2.50 a gallon Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Coming out of high school, I was a nice guy. I worked hard to put myself thru college, made enough money to buy me a pick up truck. In college I made lots of friends, including the cheer leaders. When ever they asked I was nice enough to help them move. My thinking was this might lead to me getting a few more dates. Instead they gave me a couple dollars for gas and a thank you. Then I changed, you want me to spend the day lifting and carrying your things, move them a few miles, then another couple of hours carrying your things into you new place. I've got better things to do with my days off. So if you make it worth my while, such as a couple of BJ's I might consider it. Hardly any other guys had trucks, so my sex life took off. Out of college I was still a nice guy, and though my sex life was OK it could have been better. That is until a lover of mine, she was divorced and not looking for a relationship, told me "You're too nice of a guy. Ladies love outlaws" I changed my outlook on life, from looking for Mrs. Right, to that of a partier just looking to get laid. I filled my fridge with several flavors of Boones Farm, different kinds of beer, and in the side door I kept two bottle of cheap champagne. My sex life went into orbit. Then I bought a fast motorcycle, and my sex life went to the moon. Women, including so called nice girls, literally began knocking on my door. Link to post Share on other sites
buck3200 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Coming out of high school, I was a nice guy. I worked hard to put myself thru college, made enough money to buy me a pick up truck. In college I made lots of friends, including the cheer leaders. When ever they asked I was nice enough to help them move. My thinking was this might lead to me getting a few more dates. Instead they gave me a couple dollars for gas and a thank you. Then I changed, you want me to spend the day lifting and carrying your things, move them a few miles, then another couple of hours carrying your things into you new place. I've got better things to do with my days off. So if you make it worth my while, such as a couple of BJ's I might consider it. Hardly any other guys had trucks, so my sex life took off. Out of college I was still a nice guy, and though my sex life was OK it could have been better. That is until a lover of mine, she was divorced and not looking for a relationship, told me "You're too nice of a guy. Ladies love outlaws" I changed my outlook on life, from looking for Mrs. Right, to that of a partier just looking to get laid. I filled my fridge with several flavors of Boones Farm, different kinds of beer, and in the side door I kept two bottle of cheap champagne. My sex life went into orbit. Then I bought a fast motorcycle, and my sex life went to the moon. Women, including so called nice girls, literally began knocking on my door. We used to have parties that included a 5 gallon water bottle filled with 2, 1/2 gallons bottles of cheap vodka, a can of Hawaiian Punch mix, and topped of with water. We called it "The lay drink":cool: Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 the article wrongly assumes that Bad guy= Alpha male, and bad guy= strong or physically attractive. there are lot of bad guys that are as ugly as an onion. Yep, the article is very befitting for ls. Bad boy=any man who is attractive to women I even started a thread abt this awhile back-the evil good looking man. Ugly men must have good traits, attractive men are bad bu default. Why oh why do women find attractive men attractive? I just...i just cant figure it out!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 A lot of self proclaimed nice guys in actuality have huge ego needs and are invested in the image of being nice, rather than in the actuality of providing for a woman's emotional needs. I agree with the first part -- realizing something I said or did may have irritated or offended someone is like hearing fingernails on a chalkboard to me. I do my best to just let it go if an apology is not really warranted, but it's very much an effort to do that. I guess I'm not seeing the link to meeting a woman's emotional needs -- why doesn't wanting to be nice help with that? I think most women want a kind man who shows emotional closeness after he is attached to her. It's just that a lot of so called nice guys seem that way in the beginning, but don't deliver emotional closeness once it is actually called for. I think those of us with "nice guy" tendencies run into more trouble by showing sensitivity and emotion too early. It's such a tightrope -- without an alpha/player/partier exterior, sensitivity and emotion can so easily be seen as weakness instead of something special shown just to his partner. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 My current squeeze is not a nice guy. He can be kind, generous, and thoughtful. He is also assertive with a strong personality. Ive never felt like he does things for me solely to get sex. He loves showing me new things. He even took me for a ride on his motorcycle. I guess i dont like bad boys. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 I don't know if anyone else has followed the links to the scientific study the linked article is based on, but here are the actual results of the study: Overall results indicated that both niceness and physical attractiveness were positive factors in women's choices and desirability ratings of the target men. Niceness appeared to be the most salient factor when it came to desirability for more serious relationships, whereas physical attractiveness appeared more important in terms of desirability for more casual, sexual relationships. Gotta love science. Gotta hate click baiting. Reposting because yes. And because people really need to read this. Link to post Share on other sites
