itisdanielle Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 I need some advice/tips on how to stop dwelling on negative thoughts. For me at the moment it is about an ex, but I didn't want to post in the break up board as the topic isn't necessarily about breakups - I'm thinking the methods will be helpful for any kind of negative thinking. I'm not necessarily trying to stop thinking about it completely. To learn from the situation and truly heal I don't think I can just ignore my feelings. However, I find myself dwelling on thoughts that do me no good. It can be really distracting from work etc. Any tips on how to change my thinking? Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Can you clarify what you mean by negative thoughts? From my perspective usually a negative thought is a projecting one skewed with judgemental opinions. Prefer though for you to give examples... so it can be reframed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author itisdanielle Posted November 8, 2015 Author Share Posted November 8, 2015 Yes of course. Sorry the post wasn't very clear. So for example, with the ex situation, I'll spend a lot of time worrying about things that I don't actually have any facts to base these thoughts on. Usually things like how perfect I bet his life is without me, that he's probably already happy with someone else etc. He cheated on me, but instead of being angry at this and thinking 'phew, better off without someone like that' most of my thoughts are of what I could have done to make him want to do that. It seems to have become a bit of a pattern with most areas of my life. I've started to put off university work because I dwell about failing and getting a bad grade. Sometimes I will get that carried away in a spiral of negative thinking that I end up convincing myself if I suddenly wasn't here it would make no difference. My mind has become a very exhausting place! Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 you're not living in the present. try focusing on the present, the things you are doing right now, the actions you are taking, the day you are living. it sounds weird, but it's when you are living beyond just today that the thoughts get all whack and negative, because you're thinking of things out of your sphere and control. it might also be too much free time so you're not properly occupying your mind with things to take it off of the bigger issues. Link to post Share on other sites
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