seeingthisguy Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I think I speak for everyone when I say "WT actual F" on this one. For some reason, my ex-bf's new gf is trying to befriend me. Why? And does not wanting to be her friend in any way make me a bad person? Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Whaaaaaat? When my ex & I were still together, we were both FB friends with the girl he ended up dating shortly after dumping me. But this is weird. And you are absolutely not a bad person for not wanting to be her friend. Don't overthink it. Decline the request. Link to post Share on other sites
loverboy69 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 It might not have been her that sent the request. Just saying. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Something similar happened to me a number of years ago. I didn't accept the request, and no, it doesn't make you a bad person. Accepting that request is asking for trouble, in my opinion. Perhaps she's insecure and wants to know who was in her place before her. In any case, I would simply ignore the request. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 This isn't weird at all...it's more the norm. Jealous girl will want to be friends with all the new guy attractive and who appear to be single female friends basically staking her claim to this man. Link to post Share on other sites
Empyrea Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Maybe she accidentally sent the request while stalking you. It happens 13 Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Yes sounds like a insecure move, ignore, delete. You have no reason to be friends with this woman. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 If you are still friends with your EX on social media the new GF may be trying to keep tabs on you. Just click ignore but do consider unfriending your EX 1 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I would block her! Link to post Share on other sites
andie1969 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Maybe she accidentally sent the request while stalking you. It happens I agree with this! I've ALMOST done this myself lol, stalking while on a phone or ipad it's easy to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Depends if you have interacted with her in real life. If you have spoken to her a few times then yes I d "consider" adding her. With people who i have NEVER met and just ask me for a friend request I find odd. I feel some people want to have a nosey in your life. I had one person add me. Add all my friends on my friends list and then deleted me! lol The best action? Do NO ACTION at all. Just leave the friend request sitting there. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Does she know you know who she is? If not, she's probably trying to spy on you and doesn't realize you know her name and everything. If she knows you know who she is, there is a small chance she's wanting to talk to you about him for some reason. If there's been any competitive interaction with her in the past, then she's probably just bugging you and you should block her. Link to post Share on other sites
Ic1 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Perhaps she's the kind that tries to have as many FB friends as possible. Know those kinds that have thousands of FB friends. They send random invites and you ask "Who's that?" Link to post Share on other sites
Author seeingthisguy Posted November 11, 2015 Author Share Posted November 11, 2015 Something similar happened to me a number of years ago. I didn't accept the request, and no, it doesn't make you a bad person. Accepting that request is asking for trouble, in my opinion. Perhaps she's insecure and wants to know who was in her place before her. In any case, I would simply ignore the request. Agree 100%. We've bumped into eachother on occasion (with my ex BF); in every instance she's made it super uncomfortable. In the first instance, she made her older girlfriend introduce her to me; in the second instance, she gave my ex some serious sh*t for having a drink with me at the bar. He and I are friends and on good terms. Which is why the friend request is baffling me. But you're right - an insecure move no doubt. Link to post Share on other sites
LivingDeadGrl Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I had one of my exes new prospects accidentally add me to Facebook a few weeks ago. I am assuming she found me through his, although we are no longer friends. She deleted the request but I still got the notification on my phone. I find it hilarious they have to creep the ex. I haven't creeped anyone my ex has started seeing, and haven't tried to creep any of my new boyfriend's exes. Just shows you're insecure. Link to post Share on other sites
schiller Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Maybe they're having problems and she wants to chat with you. Maybe they just broke up and she wants to commiserate with you. Two of my ex girlfriends (I dumped both of them) became FB friends. I jokingly refer to them as my exgfs FB club. Not currently open to new members. Link to post Share on other sites
