My hair is a total mess!

[S_A]

Hi everyone,

 

So here is my issue. I used to have amazing hair. I am 32 now and my hair is not what it used to be. For the past 3-4 years or so, my hair has become pretty dry and wiry. That's the best I can describe it. It makes it impossible to do the stuff I used to do with my hair. It never really bothered me that much though and I sort of just accepted it, until a couple days ago. It bugs me now. I think it bothers me now because I am single again and available to date (got dumped recently, ending a 5 year relationship).

 

My question is, is there anything I can possibly do to help make my hair feel and look healthy again? The problem with the current texture of my hair is that when I style it, strands of it get loose now. Like loose strands poke out from where they should be and those strands have a wiry and coiled up look to them. It just looks awful. When it is freshly styled, it will look good for 30 minutes tops, and then out come the wiry strands of hair. Oh, and if there is wind, forget about it; wiry strands everywhere (it's windy now in LA, too).

 

Are there conditioners and shampoos that anyone can recommend to help deal with this? I have not used hair styling products for a while now because of this. Even when my hair was normal, I did not use hair styling products all the time, so I doubt hair styling products caused this. When I use hair styling products they are all natural and water soluble. I firmly believe that my hair styling products did not cause this.

 

Right now I am using a leave in conditioner called Unite 7Seconds Condition Leave In Detangler. It's pretty awesome. I use it every day. It helps, but the problem is far from solved.

 

I am thinking I need to change my shampoo and conditioner. Or at least my shampoo (I've spent like a 100 bucks on some fancy conditioners this past week).

 

I am open to any idea. Don't even care if its a luxury product or treatment. I want to remedy this because my hair sucks right now.

 

Thanks!

Edited November 10, 2015 by S_A

[S_A]

I have also tried not washing my hair, but there are two problems with this. First, my hair is not oily. It takes forever for it to get oily, so I'd have to go a long stretch of time for my hair to benefit from the natural oils it needs. The other problem is bed-head. Bed-head is one of those chance things. Sometimes the bed head looks awesome just the way it is when I wake up. Other times, it looks like a total mess so I need to wash it. I just would not be presentable at work otherwise. This means that I can't leave my hair unwashed for a long enough period of time because there is bound to be that one bad bed-head day that just screws it all up.

Edited November 10, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[KatZee]

I have pretty crappy hair. It never knows what it's doing.

 

If I wash it and let it air dry, 1/4 of my strands are curly, 1/4 is wavy, 1/4 is straight, and the last 1/4 is a puffy mess.

 

It's super thick, coarse/wiry in certain areas, dry, prone to breakage at the ends, split ends.

 

If there's even 1% moisture in the air, there's no point even blowing out and flat ironing my hair, it'll be 10 feet in all directions b/c of the humidity.

 

Sounds pretty bad, right? It was.

 

And then... I found the magic solution. And it costs next to nothing, and you probably have it in your cabinets.

 

1. Coconut oil (purest you can find. I get mine from Trader Joe's $5.99)

2. Extra Virgin Olive Oil (any kind. I get mine from Trader Joe's $6.99)

 

In a bowl, mix 3 TBSP coconut oil, 1 TBSP EVOO. Mix, mix, mix.

 

Coat your entire head. Clip it up and take it down in sections so you soak every single strand of hair. Once it's all in your hair put it in a clip and put on a cloth headband so the oil doesn't drip down your neck, and just leave it. Leave it in as long as possible. When I do it, I do it from anywhere between 45 mins to 1.5 hours. I'll stick it up and watch a movie.

 

Then shower. You're gonna need to shampoo twice to make sure it's all out.

 

Towel try the hair, blow dry, flat iron as usual.

 

You can do this once a week, or once every two weeks.

 

The oils don't just coat your hair, but they actually get absorbed by the hair follicle, and it reinstates all the moisture you're missing in your hair.

 

I went to a wedding this past weekend, did the oil mask the night before. It was humid the next day, and not even one strand puffed.

 

Makes your hair super soft and shiny too.

 

Oh, and "fancy shampoos and conditioners" are a load of garbage. It's just nonsense chemicals that mask any real fixing of the hair. The best shampoo/conditioner for thick, dry, wiry hair, is Aussi. I use their 7-1 Miracle Shampoo/Condition, and their 3-Minute Miracle deep conditioners.

[S_A]

KatZee that sounds awesome! I love Trader Joe's too! I have time to go now (its 8:00pm here). Should I shampoo beforehand?

 

 

Clip it up and take it down in sections so you soak every single strand of hair.

 

 

I'm a guy by the way

 

 

... I know... I know... I'm not some high maintenance guy btw. If I were, this would have bothered me years ago.

