If the dumpee disappears completely from the dumper's life...

[Armageddon]

I was dumped by my ex-girlfriend two months ago, on the 21st September over text without a good reason. I never cheated on her or treated her badly. In fact, I care too much for her and her reason for dumping me was because I always "****ed her mind". I won't go into full details of our break-up because that's something really long I'm typing out right now on a word document and I'll post my story shortly.

 

During the post-break up, over the next 3 weeks, I've been begging,crying, and pleading with her for a second chance. I spammed her with texts and calls to the extent that she had to block all incoming calls. I was using Skype credit to call her so she can't exactly block my number. She was living with her best friend so I'd also always spam call her best friend over these 3 weeks to try to get in touch with her. Obviously her friend won't pick up my call. On the 3rd week during our post break-up, I flew back to where she lives (We both live in different countries) to attempt to salvage our relationship. I even chased her all the way to her place, where I was brutally beaten up and strangled by her and her friend. She even called the cops and mafia on me who were on their way to find me. That was on 14th October (24 days ago) and also the last time I saw her. I uninstalled my WhatsApp on that night when I went back to my country and never contact her from that day since.

 

I'm into Day 24 of NC now and I know after what I did, she will never ever come back to me anymore so I plan to disappear completely from her life. I know everyone on here says that after a break-up, the best way to get back with your ex is NC especially if you're the dumpee but I had my reasons for not going NC after my break-up which you all will understand when you read my full story.

 

So I have literally taken begging and pleading to another level. Let's just say that I broke every rule of what you should not do after a break-up and it can't get any worse than this. I begged, cried, pleaded and I even went on my knees. I stalked her and made a scene at her friend's house. Is no contact too late now?

 

Will disappearing completely from her life make her miss me and who knows come back to me one day? She also has a new boyfriend 3 days after our break-up. My situation is hopeless right now and the chance of her getting back to me is as good as zero.

 

I heard many saying that the dumper will usually start to miss the dumpee 2-4 months after a break-up but my break-up is the ugliest it can get and it can't get any worse than this so I don't even know if NC can work anymore. I'm thinking 6-8 months and even by then, I don't think she will forgive me. 1 year? 2 years or more?

 

I'll just like to get some perspective, mainly from female dumpers on my hopeless situation.

 

Will me disappearing completely off the face of the earth make her miss me and see me in a different light again?

Edited November 7, 2015 by Armageddon

[Wewon]

Not sure if this is helpful, but NC is meant to give you a clean break, it forces you to start over without the lingering hope of getting back together.

 

Its not a tool meant to manipulate your ex and make them change her mind.

 

From what you posted, NC may take on a whole new meaning for you. Your behavior of chasing, begging, pleading and calling was disturbing and most likely will be welcomed by her. It may also keep you out of legal trouble.

[mightycpa]

It might have until you did all that stuff. But if she did, then not any longer.

[dumbass2]

Do NC for you because after how you acted after the break up, there is no way in hell she will want anything to do with you ever again. When you go NC right after the break up and disappear, that leaves an impression that is more likely to get her to come back and at least see what you're up to and contact you again. Live and learn from this. Begging and pleading just leaves a pathetic taste in the dumpers mouth that generally doesn't ever go away.

[Armageddon]

Not sure if this is helpful, but NC is meant to give you a clean break, it forces you to start over without the lingering hope of getting back together.

 

Its not a tool meant to manipulate your ex and make them change her mind.

 

From what you posted, NC may take on a whole new meaning for you. Your behavior of chasing, begging, pleading and calling was disturbing and most likely will be welcomed by her. It may also keep you out of legal trouble.

 

I know NC is meant for the dumpee to move on and heal and it's not really meant to get your ex back. I'm just clinging onto a glimmer of hope that she might just change her mind after a long time of NC.

 

It might have until you did all that stuff. But if she did, then not any longer.

 

I know which is why I keep blaming myself and I wish I didn't do all that stuff. Sorry but she did what? So you are 100% sure she will never come back to me anymore?

