mortensorchid Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Eight years ago I met a man on Match.com. I had just gotten out of a LTR/LDR that lasted about two years, and I was on a bit of a rebound thinking. I just felt neutral about him, he was someone to pass the time with and getting over that bump. He was a religious man who talked about going to church singles' events and things, and he was a bit on the nerdy side. I thought "ok if that floats your boat", everyone's go their things, fine with me. And then he told me that he had some kind of a mental illness which had caused him to be hospitalized. It had a name that I don't remember now. He said his mom and dad were driving him back from college one day because he could no longer take care of himself. As in take care of himself, he had had some kind of a breakdown and was no longer able to function, spent a few weeks in the hospital, etc. He refused to take medication for reasons I forget now. This made me a bit unnerved to hear this, I think most people would be once they learn this about another person. One day I got an angry voice mail from him after I had not returned his phone call for about two days saying "I do not like being ignored, I want a call back." I decided then and there to get rid of him. So one day I called and invited him over for a Sunday dinner with me and three guy friends. They were not over the top, but I figured the presence of having me and three other guy friends was intimidating for him. This guy was demanding, it was all about him, and yet when push came to shove he was just a wimp. The next day, he called and broke it off. We were friends on MySpace and he unfriended me (because it was in the MySpace days). I figured that was that and moved on. Six months later, out of the blue, I get a friend request from him on MySpace. Out of curiosity, I accepted it. He said to me via emails there that he felt very guilty about how he just ended things and how he treated me so badly and hoped we could be friends. I asked how and why he chose to break it off. He said when he came over to my place that day he felt like this was my world and he didn't fit into it. And he was also disgusted by the fact that I smoked cigarettes, that's revolting. (I'd like to point out it seems ok with him that he can be bothered by the fact that I smoke cigarettes, but it's not ok that I am bothered by his having a mental illness.) I said, ok, so it is. I figured that was that. He also said that he had a girlfriend now, things are/were very serious now. A few weeks later, I bumped into him at a concert. He was now engaged to be married, I said I was happy for him. Honestly, I was, because he had this to distract him from me. The next day, he writes me an email through MySpace asking if I wanted to get together and go to this other concert with him in a few weeks, his fiancee didn't want to do it. Was I interested? I did not respond to it right away, and sometime in the next 24-48 hours after he wrote it he called me a whore via email and unfriended me a second time from MySpace. A week later, I get another friend request from him. That time I said "Forget you!" and blocked him. Two years later he sent me an email through another profile on MySpace saying he really felt he made an error in judgement when he did what he did, he wanted us to be friends still. I've changed, God has shown me the way, etc. You are probably reading this now thinking "Wow, he sounds crazy as hell". And I agree completely. I told him where to go. I did some spying on Facebook and I see that he and the woman he married are divorcing after seven years of marriage. They didn't even know each other for a year. I got the impression while I was with him (before he told me about the mental illness) that he was very VERY eager to have someone in his life, and he was NOT GOING TO WAIT. Why I'm not sure, of course. But it was a bad sign. I can't imagine the nightmare that must have unfolded, either to marry someone you don't even know or with a crazy, self centered man like him to deal with. And yet, rather sad as well. Story about dodging a bullet. Link to post Share on other sites
NoLeafClover Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Who calls their bf over while having three guys over just to make the bf feel less self centered though... Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 That guy seems to be one of those type of people who have bypassed the brain and hard wired their emotions to their mouth/actions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted November 11, 2015 Author Share Posted November 11, 2015 Who calls their bf over while having three guys over just to make the bf feel less self centered though... I did. It worked. For this I feel proud of myself. He was so intimidated by my being with three other guys that he left, even though he was somehow insisting on being the center of the world. Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I did. It worked. For this I feel proud of myself. He was so intimidated by my being with three other guys that he left, even though he was somehow insisting on being the center of the world. But ... you said in your OP that you had decided then and there to get rid of him, and THEN had him over for dinner? And then HE broke it off?? :confused: I don't understand all of that but I agree that it's good things went no further. Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 You may have dodged a bullet but you've sure spent a lot of time allowing yourself to be in the line of fire getting shot at. He does sound nutty, but what does that make you when you keep staying in contact with him??? Link to post Share on other sites
purplesorrow Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Why stalk someone you think is crazy? Link to post Share on other sites
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