Edited November 10, 2015 by S_A

[KatZee]

KatZee that sounds awesome! I love Trader Joe's too! I have time to go now (its 8:00pm here). Should I shampoo beforehand?

 

I'm a guy by the way

 

 

... I know... I know... I'm not some high maintenance guy btw. If I were, this would have bothered me years ago.

 

Woops!

 

No. You add the mask to your dry hair. And since you're a guy you definitely don't have as much hair as I do, you could probably get away with 1 TBSP CO, and 1/2 TBSP EVOO.

 

 

[lilmissjava]

I have pretty crappy hair. It never knows what it's doing.

 

If I wash it and let it air dry, 1/4 of my strands are curly, 1/4 is wavy, 1/4 is straight, and the last 1/4 is a puffy mess.

 

It's super thick, coarse/wiry in certain areas, dry, prone to breakage at the ends, split ends.

 

If there's even 1% moisture in the air, there's no point even blowing out and flat ironing my hair, it'll be 10 feet in all directions b/c of the humidity.

 

Sounds pretty bad, right? It was.

 

And then... I found the magic solution. And it costs next to nothing, and you probably have it in your cabinets.

 

1. Coconut oil (purest you can find. I get mine from Trader Joe's $5.99)

2. Extra Virgin Olive Oil (any kind. I get mine from Trader Joe's $6.99)

 

In a bowl, mix 3 TBSP coconut oil, 1 TBSP EVOO. Mix, mix, mix.

 

Coat your entire head. Clip it up and take it down in sections so you soak every single strand of hair. Once it's all in your hair put it in a clip and put on a cloth headband so the oil doesn't drip down your neck, and just leave it. Leave it in as long as possible. When I do it, I do it from anywhere between 45 mins to 1.5 hours. I'll stick it up and watch a movie.

 

Then shower. You're gonna need to shampoo twice to make sure it's all out.

 

Towel try the hair, blow dry, flat iron as usual.

 

You can do this once a week, or once every two weeks.

 

The oils don't just coat your hair, but they actually get absorbed by the hair follicle, and it reinstates all the moisture you're missing in your hair.

 

I went to a wedding this past weekend, did the oil mask the night before. It was humid the next day, and not even one strand puffed.

 

Makes your hair super soft and shiny too.

 

Oh, and "fancy shampoos and conditioners" are a load of garbage. It's just nonsense chemicals that mask any real fixing of the hair. The best shampoo/conditioner for thick, dry, wiry hair, is Aussi. I use their 7-1 Miracle Shampoo/Condition, and their 3-Minute Miracle deep conditioners.

 

Described my mane to a T.

 

I am going to try this!

[S_A]

Here is my question. Doesn't shampooing twice sort of defeat the purpose? Shampoo dries out the same hair that I just spent time treating using the coconut oil and olive oil.

[KatZee]

Here is my question. Doesn't shampooing twice sort of defeat the purpose? Shampoo dries out the same hair that I just spent time treating using the coconut oil and olive oil.

 

No.

 

As I wrote earlier, the oils are actually absorbed by the hair shaft itself. The oil isn't just coating the outer layer. So shampooing doesn't defeat anything.

 

If you don't get the oil off entirely you're going to look like a grease ball.

Edited November 10, 2015 by KatZee

[S_A]

No.

 

As I wrote earlier, the oils are actually absorbed by the hair shaft itself. The oil isn't just coating the outer layer. So shampooing doesn't defeat anything.

 

If you don't get the oil off entirely you're going to look like a grease ball.

 

 

What kind of shampoo do you use? I honestly don't think I'd mind a tad bit of grease. My hair never gets oily. I think it needs it. I think I may have to leave it in my hair for a day or something when I don't have to go anywhere.

[S2B]

The ingredients on most shampoos are much the same as dish soap - which is drying to your hair.

 

Hair needs moisture - and you need to kick in the moisture.

 

I love natural hair products. The deva curl line is awesome.

 

You can wash with the conditioner which is very moisturizing! You can then leave some in for added moisture. Next is a water based gel. You scrunch the gel in and don't touch the hair until it's dry. Then scrunch it after its dry and let the hair do whatever it's gonna do.

 

 

My hair never gets frizzy or puffy with this routine. Even if I'm caught out in the rain it dries just like it always looks! It looks wavy, curly and fun! It goes wherever it wants but behaves!

 

 

It may be useful to clarify your hair from all the buildup of products you've used = a fresh start. A paste of baking soda and water to scrub the scalp and clean any residue from the hair is useful. Rinse rinse rinse. Then mix a bottle of water with a tablespoon or two of vinegar to rinse the head and scalp after washing (I add a drop of lavender essential oil to make it smell good) with the baking soda. Rinse rinse rinse. Finish with the deva one condition and leave it in. Add gel and let it dry. Scrunch with your palms and fluff it at the scalp.

