Male Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 5 Scientific Reasons Why Women Just Won't Go For The Nice Guys "It’s like we just can’t help ourselves. We want those arrogant dicks who make us somehow feel alive" LOL This is exactly why nobody should "feel sorry" for women when they go for the ahole....get hurt, then come crying to friends and family looking for sympathy, telling everyone how Johnny hurt her feelings. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 I did not see any science in that article at all. I love a guy who can debate me. I'm brash, outspoken & opinionated (& really you can't tell that from my time on LS? ) If he can't keep up, I'm not interested However simply because someone enjoys a robust debate does not make him a jerk or a narcissist. While I don't mind toying with those guys in a bar, I learned decades ago to leave them on the stool where I found them. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Male Posted November 9, 2015 Author Share Posted November 9, 2015 I did not see any science in that article at all. Yea, not much other than the weak studies they listed. But I feel its pretty much common sense all the stuff mentioned in the article. I learned pretty much all of that stuff about many women before I graduated high school. I love a guy who can debate me. I'm brash, outspoken & opinionated (& really you can't tell that from my time on LS? ) If he can't keep up, I'm not interested I wish I could find more women like you. Where I live, it seems I'm surrounded mostly by women that just dont know much about the world, even generally speaking. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 (edited) I've always been drawn to nice guys. Kindness and emotional intelligence, thoughtfulness... that ignites passion in me. Jerky behavior does not ignite passion in me. It totally douses my insides in cold water. Done... yuck. BUT... like Donnivain stated above, challenging someone in a heated debate and being intellectually stimulated by someone who is provoking meaningful thought in you, has nothing to do with being a jerk. Some of the best and kindest people I know are also those who are capable of having an amazing back and forth debate on a topic, on a totally opposite side of the fence for that topic than I am, and do so RESPECTFULLY, and we both can leave that debate having felt that it was totally awesome and that we both learned a great deal from each other. No one has to be a jerk to stimulate passion... Edited November 9, 2015 by Phoe 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Male Posted November 9, 2015 Author Share Posted November 9, 2015 Jerky behavior does not ignite passion in me. It totally douses my insides in cold water. Done... yuck. Theres many women that do find it attractive. Just as the article states, some women get sucked in, thinking they need to "out jerk" the jerk by playing the same game and trying to get one over on him. I think it feeds the ego of some women in a weird way. As I've stated before, I personally know a few married couples where the women totally hated their husband the first time they met. But somehow even those women became attracted to the biggest ahole they had ever met. Being just nice and polite, and treating women with respect does not work most of the time, especially in the under 50 crowd. And the younger you go, the more you can act like an ahole, and still get the girl. Older women nowadays will of course make statements that they wouldnt put up with behavior like that. Yea, right now you wont...but I guarantee you did 25-30 years ago. What I find amusing is that there will always be women that try to extinguish the whole topic, and act like its a very small percentage of insecure women with issues that do stuff like that. But anyone that isnt biased, knows damn well that majority of women are guilty of it at one time or another in their life. And one of the biggest mysteries of all, is the part of the article that talks about women not learning from their mistakes. That is something I just dont understand. And again, its not a small percentage of women, its a huge mass of the population that continually falls for jerk after jerk, and getting used, hurt, and burnt by guys over and over. Its like they have no memory of what happened the last 3 times they went for that type of guy. Most women love drama. Period. They love it in their relationships, they love hearing about it with their friends or family, they love hearing the drama of their co-workers, they love watching it play out on soap operas and reality shows, its just an endless fix that many of them cant get enough of, and dating the types of guys that the article references helps feed the need. Link to post Share on other sites
bradfordpear Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 Most women like a man who is actually nice. You know, a real gentleman who is not trying to work out a sex algorithm. That category of men we call "nice guys" who actually don't like women? Yeah, they are not attractive at all. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Male Posted November 9, 2015 Author Share Posted November 9, 2015 (edited) That category of men we call "nice guys" who actually don't like women? Yeah, they are not attractive at all. Most players, cheaters, and womanizers dont like women either...but women have proved since the beginning of time that they are extremely attracted to them. So trying to say that women dont like guys that dont like them is absolutely untrue. Edited November 12, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fix quote Link to post Share on other sites
