet108]

You're in denial. It's cheating. Either go NC or continue playing with fire and get burned.

[qubist]

your friendship just died, that's a fact that you have to accept. if you don't realize that you are not a friend anymore you will be in a rocky ordeal.

once you realize that you guys are not friend anymore, you and her have to make a decision, basically she either will chose her marriage or you.

I were you I would just stay away from this, she is either in a bad marriage or in a fantasy, in both cases you should run from her at least for now

[Clockwork]

I've always said a friendship dies when there is an affair that happens. This is obviously an emotional affair. Don't be that guy. She may want it to go further but she isn't separating from her husband either. This sounds like a train wreck and despite the fact that Hollywood makes millions off of movies where there is a cheating husband/wife but they still find a way to justify it doesn't mean it is right in the real world. She's married. She is another man's rhubarb. You had 20 years to be that guy. Let it go and keep away from her if you don't want to complicate things.

[Keke1]

I don't think you should be going on day trips to theme parks with her alone if she is already married to another man.

 

This is why there are sooooo many people with insecurities.

 

On one hand you want give your partner space and time with other ppl. Trust that there will be nothing going on.

 

On the other you have what's going on with this guy and woman. This probably seems innocent to the husband.

[Spectre]

Why be friends with a skanky woman who cheats on her husband? Is this the prize men these days find attractive? I've never woken up one day and thought "I need me an adulterer!".

 

OP just remember: if she could disrespect her husband like this she can do it to you as well. In other words even if tomorrow she left her husband for you..that is no happy ending. The only happy ending here would be for you to end the friendship and also inform your friends husband of the type of woman he is married to.

 

This is why there are sooooo many people with insecurities.

 

On one hand you want give your partner space and time with other ppl. Trust that there will be nothing going on.

 

On the other you have what's going on with this guy and woman. This probably seems innocent to the husband.

 

People forget about balancing trust with respect. It's disrespectful to go out to an amusement park(or even to a damn movie) alone with some dude while you are married.

 

That is where people get very very confused. They feel if their partner trusts them then they should also be willing to accept utterly disrespectful behavior. Nope, it just doesn't work that way. Women especially need to get this about male friends because most of the time it seems to be the females carrying on with male friends. At least with older people, when you have people of high school age it seems the males have more female friends.

[smackie9]

it takes two to tango Specter. She isn't skanky she's a human being with emotions, and her emotions are just getting the best of her, just like the OP is...he is a participant so he is no better. I do not condone what they are involved in and I hope they both just quit it and remove themselves from this situation before it goes down a dark road of shame and guilt.

[Spectre]

Uh it taking two to tango doesn't make it any less skanky. Her having emotions doesn't make it any less skanky.

 

Hate to break this to you..but all skanks have emotions. All people have emotions. So A-holes have them, skanks have them, manwhores have them, normal whores have them.

 

The OP is not innocent, I just want him to understand the only happy ending here is one with this woman out of his life. Since why do I get the feeling that in his mind the happy ending would be something like "she confesses her undying love and leaves her husband for me".

Edited November 10, 2015 by Spectre