 

I'm sure it will calm every hair down.

 

Look at the deva curl/care website. Best products I've ever used to manage my crazy hair. You can find their line in nice beauty supply stores or order online.

 

I love coconut oil. I use it once a month as a deep conditioner. It's great for so many uses. Olive oil is too heavy for my fine and delicate curls - it weighs it down. Jojoba oil seems to work wonders for me.

 

Don't use wax based products or silicone in anything you put on your hair... It dries it out long term. Don't use "sham poo" deva makes a cleanser called no poo - which is very nice.

 

Naturally curly dot com is a useful website to look at for more info.

[KatZee]

What kind of shampoo do you use? I honestly don't think I'd mind a tad bit of grease. My hair never gets oily. I think it needs it. I think I may have to leave it in my hair for a day or something when I don't have to go anywhere.

 

No, you don't want grease, you're going to look disgusting. It's going to be oily and look like you're dirty.

 

I have the same kind of hair. It doesn't get oily. I use Aussi shampoo's and conditioners. The 7N1 Miracle, or the Moist versions.

 

I can go 4-5 days between shampoos that's how non-oily my hair is, even still, I would never let olive oil and coconut oil just stay there. Just do the application, leave on for 1HR, wash and condition as normal.

 

If you want to let it soak for longer, if you're not going anywhere that's fine. But double shampoo it out when it's time to.

[S2B]

Read the Aussie ingredients. Sulfates are detergents and strip and dry the hair. Also it contains silicones which will smooth the hair initially but dry it out over time. The added salt is drying as well.

[S_A]

Read the Aussie ingredients. Sulfates are detergents and strip and dry the hair. Also it contains silicones which will smooth the hair initially but dry it out over time. The added salt is drying as well.

 

 

Damnit! Just bought an Aussie Shampoo (big bottle) and the second ingredient is a sulfate. It actually looks like all my shampoos have sulfates.

Edited November 10, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Haydn]

Use a `fudge` type product and you can re-style through the day. There are some very good ones out there.

 

I too know of the perils of not having a good `Barnet`

 

Good luck and here`s `to no more bad hair days!`

[S2B]

Most shampoos have harsh ingredients. You have to learn and read the labels.

 

There's not many choices that are actually good for your hair.

 

Mine has gotten so balanced and healthy I only need to cleanse it once or twice a week. Leaves time for refreshing it each day with a water and lavender misting and I'm good to go.

 

The gel keeps it "set" all week.

[GemmaUK]

I was about to say don't buy Aussie...too late..

 

I stopped using shampoo with sulphates about 4 years ago and I don't use any silcones.

I just use cheapo grocery store's own conditioner which has no silicone to wash with and a more expensive silicone free conditioner as a leave in.

I use a micro fibre towel to dry my hair and never use a comb or a brush on it.

I also never use a hair dryer or any heated gadgets.

If you do need a brush or comb of some kind get a tangle teaser.

I also do a treatment about once a week with coconut or olive oil and leave it on overnight. I wash that out with a sulphate free shampoo.

 

Look up 'Co- washing/Conditioner Washing/The Curly Girl Method on youtube or there is also a forum called The Long Hair Community and there is a huge thread in the ain section on there about co-washing.

The method can be used on any type of hair, not just curly hair.

 

I used to always be dry and frizzy, now I have smooth botticelli type curls and once I switched the difference became apparent immediately - then over time my hair has just got better.. :)i

[S_A]

Use a `fudge` type product and you can re-style through the day. There are some very good ones out there.

 

I too know of the perils of not having a good `Barnet`

 

Good luck and here`s `to no more bad hair days!`

 

What do you mean by "fudge"? I'm assuming you mean like a clay? Clays will just make it worse. I can't style it properly anymore because my hair is too dry now. Personally, I am not a big fan of clays. My 2 favorite products right now are Hybridized Wax and Scheme Creme by Hanz De ***o.

 

I really do not think the issue is the product. I think the issue is actual hair care.

[Tayla]

argan oil ( pure) , coconut oil, mayonaise, olive oil. each worth mentioning.

 

sulfates are lathering agents. no harm no foul as the minute amount is not harmful. Although the media would tell you unfoundedly.

Funny that with the media hype... they charge more to take an ingredient out. Silly really.

 

Experiment and adjust ...

 

Technically with shampooing you want to reduce the oil (old and clogging the hair shafts) and wait about an hour or two before conditioning... some regimes is to do an overnight conditioning... just rinse in the morning with a cider vinegar rinse... diluted with spring water or mineral water. I use lavendar to diffuse the vinergar scent...

[Haydn]

I was about to say don't buy Aussie...too late..

 

I stopped using shampoo with sulphates about 4 years ago and I don't use any silcones.

