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If the dumpee disappears completely from the dumper's life...


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So after 43 day of NC, my ex reached out to me on Skype yesterday night and messaged me 'Hi how are you?".
Hmmm... my 91 year old grandmother dies, I fly back to the old country, and when I reach out to my most recent ex, who stalked me by jet plane into another country, and humiliated himself in countless ways, I open the dialog by saying "hi, how are you?"

 

I don't think so.

 

Do yourself a favor. It may not feel like a favor, but it is. Ditch her. Have no sympathy. Everybody's got problems and tragedy in their lives. Hers is hers. Don't get sucked in.

 

This girl, by all normal standards, should treat you as if you're radioactive. The fact that she has contacted you means that she's just as psychotic as you seem to be. Ordinarily, this would be fine, but your particular brand of psychosis seems to cause you pain. This pattern will not go away. You want pain in your life? Then this is your girl.

 

Find a psychopath who will give you happiness, not one who delivers pain on and off. I know it will be difficult to find someone like that, but she's out there right now, and you might miss your chance if you keep obsessing over this nutjob who everyone can see is plainly wrong for you.

 

There's a reason you chose Armageddon as your screen name. Live up to the name. End it.

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From what I know, she loves her family especially her mum and grandmother. I don't think she will make up such an absurd lie, especially when it involves a death of a loved one.

You will be surprised what people lie about. But it doesn't matter what she made up or not. In the end she got you beaten up and in debt. Remember what I said before, women like these may get you murdered somewhere down the line.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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I went back to Thailand to see her. Initially, I saw her message and ignored her for 4 days. I couldn't resist it the next day as I was really worried for her and I still care deeply for her so I called her but hung up 3 seconds later as I didn't know what to say. 15 minutes later, she messaged me on Skype "Hey" and I replied to her "How are you?" and she said "And you" and we started talking again. She told me that she has to go back to prostitution because her house burnt down and her family needs her and I told her that I did so much in the past because I didn't want her to go back to that life. She thanked me for everything but she said there is no other way. I tried to convince not to but she said she would go back to the brothel tomorrow. I told her she still have me and she should wait till I come back and I'll meet up with her to discuss her problems to see how I can help.

 

The following day, she messaged me again at night saying she is in big trouble because her ex-boyfriend made a false police report. He lied to the police that she stole his gun and 400,000 baht ($16,000) from his house because she left him and now the police are looking everywhere for her, so she can't go outside. She can't even go back to her country.

 

I booked a one-way ticket to Thailand on that night she told me about this problem because I was really worried about her. I flew back to Thailand last Wednesday night but she made me wait three times. I was supposed to meet up with her on Wednesday night but she didn't turn up, then she told me she would meet me last Thursday morning but she didn't turn up, same thing happened again on Thursday night. Then she told me that her grandmother's funeral ceremony is the last day for tomorrow and she has no money to send back home so she is basically hinting to me to help her. I tried to change the subject and she brought up this again and asked me if I could help but if I couldn't, she would understand. I told her to come meet me first and we'll talk about this. She came to my hotel the following day and oh my...she is in such a terrible shape. I even had to pay for her taxi as she has no money for taxi. She showed me pictures of her burnt house and her grandmother's ceremony and we talked for an hour about her situation.

 

I gave her $800 and sent $400 to her family.

 

I had to fly back home on Monday and she came over to stay at my place on Sunday night and we had sex. I was supposed to check out of the hotel on Monday but she told me she has no place to stay right now because her best friend's husband is back so she asks if she can stay at my hotel, so I paid $1000 for 2 months of rent at my hotel for her. Honestly, I feel crap but I don't know why, I just have to help her.

 

What amazed me was that she left her ex-boyfriend after only a month and a half. I tried to ask her why she left him and she told me that she left him because he was crazy.

 

Unfortunately, she still haven't change as she is still very disrespectful to me. She said I have never changed too because I always ****ed her mind but I was just being concerned about her well-being. She would start shouting at me if I was late for just 5 minutes yet she is late all the time for hours and days.

 

Now she is staying over at my place and I have no idea what to do. I feel like a sucker and I know I'm going to get criticized for not heeding everyone's advice but I just know that I can't control myself. I just know I have to help her.

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Why are you asking for advice? You didn't take any of the advice you got the first time around. You continue to be a patsy who keeps going for this woman's sad-sack stories. Nobody here can help you.