 

Do NC for you because after how you acted after the break up, there is no way in hell she will want anything to do with you ever again. When you go NC right after the break up and disappear, that leaves an impression that is more likely to get her to come back and at least see what you're up to and contact you again. Live and learn from this. Begging and pleading just leaves a pathetic taste in the dumpers mouth that generally doesn't ever go away.

 

This statement really hurts but I know it's true. You're right, she won't want to have anything to do with me ever again and that's what hurts the most.

 

She was my first love, my first girlfriend and she means so much to me. I didn't want to let go of the relationship so easily. I had my reasons for not going NC because of her past. I know I should have just gone NC right after the break-up and disappear and I really regretted not doing it, but like I said, I couldn't do that because of her past.

 

Can't time heal all wounds though? I really wish that I can travel back in time to go NC and disappear right after the break-up but I know it's too late now.

[Liono84]

Look man, you should learn from this and NEVER do that again. Hopefully, this will be your first and last time but if it's not, don't ever do that again. We all go through some sort of denial, begging, pleading etc., but it shouldn't have to extend weeks after. Normally, it's done on the breakup event and once that's done with, you peace the F out after exhausting all your efforts of trying to salvage the end.

 

A lot of ppl here take things too much to an extreme. It doesn't mean that you'll never hear from her again. There is always a chance your ex comes back (if you go complete NC and better yourself), but taking the odds into the situation, it's highly unlikely. Please try to accept the reality that it's over and she's not coming back. It's better you coming to terms with that frame of mind and moving on with your life, than pinning for false hope, only to waste other future opportunities and time.

[ManyDissapoint]

I had a bad breakup but this is way above my paygrade

[darkbloom]

Not going to lie, I stopped reading after you flew to her country and chased her to her house. Everything you've done is psychotic. You are like a red flag time bomb. All of the things you did post breakup are unacceptable. If she didn't pick up your call the first time, she doesn't want to talk to you. You're now in full fledged harassment territory.

 

Sounds like you're a bit obbsessed. You should seek professional help.

[dumbass2]

but like I said, I couldn't do that because of her past.

 

Can't time heal all wounds though? I really wish that I can travel back in time to go NC and disappear right after the break-up but I know it's too late now.

 

Yes, you could have not done 90% of what you did post break up. There is no excuse.

 

Time can heal, but it doesn't mean she'll want to come back. She will probably never forgot those actions by you, but in time forgive for herself. You have to learn from this and do not do this ever again. As another poster suggested, you may want to seek professional help because what you did was pretty far and above what most people would have done.

[itisdanielle]

I broke up with my first boyfriend about 7 years ago. He took it SO badly. He would constantly text and call, be waiting outside school for me to come out and interrogate me about guys he thought I was speaking to, randomly turn up with gifts and so much more. It was so draining for me because breaking up with him was difficult, the thought of not having him in my life upset me. But his actions completely pushed me away and all I wanted after his bad reaction was to have him out of my life.

 

Since then, we have seen each other over the years and chatted and he's in a new relationship now. When I see him I don't really think of what he did, and I understand that he just found the breakup hard and dealt with it badly. Time and space away from him allowed me to kinda forget about that side of him and when I think of him now, it's mostly about the positives.

 

So yeah, time and complete NC are your only option.

[mightycpa]

So you are 100% sure she will never come back to me anymore?

I am. You are like a jet age stalker. You actually got in a plane and crossed borders AFTER being first dumped, then ignored. You are radioactive to this woman, I guarantee that she wants nothing to do with you.

 

That may sound romantic and devoted in some demented way, but your actions were missing the most important ingredient - her desire.

 

You guys are done forever. Maybe in the next life if she doesn't recognize you.

[Snakechammah]

Are you Pisces by any chance?

 

My first ex, whom I broke up with 12 years ago, was similar to you. We were in uni but in different dorms, and he would download my timetable, stalked me, knew the time I return from class, watched me from his window, called me, texted me, begged my friends, showed up at my dorm (until the other guys from my dorm chased him out).... until he got a new girlfriend.

 

But even while he was with her, he would give me the creepiest look!

 

Please also know I only dated this dude for about 2 weeks! It wasn't even an indepth relationship and I didn't even sleep with him! 2 freaking weeks of 'dating' and he already turned psycho.

