strong-hearted Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Hi, I made this thread because I need people to talk to, I honestly feel so alone like I have no one in this world, my boyfriend moved to Missouri and I live with my mom, I was making plans to move to Missouri with my boyfriend after the holidays but we don't really talk much cuz he says he's always busy, I just need people to talk to and tell me everything is going to be ok at the end Like I said, I feel so alone; I have absolutely no friends and I'm depressed and as of right now I find no purpose with my life Help! Link to post Share on other sites
emi Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Hi, Tell us abit more about yourself Link to post Share on other sites
baffin Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 You aren't really alone. God loves you very much, and He wants the best for you. Putting your happiness in your boyfriend's basket is pretty counterproductive. Is there someone you trust that you can talk with? A local church pastor maybe? Link to post Share on other sites
Author strong-hearted Posted November 11, 2015 Author Share Posted November 11, 2015 well I'm 26yrs old, and I was unemployed and beyond broke, just recently I found a job a the local mall, I'm really frustrated with this situation. I've talked to my boyfriend about the whole communication thing I mean in what relationship it's normal to go a week without talking to the person you're with? I love him but I just don't know what to do, I'm supposed to move in with him to Missouri with him by January (I live in California). And unfortunately I do not have anyone to talk to, no friends or any one, I would talk to my mom about this but I don't really want her to get one more thing to worry about you know Link to post Share on other sites
Dylon Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I've been in two long distance relationships before in the past, one was in another state, another in another country. It's hard. One last over 2 years apart. My friends doubted it and laughed it off but we made it work. We kept in touch with all our free time and met up during the holidays or vacation. You need to be able to do the same with him. That will give you something to look forward to. Without that and the communication and comfort, it's hard. Social media makes things easy these days. Still there needs to be lots of trust involved. What's the plan between you two? If not long term, just short terms like the next meeting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strong-hearted Posted November 12, 2015 Author Share Posted November 12, 2015 I've been in two long distance relationships before in the past, one was in another state, another in another country. It's hard. One last over 2 years apart. My friends doubted it and laughed it off but we made it work. We kept in touch with all our free time and met up during the holidays or vacation. You need to be able to do the same with him. That will give you something to look forward to. Without that and the communication and comfort, it's hard. Social media makes things easy these days. Still there needs to be lots of trust involved. What's the plan between you two? If not long term, just short terms like the next meeting. This is my 1st long distance relationship to be honest, I was really frustrated couldn't hold it in any longer so I called him and we had a long conversation, he said the reason why we don't talk much is because he's been really stressed out dealing with family issues and his brother being a drug addict and having his kids taken away by ss, the plan we came up with is for us to to work make/ save some money until January then I will be moving to Missouri with him. I do trust him and love him and so for now all we can do is just hang on a little longer Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Even when things seem bad, sometimes you can eventually find reason in them, and see what is good. No matter what happens, everything will be ok in the end... Link to post Share on other sites
kevin smithy Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 I know the feeling. Its good to just have some company sometime. Are you on fb. If you are I can tell you my profile and you can have a friend to talk to. Everything will be fine tho. Even the rose needs the rain sometime. Pray and do your best and most importantly look after yoursel . Your happiness matters on top of everything else. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 when you chose your username what were you feeling and thinking.....what helps me when i am alone is i go back to a time when i felt strong...i draw from those experiences and times that i felt good and full of hope.....if i need help to go back there to those times and emotions i felt i surround myself in things i know i enjoy.....like movies or books or poetry or reading....anything that brings me back to where i can build on... i do something that takes my mind and heart off the place i am in..either physically or emotionally in...doesnt matter which ...i can choose to not be there and stay there......its a secret of mine...a strategy......not so much a secret now ...big mouth that i am.....;0) loneliness is a place your heart resides ....a like...... non fixed address.....if you find the neighbourhood rough..the bed uncomfortable.....find a retreat elsewhere...i often retreat to my faith i find solace in books.....movies....aromas even...ill bake because i love the smells...its soothing for me....pies are a go to when i am lonely...just have to control that i dont eat them...which my family helps me with... make something for your mum and take it to her.......do the things you love to do .and if you want to make new friends...join a group that appreciates what you love ...that shares the passions you have.......surround yourself in physical reminders of what you love that is in the here and now not what you miss...these are some of my secrets anyway...I hope that they might help you...deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author strong-hearted Posted November 12, 2015 Author Share Posted November 12, 2015 Thank you guys so much, one thing I like to do is read, I also write in a journal. I write about how I feel and I just pour my heart out to it and it really helps never knew being in a long distance relationship could be a bit complicated Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Like I said, I feel so alone; I have absolutely no friends and I'm depressed and as of right now I find no purpose with my life Help! If you have no friends and no sense of purpose in your life, then you will still feel alone and detached and empty even if you are in the same room with him 24/7. One person simply cannot fulfill those needs no matter how good of a partner they are (and it doesn't sound like he is all-in, but that is a completely different issue) If you have good circle of friends and have positive, supportive relationships with them, and you have a good sense of purpose and are making positive strides towards those goals, then you will feel connected and fulfilled even if you do not have a romantic partner. Your LDR and poor communication from your BF is not the source of your feelings of dispondment, it is your lack of connection with other people in general and your lack of sense of purpose. Find those things and you will feel more purposeful and fulfilled regardless of the state of your relationship with your BF. If you don't find those things, you will still feel disconnected and unfulfilled regardless of the state of your relationship with your BF. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strong-hearted Posted November 15, 2015 Author Share Posted November 15, 2015 yes everything you're saying makes sense, I've also started to see a counselor because I want to work on myself and just have a healthy relationship cuz believe me I love my bf and I want to make this relationship work Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 well I'm 26yrs old, and I was unemployed and beyond broke, just recently I found a job a the local mall, I'm really frustrated with this situation. I've talked to my boyfriend about the whole communication thing I mean in what relationship it's normal to go a week without talking to the person you're with? I love him but I just don't know what to do, I'm supposed to move in with him to Missouri with him by January (I live in California). And unfortunately I do not have anyone to talk to, no friends or any one, I would talk to my mom about this but I don't really want her to get one more thing to worry about you know Sweetie, very gently...a guy wants a girl who is excited about life, happy, has goals and interests and hobbies, even if you move there, he cant and shouldn't be your only happiness and reason to live...you've gotta do some soul searching...some living... Life doesn't deliver you friends and interests...you make them..you join clubs, you find work, you meet contacts. Your frozen on the couch or in your room...lettung life pass you by. Your BF found a life and opportunity in Missouri and was brave enough to uproot his life and likely wants a better new and happy start. Maybe you seem a debbie downer...crying about no money, no friends, never talking to him...maybe he thinks you will cling to him or bring him down and he may be losing interest...you gotta toughen up, cheer up, change your outlook, join a running group, an art class, get a grant for school...make a life, not tag along with his. Surely you are kind, interesting, are able to volunteer...Id get two jobs and start by going out with some of the girls at work..get a fresh haircut, get out of this funk. You can do this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strong-hearted Posted November 15, 2015 Author Share Posted November 15, 2015 I really appreciate your kind words, and it's true I shouldn't be sitting here and just watching my life pass me by. I gotta get back up on my feet and get my stuff together, I realized I got a whole life ahead of me and I should NOT be wasting it and I think if I really feel how I feel instead of feeling sorry for myself I just do something about it, idk if you guys can agree with me on that one Link to post Share on other sites
laurah Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Here's what you do in my opinion because I was in a Long-distance relationship recently that turned into a local relationship when I moved in with him recently so I think I can help a bit. I'll tell you my story first for an example. So I started dating people online on a site called ok cupid some months ago. I met a few people but no one that really clicked until one day I did. He messaged me first and said he was interested in talking to me so I started to talk to him. We seemed to like a lot of the same stuff and he said would you want to date me. So I took a look at his profile and I saw his location. It said Texas and I was in Indiana. I always had a rule about not dating anyone too far away from me. So I told him that he's too far away from me and it would be hard to have a relationship or even dating. He said he realizes that but there are lots of people who do it and they make it work. He said he would treat me good cause he was raised right and we would make it work. I said idk. He said I do. It will be fine. So I took a chance and started seriously talking to him. We kik'ed each other (a form of texting--an app) and skyped the following day. We talked for hours without running out of things to talk about. Over the month we got really close to each other and our texts were getting romantic. Then he said when are you going to come visit me? I wanna see you so bad. I said as soon as I can I'll come and get the money together for airfaire. Then right before I was leaving in august to come there he said this: even if you were not coming at all I would still feel the same way about you. I love you very much and would always want to be with you. that will never change. So I came there and we really hit it off even more in person and I was sad when I had to leave to go back home. Deep down I didn't want to leave. I got home and the distance was just killing me. I hated being without him but I learned to cope pretty well. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. I kept telling myself that soon enough I will be moving there and will be with him permanently. But soon enough was in January and we had trouble waiting that long. So I ended coming down there in October and I couldn't be happier. I love him so much and wouldn't change a thing.Our relationship is going really well and I am extremely happy I'm here with him. He was worth the wait. (btw as I'm typing this he's going nuts. lol) So my point of that story. Long-distance relationships are not easy. they're hard. in my opinion they're harder than a relationship where the people live close to each other. you can't see the person and physically touch them. But if you really love the person it's worth the wait in the end. If the outcome would be you being very happy and in love then I say go for it. Idk how far along your feelings are for each other at this time. only you know that. Just know what lies ahead when being apart from each other. I was 988 miles or so away from my fiancee and the distance was killing me but I wouldn't change it for anything. If I didn't agree to date him then I would have never met him and be living with him. I would've passed up the guy of my dreams. Sometimes the temporary pain we go through is worth it if the end outcome is something that we long for. To help with the distance you could send him hand written cards/ letters. Send personalized care packages. (For example: I sent patrick a video game care package. I put some video games in there along with a video game tee-shirt and a zelda watch. and shipped it to his house.) the little things you do for him and he does for you will help with the longing to see them and the distance. Try to reach out to him. Have you tried calling/texting him recently? Here's a link about coping with a LDR: How to Cope With A Long Distance Relationship | eHow Link to post Share on other sites
laurah Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 I really appreciate your kind words, and it's true I shouldn't be sitting here and just watching my life pass me by. I gotta get back up on my feet and get my stuff together, I realized I got a whole life ahead of me and I should NOT be wasting it and I think if I really feel how I feel instead of feeling sorry for myself I just do something about it, idk if you guys can agree with me on that one Pick yourself up and do something with your time. Don't get down in the dumps and depressed. I know it's hard now but it will get easier trust me. Also in terms of making friends you could try this site called girlfriend social. I made two friends on there in my area recently. Link to post Share on other sites
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