 

edit: I really hope this is just one great fabrication on your part, because if not, this is one of the most wretchedly pathetic stories I've ever paged through.

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Why are you asking for advice? You didn't take any of the advice you got the first time around. You continue to be a patsy who keeps going for this woman's sad-sack stories. Nobody here can help you.

 

Because like what you said, contact from her is what I've been craving and I finally got it. Is it possible to change her?

 

No this is not a made up story. I can private message you all the screenshots of my texts with her if you don't believe me.

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Because like what you said, contact from her is what I've been craving and I finally got it. Is it possible to change her?

 

No this is not a made up story. I can private message you all the screenshots of my texts with her if you don't believe me.

 

Nobody can change anyone. Understand that, first and foremost. And no one can change if they don't want to change. Nothing you've said about this girl says she wants to change. She doesn't love you and, jeez, she doesn't even respect you.

 

You shelled out a couple grand after she had you BEAT UP and even then, she isn't being nice to you. Do you know why? She thinks you're pathetic. She'll gladly take your money. The Catch-22 of that is that each time you "help" her via giving her another stack of cash, she actually feels even less respect toward you. But she knows she's got her patsy in you. The cycle will continue so long as you have money to burn. If the day comes when you don't, you'll be astonished by how quickly she vanishes from your life.

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The original question has been answered:

 

If the dumpee disappears from the dumpers life......

 

The answer is: if the dumper has just been using the dumpee and their other supply has run out then yes they will come back to a "sure thing."

 

In this instance she will come back but only when her supply of money runs runs out.

 

Heck my ex is a user too (although I didn't least know at the time). Maybe he will be back when his supply of sex runs out. In a perverse way this has given me hope

Edited by Amelie1980
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The original question has been answered:

 

If the dumpee disappears from the dumpers life......

 

The answer is: if the dumper has just been using the dumpee and their other supply has run out then yes they will come back to a "sure thing."

 

In this instance she will come back but only when her supply of money runs runs out.

 

Heck my ex is a user too (although I didn't least know at the time). Maybe he will be back when his supply of sex runs out. In a perverse way this has given me hope

Haven't read the latest instalment, but I see I was right, she just is using you for your money. Sorry dude, you are doing what codependents do, enabling them in their sick behaviour.

 

Are you still sure it wasn't a scam from the beginning? You wont be the first who has lost everything to groups that are deceiving emotionally unstable and rich people.

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Ok, I have read it. It still can be a scam you know?

 

I agree with Blanco that we cannot change other people. You wrote: 'I can't control myself. I just know I have to help her.' I think this is not true, my bet is that acknowledging the truth at this point is too harsh a reality. You cling on to the bits that are thrown at you, just as I did. But there comes a time that we have to draw a line, when you see how destructive something is. I had to draw that line for myself at the end of march 2014. I just had to, as I noticed that my life had come to a halt and it wasn't getting any better. I knew that the only way was to face the truth. I wish it was different, but some things in life are out of our hands, like my ex her unavailability due to her troubled childhood.

 

You said that your family would never let you fall. I do not understand that they let you go to her again. How is that even possible if they love you?

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  • 4 months later...
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Ok, I have read it. It still can be a scam you know?

 

I agree with Blanco that we cannot change other people. You wrote: 'I can't control myself. I just know I have to help her.' I think this is not true, my bet is that acknowledging the truth at this point is too harsh a reality. You cling on to the bits that are thrown at you, just as I did. But there comes a time that we have to draw a line, when you see how destructive something is. I had to draw that line for myself at the end of march 2014. I just had to, as I noticed that my life had come to a halt and it wasn't getting any better. I knew that the only way was to face the truth. I wish it was different, but some things in life are out of our hands, like my ex her unavailability due to her troubled childhood.

 

You said that your family would never let you fall. I do not understand that they let you go to her again. How is that even possible if they love you?

 

I know from an outsider's perspective, it's easy to be cynical and say that she is just using me for my money and this could be a scam but believe me, this is not a scam. She came to Thailand since she was 16, she came to Thailand to find money so I can't say she is using me for my money.

 

Because my family knows I am extremely stubborn and once I have made up my mind on something, they can't change my mind. They love me so they reluctantly accepted who I love.

 

A lot has happened between me and her since my last update on this thread since December last year. She came back to me because I helped her with the problem she had caused by her ex. We started our new life in Thailand in January and have been living for over 3 months, from January to April. Of course we fought a lot during our time together but I can see that she has changed in a way but I'm in a situation now whereby I don't even know what to do.