 

After I left the country, I heard from other friends, he also stalked other girls. Apparently, one of the girls he had a crush on rejected him and he set her place on fire. It became a police case.

 

Boy was I glad I broke up with him AND left the country!!! I will never go back to him - not a chance in hell.

 

Please don't be like that guy.

[Popsicle]

This is the worst... when people go NC or do a 180 just to get their SO back.

 

You're supposed to be truly done with them and do it for yourself.

[Armageddon]

Look man, you should learn from this and NEVER do that again. Hopefully, this will be your first and last time but if it's not, don't ever do that again. We all go through some sort of denial, begging, pleading etc., but it shouldn't have to extend weeks after. Normally, it's done on the breakup event and once that's done with, you peace the F out after exhausting all your efforts of trying to salvage the end.

 

A lot of ppl here take things too much to an extreme. It doesn't mean that you'll never hear from her again. There is always a chance your ex comes back (if you go complete NC and better yourself), but taking the odds into the situation, it's highly unlikely. Please try to accept the reality that it's over and she's not coming back. It's better you coming to terms with that frame of mind and moving on with your life, than pinning for false hope, only to waste other future opportunities and time.

 

She was my first girlfriend and my first relationship. I didn't want to let go of this relationship so easily. I kept telling her that she will always be my girlfriend and I'll never give up on our relationship but she has already made up her mind and it seems like nothing I say or do will change that fact. I know I've already screwed this up big time. Like you said, the odds of her coming back to me is highly unlikely but I really hope that she might reach out to me again after a long time of disappearance. I know I should use NC to move on with my life and stop using it as false hope because it's the hope that kills but I need this hope to help me move on, if that even makes any sense. I really miss her and I cry every night. I wish I could reverse time. I really wish. Now I know I can never ever see or even hear from her again.

 

I had a bad breakup but this is way above my paygrade

 

I know my breakup takes breakups to the next level. It can't get any worse than this. Did you hear back from your ex again?

 

Not going to lie, I stopped reading after you flew to her country and chased her to her house. Everything you've done is psychotic. You are like a red flag time bomb. All of the things you did post breakup are unacceptable. If she didn't pick up your call the first time, she doesn't want to talk to you. You're now in full fledged harassment territory.

 

Sounds like you're a bit obbsessed. You should seek professional help.

 

Yes she made me crazy and even she told me back in our relationship that I need to go see a doctor. I went to see two hypnotherapists this week and it still didn't help me. If you understand my story, you will know why I did all this.

 

Yes, you could have not done 90% of what you did post break up. There is no excuse.

 

Time can heal, but it doesn't mean she'll want to come back. She will probably never forgot those actions by you, but in time forgive for herself. You have to learn from this and do not do this ever again. As another poster suggested, you may want to seek professional help because what you did was pretty far and above what most people would have done.

 

I'm seeking professional help now. I'm went to see two hynotherapists this week and I'm going to see a counseller today. I know my break-up is extremely ugly and terrible but there are 7 billion people in this world and I'm sure there are also other similar breakups like mine. I really hope she can come back to me but after everything I've done, I know it's impossible. What can I do now for her to come back to me?

 

I broke up with my first boyfriend about 7 years ago. He took it SO badly. He would constantly text and call, be waiting outside school for me to come out and interrogate me about guys he thought I was speaking to, randomly turn up with gifts and so much more. It was so draining for me because breaking up with him was difficult, the thought of not having him in my life upset me. But his actions completely pushed me away and all I wanted after his bad reaction was to have him out of my life.

 

Since then, we have seen each other over the years and chatted and he's in a new relationship now. When I see him I don't really think of what he did, and I understand that he just found the breakup hard and dealt with it badly. Time and space away from him allowed me to kinda forget about that side of him and when I think of him now, it's mostly about the positives.

 

So yeah, time and complete NC are your only option.

 

Thank you so much, reading your comment gives me a little hope. I did exactly what your ex did but my situation is harder because 3 days after she broke up with me, she has a new boyfriend. How long did it take for you to forgive your ex and how long did the two of you go NC before you two start talking again? Did he or you initiate the contact? Thanks.