qubist Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 the article wrongly assumes that Bad guy= Alpha male, and bad guy= strong or physically attractive. there are lot of bad guys that are as ugly as an onion. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 Theres many women that do find it attractive. Just as the article states, some women get sucked in, thinking they need to "out jerk" the jerk by playing the same game and trying to get one over on him. I think it feeds the ego of some women in a weird way. Most women love drama. Period. They love it in their relationships, they love hearing about it with their friends or family, they love hearing the drama of their co-workers, they love watching it play out on soap operas and reality shows, its just an endless fix that many of them cant get enough of, and dating the types of guys that the article references helps feed the need. I never cared for drama but in college I did the whole bad boy thing. I was kind of a female player. The guys who every girl said to stay away from, I was drawn to like a moth to a flame but I only wanted the thrill of the chase. As soon as I "tamed the beast" & had the so called bachelor bad boy eating out of my hand, I was done & on to the next one. The secret was I never gave them my heart because I knew they couldn't be trusted with it. They'd play their usual games but I'd change the rules. They would try to jerk me around & be unavailable, I'd show up with a date or flirt with their roommate. It drove them crazy that I wasn't chasing them & crying that I'd do better or whatever else they needed to hear. Because I didn't care, they couldn't get enough. It was all very empty. Fun but lacking in substance. It was also just fine for college. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 I think I'm going to write an article and title it "5 scientific reasons aging single women are desperate for the nice guy" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 Watching how long marriages which surround me have worked, in some cases for a couple decades or more of watching, it's not so much that "Most women claim to want the guy who is sensitive, emotionally fluent and intimate", rather that they want the man they are attracted to demonstrating those personality characteristics after they are emotionally attached. The most successful, and I describe that by using reproductive and social success as determiners, guys are those who are attractive and dole out those aspects as described in the quote from the article in amounts sufficient to keep the want satiated but still just enough out of reach to inspire further want and attraction. It's a finely tuned, probably purely instinctive, feature of one's personality which, yup, some guys have and others don't. So, here I'm typing this message and an AARP commercial pops up and we have the stereotypical fumbling, slightly overweight, middle-aged guy plowing around in his goofy shorts on the beach to lay out in the sun and get burned and then the same-aged, suited up model of a man prances out and places an umbrella over the poor sops head. Heck, I don't even know what AARP was advertising because I was laughing so hard. That's the kind of gender stereotyping men deal with. I lulz. IMO, women like who they like. Out of my control so give me a fishing pole. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 5 Scientific Reasons Why Women Just Won't Go For The Nice Guys "It’s like we just can’t help ourselves. We want those arrogant dicks who make us somehow feel alive" LOL This is exactly why nobody should "feel sorry" for women when they go for the ahole....get hurt, then come crying to friends and family looking for sympathy, telling everyone how Johnny hurt her feelings. It's about 18-24 year olds. By a young woman whose twitter page and self-description are a wee bit short of deep or knowledgeable. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 It's about 18-24 year olds. By a young woman whose twitter page and self-description are a wee bit short of deep or knowledgeable. Plus it's designed and written as total clickbait! I think the real question here is why men and women both are drawn like moths to the flame to these poorly researched, highly unscientific articles that exist only to confirm their worst fears about themselves and others. That's sort of like the same impulse that leads people to seek out bad boys/girls. Hmmmm. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 Plus it's designed and written as total clickbait! I think the real question here is why men and women both are drawn like moths to the flame to these poorly researched, highly unscientific articles that exist only to confirm their worst fears about themselves and others. That's sort of like the same impulse that leads people to seek out bad boys/girls. Hmmmm. Yeah. I agree. I admit I fell for clickbait this morning on a FB post that Gov. Rick Perry had threatened a judge who was shot last Friday. I bawled out the "news" source and hid/deleted their feed. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 a man needs to know how to turn a women on emotionally Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 In the past, I would systematically fall for self proclaimed 'nice guys' who, after a few months, turned out to be actual 'bad guys' (no cheating or physical abuse, but most everything else between them all). My BF is kind, thoughtful, intuitive, funny, accomplished, polite and sexy; incidentally, he has also not once described himself as a 'nice guy' - that's how I know for sure he is one... 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 Whoever wrote this article is an idiot. If you want a nice girl which you should if you want a happy relationship it pays to be a nice guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bradfordpear Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 Most players, cheaters, and womanizers dont like women either...but women have proved since the beginning of time that they are extremely attracted to them. So trying to say that women don't like guys that don't like them is absolutely untrue. I will qualify that. Smart, confident women don't like jerky men. Most women don't like men who claim to be nice but secretly don't like women, whine about unfairness, and blame women for all of their troubles. Because while we can have fun with a jerk for a couple of dates, a whiny victim isn't even fun for 5 minutes. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 My guy is super nice to me, and I picked him at 17. I wouldn't call him a "nice guy", though. He's tough when needed to protect his family. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Male Posted November 9, 2015 Author Share Posted November 9, 2015 Plus it's designed and written as total clickbait! It may be click-bait, but the meat of the article rings true. Just because 2 or 3 offended women on a forum scoff at its claims doesnt mean its not true. Anyone that isnt biased will have no trouble admitting that women in general are attracted to the stereotypical bad boys. Its been going on long before any of us were born, so I never understand why theres always a handful of women that try to suffocate the subject when it comes up. YOU may not fit into the category, but many other women do. So just let it be, you dont need to come in guns blazing and try to discredit the entire topic. But that seems to be the norm on this forum no matter what guys say about women. Theres always a small number that try to defend all women, as if they never do anything that anyone accuses them of doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 There's a difference between "nice" and "good" guys. Women with a good head on their shoulders want a "good" man (gentleman, confident, strong, sweet, won't tolerate crap). No one, man or woman want a "nice" person. "Nice" guys have no backbone, they are always available, they give when they aren't getting any reciprocation. Women who go for "bad boys" either got issues and/or mistake jerks for someone who has "strength". I think "bad boys" are on the same level of "nice" guys. ..they both lack self confidence, but express it on opposite spectrums. Bad boys don't turn me on. Actually, along with "nice" guys they wreak of insecurities. Strive to be a "good" guy...a man who holds his own and only treats a woman who deserves and/or earned his time/care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 Well, here's how the author, who apparently has penned 321 articles for that particular web portal (I looked at some others for continuity), describes herself: Gigi Engle is a Staff Writer for Elite Daily, covering all things sex and love related. She's completely insane, but in a good way Indeed. And apparently young. One privilege of life is our free will to change our mind on topics as we move along the path of life. Heh, now I'm seeing a redux of Trump on SNL. Whoa, is his daughter stacked or not? Oops, that's not very nice. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 It may be click-bait, but the meat of the article rings true. The problem is that those studies all focused on small samples of upper middle class almost certainly white university aged "women". Most university aged women are just barely women and in many ways can be more like old full grown girls. They are a boundary case. Realize and remember that about them and they are quite manageable. Don't worry about women until and unless you are age 25 to 45. Those are the ages where it really counts. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 Also, yes, aloof and/or people who aren't attainable may also intrigue both men and women, cuz yeah, we all value something/someone who we have to "work" for...no one likes anything that comes to them too easy (ie a nice guy). But, people who chase "bad guys" cuz they're jerky, again, either have issues, love the "chase" rather than the person, probably like drama, and/or simply mistake the jerkyness as something worth pursuing. I'll work with a dude, I may give one, or even one hundred chances, but not if I realize I dealing with a jerk. I mean, I can come off as not interested when in fact I'm really into someone...it may even appear that I'm being a jerk. But I'm guarded until the person makes me feel at ease and I open up and am so sweet that I guess you can say I'm having a diarrhea of mouth and emotions. I also sorta am slow on picking up if someone is interested in me... So, over all I appreciate when a guy will take the time to actually look past my tough extrerior and get to know me and that's one reason why I'll work with a dude that appears to be aloof...but again, if I find out he's playing games to "appear" like he's a "bad boy" and/or he's just a jerk...I'm out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Male Posted November 9, 2015 Author Share Posted November 9, 2015 No one, man or woman want a "nice" person. "Nice" guys have no backbone, they are always available, they give when they aren't getting any reciprocation. I will NEVER understand what is unattractive about a guy being "always" available. How insane does a woman have to be to stick that label on a guy??? Where in the world did it even come from???? Girl: I called Jim yesterday and asked if he'd like to go see a movie friday night...he said yes. So I told him I dont want to see him anymore because he's always available everytime I ask him to do something. Am I the only one that dissects these labels and sayings....and realizes how most of them make no sense whatsoever??? If a guy is trying to date a woman or hang out with her, how is making yourself available a bad thing????? But no....in our stupid f*cking backwards society....as a guy, you're supposed to always make a game of it and "pretend" that you are busier than you are, because godforbid if the crazy dumb chick you are trying to date might misinterpret your being available for having no life!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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