feeling behind in a sense?

[amyO]

I've posted on here a lot, and I'm sorry if I repeat myself. (And sorry for this being very long!!)

 

I'm 23 years old, and lately I've been feeling like I'm so behind everyone. I know truthfully I am not, but my insecurities are awful.

 

I've never really had a true, proper, boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Since I was 18, I've been "together" with a couple of guys. These were short-term type relationships. But again, nothing serious or official. We would be together for a few months. One of them was a strange relationship where we were together for a few months and then talk or see each other on/off for a year. He was my first "love."

 

I've had flings,hookups and have been on dates and have talking to plenty of guys. However, nothing seems to transform into a typical, committed relationship. That is the reason why I feel behind. I feel most people at my age have had a normal relationship that has lasted at least a year.

 

I know in college, a lot of this was my fault. I was going through a lot of tragedy in my life and was dealing with personal issues. I was obviously not in a good mindset and these relationships mirrored that. I was attracted to and accepted men that only wanted to have sex with me, or were emotionally unavailable or were very immature. My self esteem was so poor. I felt i wasn't worthy of someone great.

 

I feel even now, I still attract the wrong men. my self-esteem is better, but with dating it's not. I know I deserve a good guy and want a healthy committed relationship, but i'm scared I'll never experience that. I fell for a really good guy at work and was hoping something would come of it, but it was bad timing and he started dating someone else. This past experience hurt me greatly.

 

I've tried online dating, but again last year, I allowed myself to date someone that wasn't good for me. This past year, I've been going on dates. However, I feel frustrated that things won't work out with the right ones.

 

I'm a pretty girl, who has a kind heart. BUt I feel pathetic that I can't meet a good person and have a good relationship. It truly worries me

[d0nnivain]

I had a number of casual BFs, nothing more then a few months when I was your age. I didn't want anything serious. Around your age my relationships started to get longer. It wasn't anything conscious on my part other then I maybe noticed that several of my friends were starting to get engaged & married. I found the idea of forever overwhelming at that point.

 

Stop trying to plan out your whole future. Concentrate on trying to find somebody you click with & then see if that can be built into something more substantial.

[JuneJulySeptember]

As far as falling behind, some people never get anybody, either in a committed relationship or for a fling, in their entire lives. So, think about that for a moment.

 

It's really easy for a pretty or cute or really any woman reasonably close to average to get into a committed relationship with a good loyal guy. There will literally be a line unless you are unstable or total high maintenance. The only problem is you probably won't be physically/gut attracted to those guys.

 

Maybe go out with one anyway. I've always wondered why women will have flings and short relationships with all these hot guys and/or jerks who use them for sex, but never a fling with the nice doormat. It's not like you're marrying any of them. If I were a woman ...

 

Lol, ok, that's it for me.