 

I am. You are like a jet age stalker. You actually got in a plane and crossed borders AFTER being first dumped, then ignored. You are radioactive to this woman, I guarantee that she wants nothing to do with you.

 

That may sound romantic and devoted in some demented way, but your actions were missing the most important ingredient - her desire.

 

You guys are done forever. Maybe in the next life if she doesn't recognize you.

 

If you know my story, you will understand why. When I posted this, I know I'm going to get judged and criticized. I'll post my story on another thread.

 

Are you Pisces by any chance?

 

My first ex, whom I broke up with 12 years ago, was similar to you. We were in uni but in different dorms, and he would download my timetable, stalked me, knew the time I return from class, watched me from his window, called me, texted me, begged my friends, showed up at my dorm (until the other guys from my dorm chased him out).... until he got a new girlfriend.

 

But even while he was with her, he would give me the creepiest look!

 

Please also know I only dated this dude for about 2 weeks! It wasn't even an indepth relationship and I didn't even sleep with him! 2 freaking weeks of 'dating' and he already turned psycho.

 

After I left the country, I heard from other friends, he also stalked other girls. Apparently, one of the girls he had a crush on rejected him and he set her place on fire. It became a police case.

 

Boy was I glad I broke up with him AND left the country!!! I will never go back to him - not a chance in hell.

 

Please don't be like that guy.

 

Yes I'm a Pisces, I'm born on the 6th of March. The first time my ex met me, she actually asked me when was my birthday and it got me thinking a lot because it's kind of rare for girls to ask you for your birthday the first time you met them and when we got to know each other better, she told me the reason why she asked for my birthday was because she wanted to know my horoscope and understand me better. I'm very emotional. I can't control my emotions and feelings at all.

 

This is the worst... when people go NC or do a 180 just to get their SO back.

 

You're supposed to be truly done with them and do it for yourself.

 

I know there is no way back now.

 

 

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate all the feedback. I'm really in so much pain right now. I actually feel suicidal. I don't know what to do. If you guys know my story, then you will understand why I was crazy enough to fly over to her country and did all those stuff. I really miss her and I don't know what to do.

 

My girlfriend was an ex-escort and it was me who save her and changed her life but she used me and abandoned me for a Thai man, after promising me everything, that we would start a new life when we went back to Thailand. She was an illegal immigrant because she overstayed in Thailand for 4 years. She had no passport at all so she had to work in a brothel so the pimp can protect her. I was the one who gave her the money to get out of the brothel, her air ticket back to her country to be reunited with her family, airport penalty fee and bribed the airport staff for her to rush to the plane.

 

I became her boyfriend in June and from June to September, I've been sending $5000 to $6000 every month to her and her family. All in all, I spent about $50k on her. I told her that when we come back to Thailand, I cannot give her any more money because I want her to love me for who I am, not my money and she promised me she will find a normal job and not ask me for money anymore when we come back to Thailand to start our new life. Unfortunately, my biggest fear came true. We came back to Thailand on the 10th September and she ran away from me after 6 hours. I kept begging and crying for over a month.

 

She broke up with me on the 21st September 2015 and the last time I saw her was 25 days ago. I tried to get her off the motorbike and she threatened to call her mafia friend and I tried to stop her, and in our struggle, I grabbed hold of her phone. She told the motorbike driver to quickly leave and I hopped onto another motorbike and chased after her. During the chase, I searched her phone and saw there’s pictures of her sleeping with another man. The chase led to her best friend’s house (who’s also a Russian girl by the way). I confronted her about that man and she admitted to me he was her new boyfriend. I was brutally beaten up, slapped and strangled by her and her best friend and this is the most humiliating experience in my life. I went down on my knees, begged and cried and refused to leave unless she come back to me. She threatened to call her mafia and told me that he would come up with the police and they would beat me and lock me up in jail and I’ll be deported. I uninstalled my WhatsApp and never contact her from that day since.

