Ncpeter12 Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 Me and my ex gf were dating for over a year and a half, and out of the blue she broke up with me after saying she was confused and conflicted. This came as a surprise to me considering our relationship was mostly great. Although I know there are a few things I can improve upon, I believe that the reason she left was because she thinks the grass is greener, whether that means being single or being with someone else. She mentioned maybe we could try again in a couple months, is that just her way of keeping me around? Since the day she ended it, I have not contacted her at all, and she hasn't contacted me. She even ignored my bday, which I know she doesn't have to acknowledge but still came as a surprise to me. I am moving on and taking care of myself, but I am still so curious as to what she is thinking. It has been 5 weeks since the breakup, and I was wondering if anyone has any experiences with this, and if she will eventually come back or probably not? Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 "Out of the blue" is usually not the case. Yes, that is your perception, but in reality she was planning and things had to have been bothering her for a while. Saying "maybe we can try again in a couple months" is one of the standard blurbs from the things to say to ease my guilt repertoire. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lil hoodlum Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 Sorry buddy. That is harsh. Your ex sounds cold hearted. I had the same happen to me with someone I was with for 4.5 years. She was "confused" also. I hate to tell you this but she has her sights on someone else. Whether she cheated or not, who knows. Your clues are a sudden and abrubt break up and not hearing a peep out of her since. Not even a lame text for your birthday? That is cold hearted. I hope a speedy recovery for you from this experience. Link to post Share on other sites
itisdanielle Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 It'll do you so much good to not focus on what she told you when you broke up. A lot of dumpers say things like one day they hope to be together. But the thing is, there is no way of knowing how genuine they are. Usually it's just something for them to say to cushion the blow because they don't want to hurt you. The best thing you can do is focus on her actions. And they are that she chose not to be with you. Good job at the NC though! I know it's tough but you're doing well Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ncpeter12 Posted November 10, 2015 Author Share Posted November 10, 2015 Thanks for the advice and I've suspected all of these things already. I guess what I want to know is how often do people like this eventually regret their decision and come back once they find out the grass isn't greener. Not saying I will actually take her back, but I just want to know what usually happens in these scenarios. Link to post Share on other sites
lil hoodlum Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 In these types of break ups, the other person very rarely comes back. I think it is because these types of break ups are very disrespectful and emoitional very painful for the dumpee. Link to post Share on other sites
fiskadoro Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 (edited) Me and my ex gf were dating for over a year and a half, and out of the blue she broke up with me after saying she was confused and conflicted. This came as a surprise to me considering our relationship was mostly great. Although I know there are a few things I can improve upon, I believe that the reason she left was because she thinks the grass is greener, whether that means being single or being with someone else. She mentioned maybe we could try again in a couple months, is that just her way of keeping me around? Since the day she ended it, I have not contacted her at all, and she hasn't contacted me. She even ignored my bday, which I know she doesn't have to acknowledge but still came as a surprise to me. I am moving on and taking care of myself, but I am still so curious as to what she is thinking. It has been 5 weeks since the breakup, and I was wondering if anyone has any experiences with this, and if she will eventually come back or probably not? Thank you Give her an opening, if you can stomach the possible rejection. Send a holiday card or text. SHe may think that you hate her, she may regret it but need some prompting, or you might get lucky and catch her at a lonely moment and then you're Gucci! Don't try to get her back though, let her do some of the work too, otherwise it's not real. I have broken up with girls and disappeared completely... good women that had no faults, I was just immature or not mentally ready, or stuck in my own a**hole, lacked confidence, listening to my idiot (though well-meaning) friends, whatever. After awhile I thought they wouldn't want me back, or I screwed things up, etc. Then I came to learn that they too were wondering about me. Why not? If you are REALLY prepared to get rejected or ignored, try sending some little opening... if she takes it she is interested, if not, well... Edited November 14, 2015 by fiskadoro Link to post Share on other sites
greenleaves54 Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 Yeah, feeling "confused" means that she wants to date someone else. You didn't mention any ages but I guess she's around 18-25. She might miss you. She might not. No one really knows. But the thing is it doesn't really matter. You seem to have handled this like a pro, moving on and sticking with NC. Whatever happens in the future happens. As far as I've understood, people with "GIGS" usually stay in that phase for quite long, maybe even years. So obviously waiting is not an option (it never is an option). Don't dwell on it. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts