dawn duval Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 Here's my original story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t59045/ Anyway, very soon after that post I decided to go NC. Well, to the extent we can -- we have to email each other because we have a project for work, but those are kept to business and occur about once per week. Going NC helped me sort out my original problem -- getting over my previous marriage -- but did not help diddly in helping me get over my ex-bf! But I took up surfing in the meantime though. And btw, I highly recommend surfing as a way to get your mind off your ex for a while -- all I'm thinking about is not drowning to death! So, since I felt I was making progress on the previous marriage issue, I wanted to write my ex-bf to tell him that and that I wanted to be with him. But I wanted to make absolutely certain I was stable, so I'd write letters and hold on to them, and make myself wait and wait until I was sure. Don't want to mess up again basically. After I was sure, I sent him a letter, making it clear that I love him and I want to work things out, but tried not to sound too pathetic. He's gonna get that letter tomorrow probably, and I'm suddenly not feeling as optimistic as I did before. Now I fear that my attempts to sound "not pathetic" made me come across as flighty, or not remorseful enough. In reality, I guess he either does or doesn't want to be with me, and my tone won't influence things too much. Not like I could have write the perfect letter and it would suddenly make him want to be with me. Since that's true, does anyone have any magical love potions I can use? I'm freaking out!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 Magical Potion.. Tiempo... Give things (Yourself and Him) Time. You've done all you can do, said all you can say.. Now let Time make you feel better and show you a different perspective. Hang in there Link to post Share on other sites
Author dawn duval Posted May 27, 2005 Author Share Posted May 27, 2005 and tiempo is what it shall be, apparently. No word from him yet, and uh...not to sound obsessive, but I've been making lists. Here goes: He would have responded to me by now if: 1. He was way eager to be back with me, hopelessly in love with me, 100% confident yes. (yeah, I didn't think this was likely) 2. He cared about me as a friend, but doesn't want to be with me. Basically if he felt sorry for me and wanted to minimize this drawn out agony. Since he hasn't responded by now that means either: 1. He HATES me and is outraged at my nerve 2. He's undecided The more time passes without responding, the more outraged or confused he is. I was pretty convinced of these until I considered the possibility that it's a definitely no and he's just kinda annoyed and never intends to respond. That's consistent with what a friend told me recently about guys basically just wanting to avoid conflict. But then I thought, who could resist the opportunity to dump someone who dumped you in the first place, even if you sympathize with their reasons. I was considering assigning probabilities but I'm still trying to get my head around the avoiding conflict thing. That's a grey area that leaves me a little uncomfortable. When I work out an appropriate model, I'll let ya'll now. For now, it's definitely time to distract myself with some exercise. Link to post Share on other sites
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