 

For the past 25 days, I’ve been researching ways on how to cope with a break-up and I see lots of videos and articles about how I should re-connect with old friends, go out travelling – meeting new people, keep myself busy working but the problem is I can’t do any of these as I lost a lot of my friends because of her. 6 months ago, they warned me about her and told me to leave her but I refused to listen to them and lost our friendship as a result. I have no money to go travelling now because I gave all my money to her and I was also fired from my last job because of her. I have also been googling stuff like "How to forget your ex-girlfriend?", "How to get over a break-up?", "Will a female dumper ever come back?" and I went on forums and kept reading and reading but the more I read, the more upset I feel and I know that no matter how much I read or try to understand this whole situation, people's experience can never help me because my story is very different as first of all, my ex is not a normal girl, she was a prostitute. I have been feeling suicidal over this and I even tried to kill myself when I was in Thailand but I was stopped by a security guard. I really don't know what to do. I keep thinking about her. Every minute, hour and day. Every night before I go to sleep and every morning when I wake up. I lost my job because of her, my mum has depression and my grandmother has stage 4 cancer and she has less than 6 months to live. All the money which were meant for my grandmother's medical treatment has been spent on her.

 

So that’s why now I come to this forum for help as I really don’t know what to do. I have seek professional help, I went to see two hynotherapists this week but it's still not helping me.

 

I feel suicidal now. Every morning when I wake up, I just think of her...knowing she will never ever talk to me again kills me inside. After everything I did for her, how can she do this to me?

 

Please help me.

 

I will be posting a full story of our relationship and the break-up on another thread to give all of you a better insight. I really need all the help I can get right now.

 

Why did I beg, plead cry and even fly to her country to stalk her? Because of her past. I wasn't able to go strict NC and disappear on her immediately after our break-up because of her past. If she was a normal girl, then yes I'd have gone NC. I'm worried and afraid that she might go back to her old life after our break-up because I know that all ex-prostitutes would tend to go back to their old life if they have a relationship failure.

 

I just want the best for her.

Edited November 8, 2015 by Armageddon

[Snakechammah]

Thanks for clarifying that you're a Pisces, you see, I'm an aspiring astrologer and I do see certain characteristics in some people. I believe it's not only your Sun sign that is causing detriments to your life, but many other factors as well. Probably you may also have some internal Neptune-Moon delusion of wanting to 'save' someone who has a worse problem than you.

 

I'm not going to be your counsellor, but I suggest you do find one. A professional one.

 

You say your mom has depression and your grandma has cancer, and ALL YOU CARE ABOUT is this hooker???? Seriously?

 

Your own mother who gave life to you, and your grandma who doted on you all your life, you're not caring for them... but here you are "woe is me" because of one prostitute that you just met?

 

Look, you cannot save someone who does not want to be saved. She goes into this lifestyle now and it's her choice. She had a chance to escape but she refused. She merely used you for your money and she has probably never loved you. It was a dysfunctional "relationship" from the start.

 

What is so good about a broken woman? There are heaps of mentally-sound good woman out there that you can devote your obsession to, and yet you choose a train-wreck.

 

I'm sorry but you need to think about your priorities. She is NOT your world. You were conned and duped and you need help NOW.

 

Please seek therapy and find solace with your family and friends who actually CARE about you.

[mightycpa]

If you know my story, you will understand why.

Highly doubtful. But that said, I see that I was wrong. I think she will be back. More on that in a bit.

 

Two things can come from your experience. You will feel bad about it, I'm sure that's both necessary and inevitable. And, the second thing, is you will either learn or you won't.

 

I'm not sure what causes a man to go completely bonkers when he meets a girl, even if he falls in love. You, my friend, you went completely off the deep end. You meet this hooker, somehow you become emotionally involved, decide that you're going to save her from herself by throwing money at her problems, and you deluded yourself into thinking that she's some normal girl who got in trouble. I suspect that the only evidence you had of that is what the hooker told you.

 

Lesson #1 - don't get emotionally involved with hookers.

