Dealing with daddy issues when..

[changeofseasons]

..you can't resolve them with your father.

 

I've always at the back of my mind knew i had unresolved issues with my dad and miss having an older man to not help me out or just, y'know, act like a dad. I never wanted to admit that i had daddy issues because the portrayal of women that have these issues in entertainment are the most unattractive women ever. So I just kept pushing it to the back of my mind and denying it until a friend of mine told me about how she has progressively built a better relationship with her father and her issues have lessened, which made me admit it and be proactive about these problems that sometimes hinder relationships.

 

I'm not an expert on this subject, but my dad passed away almost 3 years ago, would it be possible to get rid of my issues without having my dad around? I know my situation isnt unique, im sure others have gone through this but im curious if anyone on here has gone to therapy for this. Like i said im new to this subject, please dont tell me to google it, 5 mins into using google and i got sick of seeing stupid memes so i'd like to get some personal opinions or thoughts.

[d0nnivain]

I'm not going to spell this right but find a therapist who specializes in gestalt therapy. It involves talking to somebody who's not there. The therapist acts as a surrogate.

[MissCongeniality]

I'm not going to spell this right but find a therapist who specializes in gestalt therapy. It involves talking to somebody who's not there. The therapist acts as a surrogate.

This is the best advice I think. I have issues with my father to. The point is that no matter what you do you can't change the past. It's probably to late for me but not you so just okay look don't compare life to TV okay? You've got Daddy issues? Sweetheart we all have Daddy and Mommy issues. The point is just don't let them define you dig down deep find what you want to say write it down and keep doing write out how you feel or go to his grave or something and say what you feel be sure to let everything out and then take a good look at how you are feeling.

[Ruby Slippers]

I have a very disappointing father, and most of the progress I've made in accepting the circumstances has come from within. He's still alive, but it's very difficult to talk to him and reason with him. So I've learned to better accept that he's very limited in his capacity to be a decent parent and that will almost certainly never change.

 

Talking to my siblings was helpful, as I learned that he treated all of his kids poorly, not just me. He was even physically abusive with some of them when he was younger. I got plenty of other types of abuse, but I was lucky to avoid the physical.

 

If you can learn to simply accept the fact that you were dealt a bad card with your dad, and make the best of your life in spite of it, I think that will help more than anything.

[Heer]

I'm so sorry your father passed away:( I hope you ca find peace in the fact that your father loves you despite the problems or conflicts you may have. Your situation is a bit different because your father passed away. I'm sure you loved him and he loved you despite what he said or what he didn't say. If I were you I would talk to your mum or maybe a very close friend. I'm so sorry for your situation.

 

I also have problems with my father because he was so busy when I was young and we never really bonded. However, I've made progress the last few months and we have gotten closer. I feel that my daddy is a bit reserved and fearful of intimacy from me. Each time I hug him he pulls away but now he hugs me close and we've gotten closer. He's even kissed me and honestly he rarely does that.

 

I hope you find your father in your heart and don't forget, he's looking down on you from above:)

[turnera]

My therapist basically told me I had to go through the Stages of Grief to accept I got a bum deal on a dad and to deal with it.