htmshsj Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 (edited) Mehh... I might be wrong, but I think it's actually rare that I see women genuinely attracted to jerkness alone. The guy they're usually into has other positive qualities that they're attracted to, and as a result they kind of try to overlook the jerk part. If the same guy was generally pleasant/funny/positive, they'd probably be ecstatic. Older (30+) women generally don't seem to put up with jerkness at all (probably learned from previous experience that it was a lost cause, even if the guy seems to have a lot of other positive things). And then there are other things that tend to get guys accused of being jerks that might not be so jerky after all. Sometimes "jerk" equates to "doesn't like me back." Sometimes the guys aren't looking for relationships, and if they're honest about that, it makes them a "jerk." Now, I think there are some oddball women (and men too) that seem to not be able to carry on a relationship without it being some kind of constant uphill struggle. It's almost like they need things to be hard work in order to validate the relationship and prove to themselves that they're good, worthy people. But the thing that makes the relationship a struggle doesn't necessarily have to be that the significant other is a jerk--it could be a number of other things, however they always seem to pick people with the same issues even when they don't have to. To be fair, there are plenty of men out there that will suddenly put up with a ridiculous amount of garbage to be in a relationship with a woman that is "hot." And we don't shame men because they don't give "nice" women a chance. Because we know that every dude is willing to give a nice woman a shot--as long as she's hot. Edited November 12, 2015 by htmshsj Link to post Share on other sites
HopeForTomorrow Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 I don’t know what ‘nice’ even means in terms of men. I dated some nice guys in my past, and it was BOOOORING. I am an independent woman. I boss people around all day – that’s my job. I don’t want to be with someone who is a doormat and has no strong sense of himself and no opinions on anything and can’t make a decision to save his life. I want someone who is strong willed and opinionated and who will stand up for himself and won’t take crap. I want someone who isn't afraid to call me out. Who isn't afraid to make the decisions. The article tries to equate ‘alpha male’ with ‘arrogant a**hole’ which is wrong. Alpha males aren’t insensitive, narcissistic jerks. By definition, alpha is a positive way to be. Comfortable with himself… passionate… composed… driven. High morals and values. Natural leader. Problem solver. Poses a challenge. Not afraid to face his faults. Confident. Sensitive, and not afraid to be so. None of those things are negative in the least. But it is a lot easier to get along with someone who has none of those characteristics, because you can run right over them. No thanks. That’s where the ‘boring’ comes in. I am always drawn to alpha men. Not the jerks because that is an entirely separate thing. The one twisting my head around right now is probably as alpha as it gets. And boring it is definitely not. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 And then theres those that are realists...who see the world and people for what they are, instead of wearing blinders. Find people that are sincere, empowered and happy to be your friends, your community, and your view of people and the world will change. And don't watch shock TV! Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Interestingly I was never ever into bad boys. They turn me off. Probably had a few nights of fun with the bad ones, but I never got into any of them. I've been around... but usually trying to go for the good guys. Those are the ones I have always searched for and still do. Hard to find these days. There seems to be a weird correlation that I run into too often unfortunately: usually the good guys left are kind of losers professionally, it seems that's the main reason they become "good"... as they can't be really arrogant and think too highly of themselves when they are not that successful by society's standards. Ugh :/ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Bad boys lie cheat emotionally and physically abuse women yet are never alone at nights Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Bad boys lie cheat emotionally and physically abuse women yet are never alone at nights Mmm Hmmm, sure . Like attracts like. Nice/*ss, good/bad, smart/stupid, big/thin, short/tall, wealthy/poor.....blah, blah, blah. It makes for a good debate but at the end, people are attracted to what is comfortable and similar. Women who are attracted to 'bad' boys are for an internal reason. Men who are attracted to mean girls are for an internal reason. There's no magic. Human beings are internally driven toward what they want. Those reasons may be as dysfunctional as a Jerry Springer show but that is where they are and who they are right now. People choose others based on what their priorities are. For every woman who chooses a jerk, there are equal who choose a man of integrity, and vise versa. I will wager that a person complaining of not meeting others with similar values are simply looking at the wrong people in the wrong places. There is no hoodoo in the voodoo....just many that don't know themselves as well as they think they do and in too much of a dam hurry to 'have' someone that they do.not.need. Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 3200 Jungle Juice, we called it in college in the 60's, same recipe, only difference, we collected the drippings, of empty, whiskey, rum, tequila and added that when we had a half or more bottle. Every once in awhile we would get our hands on a bottle of PGA, Pure Grain Alcohol, and mix it with orange koolaide. Then invited the coeds out for a big booney party. It always turned into an orgy, but still they came. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Bad boys lie cheat emotionally and physically abuse women yet are never alone at nights Seriously guys. Read the results of the study. It proves this is pure ideological drivel. Overall results indicated that both niceness and physical attractiveness were positive factors in women's choices and desirability ratings of the target men. Niceness appeared to be the most salient factor when it came to desirability for more serious relationships, whereas physical attractiveness appeared more important in terms of desirability for more casual, sexual relationships. The study shows women favour being nice and physically attractive equally. Nice was more salient when looking for a relationship (and most women are looking for relationship) where physically attractive was favoured for casual sex. The study wasn't about nice guys versus nice boys. It was nice compared to physically attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
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