Lesson #2 - you pay a hooker only after you have received services rendered

Lesson #3 - you don't believe whatever a hooker tells you, except for the price quotation

 

You may have to get used to feeling like an idiot, but I hope you can forgive yourself, and let this go. She was never your girlfriend. You were the patsy and she was the swindler in this story. It's that simple. It is not a romantic tragedy, it is a story of the victim of a crime.

 

I have no doubt she will come back to you, after some short time. She will cry and apologize and tell you she loves you AND SHE WILL HAVE A PROBLEM THAT MONEY CAN CURE. You're a proven sucker who parts easily with his money, and that's the only reason why I think she'll be back... to see if the well has run dry, or if there is more money in the ATM. So, when she DOES come back to you, you need to remember that it is not for love. See Lesson #3 above. Then find out if the police can help you recover your money, and if they can't, find out if they can help get rid of her for good.

 

I hope this didn't ruin you financially or otherwise. I hope you don't let it ruin you in the future.

[ExpatInItaly]

I read your story.

 

I still find your behaviour highly inappropriate and disturbing. I don't see where she was ever really your girlfriend, either. She's a prostitute who took a lot of money from you. Do you mind if I ask how old you are? You say this is your first girlfriend, but also that you sent several thousand dollars to her. So I'm guessing that you're not so young, given that most people simply don't have that kind of money yet. If that's the case, this woman probably sensed the fact that you'd be easy to exploit for money given your lack of relationship experience and apparently poor judgement.

 

Having said that, you still have zero right to claim that someone will "always" be your girlfriend. That isn't your choice. She had every right to tell you leave her alone. You need to learn to respect boundaries and not be so aggressive and invasive. She said no. She shouldn't have to tell you that more than once. You're damn lucky you didn't get yourself arrested.

 

Harsh, but you needed to hear it. The problem isn't your ex-girlfriend. It's your scary level of attachment and need to control. Please bring this thread to the attention of your counselor (NOT a hypnotherapist) and ask for coping strategies. This break-up is only a manifestation of much deeper problems you need to address before you wind up in serious trouble.

[Armageddon]

Thanks for clarifying that you're a Pisces, you see, I'm an aspiring astrologer and I do see certain characteristics in some people. I believe it's not only your Sun sign that is causing detriments to your life, but many other factors as well. Probably you may also have some internal Neptune-Moon delusion of wanting to 'save' someone who has a worse problem than you.

 

I'm not going to be your counsellor, but I suggest you do find one. A professional one.

 

You say your mom has depression and your grandma has cancer, and ALL YOU CARE ABOUT is this hooker???? Seriously?

 

Your own mother who gave life to you, and your grandma who doted on you all your life, you're not caring for them... but here you are "woe is me" because of one prostitute that you just met?

 

Look, you cannot save someone who does not want to be saved. She goes into this lifestyle now and it's her choice. She had a chance to escape but she refused. She merely used you for your money and she has probably never loved you. It was a dysfunctional "relationship" from the start.

 

What is so good about a broken woman? There are heaps of mentally-sound good woman out there that you can devote your obsession to, and yet you choose a train-wreck.

 

I'm sorry but you need to think about your priorities. She is NOT your world. You were conned and duped and you need help NOW.

 

Please seek therapy and find solace with your family and friends who actually CARE about you.

 

My ex-girlfriend is a Gemini and she told me when we were together, our horoscopes don't match up well. I don't know how true is that but I usually don't believe in horoscopes as I think it's superstition but like you, my ex is also an aspiring astrologer and she is very well-versed in astrology and horoscopes. She would always study astrology in her free time - reading up articles and watching YouTube videos of horoscopes.

 

I have already seen two psychologists this week but it's still not helping me honestly.

 

My mum had depression because of my relationship with her but of course my family don't know about her past. They think that she is using me and she's very disruptive to my life as I lost my job because of her. I know what you are saying but I didn't choose to fall in love with her. Maybe love is blind. Even though I know she used me, I'm still willing to get used by her if she comes back to me. I just can't let go...

 

I'm not sure if she is back to her old lifestyle but 3 day after breaking up with me, she has a new boyfriend so I highly doubt but I don't know if her new boyfriend is supporting her financially and if he doesn't, is she going to escort herself again? Worst still, what if their relationship breaks down, is she going back to her old life? This is why I can't let go because I always worry for her.