I just use cheapo grocery store's own conditioner which has no silicone to wash with and a more expensive silicone free conditioner as a leave in.

I use a micro fibre towel to dry my hair and never use a comb or a brush on it.

I also never use a hair dryer or any heated gadgets.

If you do need a brush or comb of some kind get a tangle teaser.

I also do a treatment about once a week with coconut or olive oil and leave it on overnight. I wash that out with a sulphate free shampoo.

 

Look up 'Co- washing/Conditioner Washing/The Curly Girl Method on youtube or there is also a forum called The Long Hair Community and there is a huge thread in the ain section on there about co-washing.

The method can be used on any type of hair, not just curly hair.

 

I used to always be dry and frizzy, now I have smooth botticelli type curls and once I switched the difference became apparent immediately - then over time my hair has just got better.. :)i

 

Tangle tweezers are great!

 

My quiff is a blow dry zone on the weekends (If i am allowed out)

 

SA- `Fudge` A good one has saved a night on more than one occasion...

 

Gel....not for me. I like my hair to fall or hang at interesting angles....(Unless the `quiff` is essential)

 

 

Not easy is it?

[GemmaUK]

To be fair some products will just work for some people, others it might work for a little while so then you continue to use it but then the product builds up on the hair shaft and then results in dry looking hair.

 

Someone on here mentioned clarifying which is a good plan if you are going to change what you are doing. Baking soda can be pretty harsh though so I just used a cheap sulphate shampoo with no silicones.

Clarifying will dry your hair - so be warned that it'll not be the best for a few days but it does get rid of any existing build up.

Having said that though you say you use water soluble products so you may not need to clarify.

[GemmaUK]

Tangle tweezers are great!

Teazers Haydn! Lol! We don't want him tweezing his hair out! :

 

 

Not easy is it?

No, took me a while to find what my hair liked.

I bought a tonne of Tresemme conditioner only to find it made my hair feel like a brillo pad..

 

BTW OP: If you don't have a microfiber towel try drying your hair with a 100% cotton t-shirt as it works just as well. Squeeze, don't rub the hair.

[Haydn]

Teazers Haydn! Lol! We don't want him tweezing his hair out! :

 

 

 

No, took me a while to find what my hair liked.

I bought a tonne of Tresemme conditioner only to find it made my hair feel like a brillo pad..

 

BTW OP: If you don't have a microfiber towel try drying your hair with a 100% cotton t-shirt as it works just as well. Squeeze, don't rub the hair.

 

 

I think the woman in the shop saw me coming. I came home with a load of thimbles as well....

[KatZee]

Read the Aussie ingredients. Sulfates are detergents and strip and dry the hair. Also it contains silicones which will smooth the hair initially but dry it out over time. The added salt is drying as well.

 

I've been using Aussi for years straight. They tell you to "switch it up" to refresh your hair and I've never had to with Aussi. Also, read the link below. Specifically:

 

“Sulfate-free shampoos and cleansers are better for hair and skin.” No research has shown that to be even remotely the case. Sulfates are supposed to be terribly drying and damaging to hair, when in fact they function no differently from the cleansing agents in sulfate-free shampoos. Almost every company that touts the fact that they don’t contain sulfates do use detergent cleansing agents such as sodium lauryl sulfoacetate, disodium laureth sulfosuccinate, sodium lauroyl sarcosinate, cocamidopropyl hydroxysultaine...Why those are supposedly any better for skin is never explained, and no research is ever cited—because none exists."

 

I don't have issues with it drying out over time, or having it be initially smoothed and then dried out.

 

Aussi is actually the only shampoo/conditioner that has turned my hair from absolutely horrible to manageable. And I've actually tried the "no cones" "no sulfates" "condition only wash" "no poo method" and all these newfangled ideas on how to "properly" wash your hair.

 

Someone mentioned it, lathering agent, and the amount of it is so low that it's not really the problem they make it out to be.

 

http://www.paulaschoice.com/cosmetic-ingredient-dictionary/definition/sulfates

Edited November 10, 2015 by KatZee

[Els]

Someone here introduced me to Kerastase Elixir Ultime, which I absolutely loved. It's pretty expensive though, so I only use it for special occasions. It isn't perfect (I don't think it's realistic to expect model-like hair in real life conditions like wind etc), but it really does tame my hair better than anything else I've tried.

[KatZee]

Someone here introduced me to Kerastase Elixir Ultime, which I absolutely loved. It's pretty expensive though, so I only use it for special occasions. It isn't perfect (I don't think it's realistic to expect model-like hair in real life conditions like wind etc), but it really does tame my hair better than anything else I've tried.

 

I've heard good things about Kerastase as well, but holy $$$$$ .

 

I wanna hear results after the coconut/EVOO mask from the OP.