Woggle Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 My wife was talking to her college age niece who is working a retail job and was upset about some nasty customers and she said that once you accept the fact that people in general are a holes you will live a peaceful life. She said that she has me, her friends and her family so the way the rest of humanity is doesn't phase her because she expects people to be like that so don't take it personal. We were also talking about the election and she said that every single candidate running is out for themselves and corrupt but the Clintons at least stick their finger in the air and go with what the people want. I hate to think that being around me is giving her a darker view of the world because she used to be a more positive person. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 Yeah, that can totally happen. My ex-husband's cynicism rubbed off on me. It wasn't till I left him that I realised how sad and cynical I had become. It's good that you've had this epiphany. Perhaps it's time to give yourself a kick up the rear end? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 It's good that you've had this epiphany. Perhaps it's time to give yourself a kick up the rear end? ^ ^ This. ^ ^ Find something good to be thankful for EVERY DAY. Comment on it. Revel in it. Share it with your wife. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 When you're with someone for years....part of their personality can rub off on you. My family members have commented that aspects of my H have rubbed of on me...and it's true. It's good in some ways.... but it's not my natural self. It's mainly that my H is very tenacious..... when he starts doing something...he won't stop until it's done. No matter how difficult it is....he keeps thinking of solutions and tenacity is great in this situation. If he buys something and it has a fault...he will complain and if the shop or manufacturer tries to be funny about it....my H will persist and persist, he will escalate the matter until they relent. Most people wouldn't have the tenacity to persist for months and years if needs be, but he does. His persistence in that regard has rubbed off on me and my family have said it. Not to him though.....They wouldn't want to cause offence. Link to post Share on other sites
avintagegirl Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Yes, I have a person that I work with who is very negative and "in the end it doesnt matter anyway" sort of person. I have to be very careful that I don't adopt that attitude after working with this person for too long. We rub off on people more than we know. I have a friend of mine who said to me once, I hate to use bad language around you. It feels so wrong because you never talk that way. If only he could see me now! j/k maybe.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted November 8, 2015 Author Share Posted November 8, 2015 I asked her if it was me that was rubbing off on her and she said no. She it is just very frustrating when you try and be a decent person and treat people the way you would like them to treat you and you see how modern society is almost the antithesis to that. She said if you have a soul modern society can be depressing at times. I tend to share those views but she said she came to it on her own. I really am thankful for the good things but it is really hard not to shake your head at the world we live in. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Yeah, that can totally happen. My ex-husband's cynicism rubbed off on me. It wasn't till I left him that I realised how sad and cynical I had become. It's good that you've had this epiphany. Perhaps it's time to give yourself a kick up the rear end? I was going to make the same comment. I was married to one of the most cynical men on the planet. He was a good man but very cynical about everything. I was not that person before I met him or even while I was dating him but eventually I could feel myself changing during our 20 year marriage. Like Basil67, I didn't realize just how much rubbed off on me until I divorced him. I can't tell you what a relief if was to be out from under that. These days, I can't be in his presence for more than 15 minutes before I'm drained and reminded just how grateful I am not be part of that negativity anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Hopefully it's you rubbing off on her and not her natural personality coming out. But the bad news about that is if it's not her natural personality, she'll get tired of not being herself and tired of you being a crankprik and thus turning her into a crankyprik and then she'll leave you. So stop being a crankyprik before she leaves. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 I really am thankful for the good things but it is really hard not to shake your head at the world we live in. There's good and bad in every situation, person and day, we make a choice in which aspect we choose to emphasize. Two people can have the same experience and take away completely different opinions based on their outlook. Also, positive people know there's no real skill involved in pointing out the world's problems, anyone can see them. "This sucks" doesn't impart much valuable information. Woggle, put some pressure on yourself to be the type of person you'd like to spend time with... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 (edited) I asked her if it was me that was rubbing off on her and she said no. She it is just very frustrating when you try and be a decent person and treat people the way you would like them to treat you and you see how modern society is almost the antithesis to that. She said if you have a soul modern society can be depressing at times. I tend to share those views but she said she came to it on her own. I really am thankful for the good things but it is really hard not to shake your head at the world we live in. And if my ex-husband had asked me that while we were still together, I would have said the same thing. It wasn't until after the fact that I realised how much his attitude had rubbed off on me. Now, about how the modern world doesn't go along with 'treat others as you would like them to treat you' thing. You know why it doesn't work? Because it's a stupid saying. Thing is, we're not all the same. When he's ill, my husband wants to be LEFT ALONE. So, when I'm ill, he treats me how he wants to be treated. Except that when I'm ill, I want someone who pats my head, checks in on me and brings me cups of tea. Yet if I bring him head pats and tea, he gets cranky. Yes, this is a very basic example - but it's exactly the reason the whole expectation of treating others as ourselves doesn't work in real life. I've got friends who have different ideals to me as to how often friends should see each other and talk. Instead of treating them how I want to be treated, I respect how THEY want to be treated and act accordingly. Yes, there are some unsavoury people in the world. But there are a great many good ones too. No need to be cynical. Edited November 8, 2015 by basil67 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted November 8, 2015 Author Share Posted November 8, 2015 I am not cranky towards her at all and I don't push her away but I admit I feel there are only a few people in this world I can really trust. In person I am actually a lively and friendly person but people have to earn my trust. We have been married for nine years and it is only recently that she has been thinking like this and it is usually after seeing some horrible story on the news. Link to post Share on other sites
Horton Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 My wife was talking to her college age niece who is working a retail job and was upset about some nasty customers and she said that once you accept the fact that people in general are a holes you will live a peaceful life. She said that she has me, her friends and her family so the way the rest of humanity is doesn't phase her because she expects people to be like that so don't take it personal. We were also talking about the election and she said that every single candidate running is out for themselves and corrupt but the Clintons at least stick their finger in the air and go with what the people want. I hate to think that being around me is giving her a darker view of the world because she used to be a more positive person. I guess I'm cynical too, cause I don't see the problem. Politicians ARE full of sh*t and a lot of people ARE rude a-holes. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 The thing is you don't realise that your partners behaviour is rubbing off on you. TBH it's hard not to be cynical with politics and other world news but I think the day to day interaction is more important. Like how you relate to each other and with family and friends. I find I can be more cynical in elements of my work. Like when people phone in sick right after you've pointed out some of their shortcomings. But the good thing is.... your good qualities will rub off on her as well (hopefully) Link to post Share on other sites
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