 

 

Highly doubtful. But that said, I see that I was wrong. I think she will be back. More on that in a bit.

 

Two things can come from your experience. You will feel bad about it, I'm sure that's both necessary and inevitable. And, the second thing, is you will either learn or you won't.

 

I'm not sure what causes a man to go completely bonkers when he meets a girl, even if he falls in love. You, my friend, you went completely off the deep end. You meet this hooker, somehow you become emotionally involved, decide that you're going to save her from herself by throwing money at her problems, and you deluded yourself into thinking that she's some normal girl who got in trouble. I suspect that the only evidence you had of that is what the hooker told you.

 

Lesson #1 - don't get emotionally involved with hookers.

Lesson #2 - you pay a hooker only after you have received services rendered

Lesson #3 - you don't believe whatever a hooker tells you, except for the price quotation

 

You may have to get used to feeling like an idiot, but I hope you can forgive yourself, and let this go. She was never your girlfriend. You were the patsy and she was the swindler in this story. It's that simple. It is not a romantic tragedy, it is a story of the victim of a crime.

 

I have no doubt she will come back to you, after some short time. She will cry and apologize and tell you she loves you AND SHE WILL HAVE A PROBLEM THAT MONEY CAN CURE. You're a proven sucker who parts easily with his money, and that's the only reason why I think she'll be back... to see if the well has run dry, or if there is more money in the ATM. So, when she DOES come back to you, you need to remember that it is not for love. See Lesson #3 above. Then find out if the police can help you recover your money, and if they can't, find out if they can help get rid of her for good.

 

I hope this didn't ruin you financially or otherwise. I hope you don't let it ruin you in the future.

 

She isn't really a normal hooker as strange as this sounds. She had no choice because back then, she had no passport and she overstayed in Thailand for 4 years so she was an illegal immigrant and she had to support her family. All the money she earned from her customers, she gave ALL to her family. She sacrificed herself for her family. It's never for herself, which is why I took sympathized her and I respect her so much for this. I told myself I'll never ever let this woman suffer again. I'll explain this in a bit in my next post.

 

You said that you're sure she will come back to me after some short time? When do you think she will come back to me? She has a new boyfriend now though. I don't know if she will ever come back to me and I highly doubt she will come back after everything that has happened. She told me she don't want to see me anymore and she's so tired of this. Me disappearing from her life will most likely be a huge sense of relief to her. I just really hope to hear from her again and if she can come back to me, it will make my life complete.

 

The police can never recover the money for me because technically speaking, I gave the money voluntarily to her and it was to her country in Uzbekistan. Now she is living in Thailand. Yes, she has already ruined me financially and I lost all my savings on her. Now I'm trying to rebuild my career again.

 

 

I read your story.

 

I still find your behaviour highly inappropriate and disturbing. I don't see where she was ever really your girlfriend, either. She's a prostitute who took a lot of money from you. Do you mind if I ask how old you are? You say this is your first girlfriend, but also that you sent several thousand dollars to her. So I'm guessing that you're not so young, given that most people simply don't have that kind of money yet. If that's the case, this woman probably sensed the fact that you'd be easy to exploit for money given your lack of relationship experience and apparently poor judgement.

 

Having said that, you still have zero right to claim that someone will "always" be your girlfriend. That isn't your choice. She had every right to tell you leave her alone. You need to learn to respect boundaries and not be so aggressive and invasive. She said no. She shouldn't have to tell you that more than once. You're damn lucky you didn't get yourself arrested.

 

Harsh, but you needed to hear it. The problem isn't your ex-girlfriend. It's your scary level of attachment and need to control. Please bring this thread to the attention of your counselor (NOT a hypnotherapist) and ask for coping strategies. This break-up is only a manifestation of much deeper problems you need to address before you wind up in serious trouble.

 

I'm 24 and my ex is 25. I'm relatively successful for my age because I'm apparantely gifted so I skipped a year in school so I'm always one step ahead of my peers. I run a one-man digital marketing company where I work with high-profile celebrities, brands and theatrical movies. However, I lost a lot of clients because of my relationship with my ex. I was also earning $84,000 annually in my previous job and it's above average for my age because most people my age are still in Universities or fresh graduates.

