gee22 Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 I'm trying to understand on why is my parnter mad and not speaking to me...should I give him space, try to make it work or simply let it go. I had suspected my partner of 12 yrs (whom I have to kids with & have been living together for 7 yrs) was cheating...here and there I would drop lil hints or would say stuff about cheating and a few nights ago my gut told me to check his cell (which is locked) but I was able to see past notifications of another woman! (not to mention a co worker) the texts were of her asking him "oh you miss my smile?" and another saying "for talking so dirty lol" (i flipped and my heart instantly sank!) this man who i sleep beside me was indeed cheating on me! Next day before he left to work I confronted him and told him why would he do that his response "don't know what you are talking about?" I showed him my cell bcus i snaped a pic and he was just like I gotta go I'm already late...i asked him to just be honest and tell me why he was stepping out...he eventually left and gave me no answer...so I called his job and talked to that woman...apparently he had told her we were more off than on and she was sorry for all this (she was very nice and undeestanding) she also said that nothing had physically happened between them not even a kiss...she said she had previously told him to work things out prior to them starting to flirt and sext which only started about a month ago...she told me she would back away and continue like before to tell him to work things out...well when he got home I told him I was willing to work things out that I just wanted to know why he would step out on me (did not get crazy on him lol) he was like you already got your answers long story short (even tho I wrote so much lol) he wss pissed I called his job and now is mad st me and said he doesn't think he wants to be with me and has not talked to me since...now I'm like wth I should be the mad one..don't understand his behavior..now I'm here thinking if I should even try Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 Cheaters almost always minimize, deny, project and blameshift onto you. Just par for the course with a holes like that. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Cheaters almost always minimize, deny, project and blameshift onto you. Just par for the course with a holes like that. Especially when the 'cheating' consists of being dumped and ditched on the side of the road because you were invited to a party that had the guy she was cheating on you with and couldn't take it and had to walk home over 15 miles away, then being set up by a "family sister" for a threesome that, in my book, is completely legitimate because he got dumped after leaving a party her ex FWB who she cheated on him with was present at! Hows that for context?! Oh sorry, wrong monkey, wrong circus. Link to post Share on other sites
fiskadoro Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 I can empathize with your situation. People who cheat and get caught out can do several things: lying about it is about the worst. If he had straightaway apologized, I might say give him another chance. If he had come to you FIRST and confessed, I would be even more inclined to say give him another chance. You had to confront him, he ignored your attempts to talk, and then is willing to break up with you over it? HUGE CAVEAT - only you know what your relationship is like, and what (if any) part you played in his stepping out. That said, I would in no way recommend your staying with him. I love my best friend, he is a great friend and has been since we were ten years old, but he is a dyed in the wool cheater and has NEVER been faithful. Does he feel guilty about it? Yes, very much so. He spends a lot of time feeling actual shame and also wallowing in self-pity. Does he love his wife and children? Yup again. But if no one is looking, I am absolutely certain he would dip off. Cheaters rarely change without some deep remorse and soul searching and then a dedicated effort to explore why one cheated and to never ever do it again. Also, cheaters who don't leave their SO want to have the benefits of being in a relationship (including a monogamous SO) but absolutely none of the responsibilities of fidelity, honesty, and compassion. Let me say that even if his coworker does leave him alone, he will find another. Bail ASAP 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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