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Haven't read the latest instalment, but I see I was right, she just is using you for your money. Sorry dude, you are doing what codependents do, enabling them in their sick behaviour.

 

Are you still sure it wasn't a scam from the beginning? You wont be the first who has lost everything to groups that are deceiving emotionally unstable and rich people.

 

Nobody can change anyone. Understand that, first and foremost. And no one can change if they don't want to change. Nothing you've said about this girl says she wants to change. She doesn't love you and, jeez, she doesn't even respect you.

 

You shelled out a couple grand after she had you BEAT UP and even then, she isn't being nice to you. Do you know why? She thinks you're pathetic. She'll gladly take your money. The Catch-22 of that is that each time you "help" her via giving her another stack of cash, she actually feels even less respect toward you. But she knows she's got her patsy in you. The cycle will continue so long as you have money to burn. If the day comes when you don't, you'll be astonished by how quickly she vanishes from your life.

 

To answer you guys, actually I have already lost everything. My business failed and I lost my job in January. I borrowed 20 grand from the bank to help her with the document of her house but all the money were used up in 3 months. However, even when I had no money, she still stayed with me.

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Itspointless

Hi Armageddon, it is good to hear from you. In the end we make our choices and we need to do so. I just hope that it doesn't hit you hard at some point. You seem to have lost so much already. I really hope this - and lessons you probably will be learning - are worth it. I still think your username is really on point here though.

 

Keep us posted once in a while.

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I'm really lost with the whole story, are you back together?

 

If so I am really concerned for you mental health is she was to leave again it seems you handled it bad the first time.

 

I have a son and it hurts me to think that you put yourself in this position.

 

My first boyfriend behaved as you did the first time and in all honesty had he not of chased me and behaved that way is of stayed with him but he frightened the life out of me and ended up been sectioned.

 

This was over 24 years ago he too was my first love and first everything and we where only together 6 months...

 

I do not speak to him after what he put my family through and me he tried to run me and my mum over, would ring my house every night and say he would burn us all in it. He would be forever trying to commit suicide and as hard as it sounds I wished he had managed to at the time because of the trauma he put me through.... He broke into my house thinking I was in there on my own because he wanted to kill me.

 

In all honestly he took away my youth and had damaged me forever.

 

Please get help and stay away from her if you are together as this maybe be a problem for you in relationships. Take care

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This woman is nothing but an anchor attached to your foot. She does nothing but drag you down further and further. The weird thing is that you have the key to unlock yourself but for SOME strange reason you refuse.

 

Let's recap:

 

*she's a prostitute

*she had you physically assaulted

*sent the mafia after you

*dumped you via text

*uses you for your money

*has caused you to lose your business

 

Nothing about this person is positive. She's a black energy, a soul sucker. Do you really hate yourself so much that you insist on staying?

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I sincerely hope you can eventually come to know that true love builds us up, not tear us down and leave us with nothing but the other person.

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Mind-Chants
Because my family knows I am extremely stubborn and once I have made up my mind on something, they can't change my mind. They love me so they reluctantly accepted who I love.

 

Let me give some psychological insight to it. Every decision we make is the output of interaction between emotional center and rational center of brain. The balance is critical. Overt rational decisions mostly hurt others and overt emotional decision hurt self. Being stubborn is only going to hurt yourself. People here have been very patient with you trying to give you a good emotional scaffolding so that you process your emotions considering the consequences. No wonder you are confused. I know you find easy of hide behind the mask of LOVE, you will be surprised to know that (as it seems to me you have no idea) love is a two way street. You both meet half-way.

 

As you have argued that she stayed with you when you didn't have money, i say read other things too. I feel it is a biased statement based on a single positive event which you are using to justify your actions. She strangled you, choked you, kicked you and sent violent mob behind you - Man you have some pretty low self esteem. Work on yourself. Even if your relationship works, you would still be pretty messed up.

 

On a curious note, what was her explanation for the violent acts and how you feel about it ???

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Not sure if anyone else brought this up but you said she got with someone 3 days after you both broke up, sounds like thats the reason for the break up maybe? I think she was talking to someone while you both were together? You don't suddenly start dating someone 3 days after a break up...

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P/S sorry for my English, English is my -2 language

 

LOL you're crazy man.

 

My conclusion about your problem, & relationship etc.

 

First lover, because she's your first lover, you turn to be blind. Stupid. Desperate, Codependency. Stupid, stupid and stupid.

 

In my life, I have experienced couple with so many this type of girls.

 

My first lover, college girl, that turn out to have sugar daddy, (very good in lying too) even just 6 months of relationship.

After getting dump, its so so so ****ing pain as ****. Due too first lover, because you're still NEW in this game. :cool:

 

Typical, i become panic, and even started to imagine to accept, I try to change her, pity her, da dada dada all of those bull****.

 

This is nothing more than brain "manipulation" and tricky.

 

I push my self to start date another innocent girl. After 4-5 months boom! The pain is gone. I forget her...

Even the first month, my life is hell, keep thinking about her, and crying every single day. But now after thinking back to the past, i feel how stupid i;m? You will feel this too after 1-5 years from now. Trust me.

 

 

Long story short, i broke up with my new gf. Another broke up.

 

(after finish study)

 

Then i meet thai girl. Model, working in club. Another breakup.

(but hey, at least i got experience and start to understanding more about relationship & women).

 

And then i meet another beautiful thai massage girl, younger, intelligent, the only girl i cant **** even offer her much money.

 

(And the only girl in my life, i meet that have a perfect body like model)

 

I couple with her 2 years. And just breakup 2 weeks ago. Pain like **** till now! But of course NC, and I just waiting for her to contact me next month (she promise), to meet, and well.. for friend, and for last **** i suppose? LEL. If she contact me back, if not ok, i just move on.

 

This girl (massage girl) is my first time, i couple with a girl more than 6 months BTW.

 

She stop working, and i support her by giving $1000 permonth. I ok with that since I have my own business earning $10K+ permonth.

 

So $1000 is peanut.

 

After 3 days similar with OP, my 2 years ex already update new relationship on FB. Another pain.

She said that boy is just a friend, more like rebound to forget me. Because before I ask her to remove that status on fb she do it. Only this time she wont.

 

But well, in my life, i already have enough experience with women. Various. I thanks too all my ex, for teaching me and make me become like this.

 

Turn out to be "strong" man.

 

And not to mention reading a book by Coach Corey Wayne "How to be a 3% of man" and watching all his video.

 

 

Really opened my eyes and my mind.

 

 

To OP, come on. Stop torturing your self. Stop delude your self. Come on, i will go to thailand next man, lets hang out together, ONYX, PIMP, INSOMONIA, i will bring you to a very high quality club +VIP.

 

I will bring you (date) with a very high quality women, models, innocent college girl, that's will make you forget your ex and realize how stupid r u. Hehehe.

 

 

Remember, it's not your job to help her, if she itself choose that road.

Just like my past ex, club, pros, massage you name it. They choose it. Because its easy, 20-30 minutes of work = $100-$200

 

:D

 

Believe me, and always believe this, there are billion of women's out there, that's more beautiful, more charmed, loyal, & have a very good personality.

 

I know you won't understand this because this is your "first lover", but trust me, i also in the same basket, again, it's just DELUDE your mind.

 

But based on you gf story, i think that more's ****tt. She just 1000% love your money & try to use you mate.

 

 

Leave her for good,

Forgive for what she's done to you.

Pray she will have a better future life.

Move on.

NC.

& Face the pain, while going for a new date, Thailand brahhh... So many beautiful and loyal girls.

 

-END-

 

 

 

P/S i on NC mode right now, with pain too. will goes club, or college or what ever it was to finding new girl. finding more beautiful, more good personality, will instant make you forget the pass.

 

 

P/S oh n i almost forgot, i also got prostitute ex too. But i dump her, overall shes perfect. she only work below than 1 week, because she got cheated with her friend(tot just work in the bar), after meet me she straight stop working, and change her job to do nail n stuff, very loyal, not a gold digger etc. the reason i dump her, due too her personality that's too childish, and very easy to get anger over small things. well, i think that's the karma i need to face (for right now). :p

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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ChickiePops

Hope you're using extra strength condoms...just saying..

 

Now that you're broke, expect to be unceremoniously dumped. This chick is a mess.

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  • 1 month later...

This was the wildest story I've ever heard on LS!

 

Three questions...

 

When you chased after her on a motorcycle, was it your bike or did you commandeer it from someone else?

 

Are you guys still together?

 

Third...why not start up a new business in Thailand? You made so much money...surely you can do it again?

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