 

I appreciate your harsh comment and I guess the reason why she left me was because I'm too needy and clingy. She always told me that I'm not a man and I'm like a baby, I'm worst than her 10 year old sister. However, before you judge me, I'm about to write out my story with her so you can understand why I went crazy. I just don't understand why a human being can be so cruel and dump you aside after everything you've done for her...? Is this really the end?

Edited November 8, 2015 by Armageddon

[Itspointless]

I became her boyfriend in June and from June to September, I've been sending $5000 to $6000 every month to her and her family. All in all, I spent about $50k on her. I told her that when we come back to Thailand, I cannot give her any more money because I want her to love me for who I am, [...]I confronted her about that man and she admitted to me he was her new boyfriend. I was brutally beaten up, slapped and strangled by her and her best friend and this is the most humiliating experience in my life. I went down on my knees, begged and cried and refused to leave unless she come back to me. She threatened to call her mafia and told me that he would come up with the police and they would beat me and lock me up in jail and I’ll be deported. I uninstalled my WhatsApp and never contact her from that day since.

If this is all for real than you never had a relationship, you have been used. The only thing that was interesting was your money. Until the well went dry and you kept chasing her (literally). Her new boyfriend was always the one who was her boyfriend. Cheating almost always is the case when when people have a new lover that fast. She did not just cheat, everything she did was a lie.

 

I'm relatively successful for my age because I'm apparantely gifted so I skipped a year in school so I'm always one step ahead of my peers. [...]I appreciate your harsh comment and I guess the reason why she left me was because I'm too needy and clingy. [...]I just don't understand why a human being can be so cruel and dump you aside after everything you've done for her...? Is this really the end?

She did not leave because you were needy, she was needy and you became annoying when she couldn't exploit you any-more. It is really the end as it has never begun in the first place, sorry.

 

Take care of yourself by using your giftedness to immerse yourself in therapy, as you clearly seem to have missed love while skipping years in school.

[Popsicle]

I remember feeling like I was going to die when I had my last break up. The pain was so intense, it was hard to make it from day to day. It lasted a while too. I'm really sorry you're going through this. You'll be okay though, in time.

[Popsicle]

I'm confused though, were you two long-distance or not? Are you trolling us?

[Armageddon]

I remember feeling like I was going to die when I had my last break up. The pain was so intense, it was hard to make it from day to day. It lasted a while too. I'm really sorry you're going through this. You'll be okay though, in time.

 

I'm sorry to hear you also went through a devastating break up. Thanks for your words. How long did it take you to truly get over your ex?

[Armageddon]

I'm confused though, were you two long-distance or not? Are you trolling us?

 

No I'm not trolling, why would you even think so? We were in a long-distance relationship during the period when I was her boyfriend, from June to September and when we were reunited in Thailand, she broke up with me 12 days later.

[Popsicle]

No I'm not trolling, why would you even think so? We were in a long-distance relationship during the period when I was her boyfriend, from June to September and when we were reunited in Thailand, she broke up with me 12 days later.

 

Because I didn't understand the timeline. Thanks for explaining.

 

I still don't get why she and her friend would beat you up, physically. That's a huge sign that she never respected you.

 

I have noticed on this forum when things like this happen to a poster, the offender often gets diagnosed by forum-goers as having bipolar disorder (BPD). This is not something I necessarily believe in but it seems to resonate with many posters so you may wants to look into the disorder.

[Popsicle]

I'm sorry to hear you also went through a devastating break up. Thanks for your words. How long did it take you to truly get over your ex?

 

The first 6 months the pain was so acute, I couldn't function or think rationally. I was just a mess. At the 9 month mark, I started functioning like a normal person but still hurting a lot. At the 1 year mark, I had fully accepted things (that it over and what had transpired) and the pain morphed into something dull but I still thought about him everyday. At the two year mark, I met someone else, and poof, the ex was gone instantly out of my mind. I was totally into the new guy.