Author seeingthisguy Posted November 12, 2015 Author Share Posted November 12, 2015 Maybe they're having problems and she wants to chat with you. Maybe they just broke up and she wants to commiserate with you. Two of my ex girlfriends (I dumped both of them) became FB friends. I jokingly refer to them as my exgfs FB club. Not currently open to new members. Ha! Sorry to hear a club has formed in your name. His new gf's insecurity aside, I don't believe in conversing with another gf (past or present) about things When it comes to an ex. What happened between him and I is our business; yeah we had our problems, and sure I thought he sucked sometimes, but I'm not really jonesing to compare notes with someone who's only common factor with me is that we slept with the same dude. Lol. Feel free to pass that piece of knowledge on to your "fan club". Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 This is indeed very weird (assuming it wasn't a mistake or an automatic thing triggered by another app). I'm on the other end; my boyfriend's ex added me on Instagram and is now "liking" my photos even though he left her and immediately began dating me. I don't get it. I think unless you genuinely like the other person and have a good relationship, exes and "currents" should stay at a respectful distance. Link to post Share on other sites
kismetkismet Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 hahah I would bet that it was either a)She was stalking you on facebook and accidentally requested you (has happened to a couple of people I know) b)She has some questions for you about the ex.. Either about suspicious behaviour or something about your relationship maybe.. is he a shady person? since she has been strange towards you in the past, I would bet that it's the former. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 A friend of mine recently received a friend request on facebook from her ex (the father of her child)'s ex. It turned out she wanted to ask if he'd ever been abusive towards her because she'd finally decided to seek some counselling for how he treated her in the relationship. They got talking and were both half horrified and half relieved to know that he'd treated them both equally appallingly. Physical and mental abuse. But you can send a message without adding someone, unless it's gone into your other folder. Have you checked to see if she's messaged you? Could just have been an accident. I'd just delete it personally. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
blackcat777 Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Ignoring her is the most respectful thing you can do... for yourself, and for their new relationship, because it's RARELY, rarely, RARELY ever possible to be friends with an ex. Ignoring her will make you the good guy, even if she can't appreciate it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author seeingthisguy Posted November 13, 2015 Author Share Posted November 13, 2015 hahah I would bet that it was either a)She was stalking you on facebook and accidentally requested you (has happened to a couple of people I know) b)She has some questions for you about the ex.. Either about suspicious behaviour or something about your relationship maybe.. is he a shady person? since she has been strange towards you in the past, I would bet that it's the former. Honestly: he's the worst. He's straight up hit on me and flirted with me in front of her, which is why I'm trying to keep distance between him and I as well. To be honest I feel bad for her; I'd never put up with that. I'm pretty sure she wants to "friend" me to make sure she can keep an eye on our interactions (if any occur). Even when I bump into them, she comes across as insecure, and constantly making it known that she is indeed his gf. Link to post Share on other sites
kismetkismet Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Honestly: he's the worst. He's straight up hit on me and flirted with me in front of her, which is why I'm trying to keep distance between him and I as well. To be honest I feel bad for her; I'd never put up with that. I'm pretty sure she wants to "friend" me to make sure she can keep an eye on our interactions (if any occur). Even when I bump into them, she comes across as insecure, and constantly making it known that she is indeed his gf. Ugh that's just awful/awkward for everyone. I would definitely keep your distance from the whole situation. Did you do anything about it/hear anything from her? She could also be doing it so that your bf thinks that you and her are somehow in contact.. So that he feels less comfortable reaching out to you/hitting on you in private or something. Either way I feel bad for her, if things are that strained and stressful it doesn't sound like a very fun relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 I think I speak for everyone when I say "WT actual F" on this one. For some reason, my ex-bf's new gf is trying to befriend me. Why? And does not wanting to be her friend in any way make me a bad person? No, you're not a bad person, you are someone who doesnt want drama in her life. This woman sounds like trouble, as you say WTF? Link to post Share on other sites
MoreAmore Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 (edited) I think I speak for everyone when I say "WT actual F" on this one. For some reason, my ex-bf's new gf is trying to befriend me. Why? And does not wanting to be her friend in any way make me a bad person? I stay friends with all my exes so I wouldn't be surprised to get a friend request and would add to make it obvious I am NOT a threat. I've made some great friends through exes new girlfriends! I've never initiated except the mother of my guy's child when we got engaged. I want to help form a family relationship because they are not very well connected and I think that's awful for the child. So far, so good! Everyone is getting along better now. If I was not friends with that ex and had no desire to be, it would be much stranger and I would not. Edited November 14, 2015 by MoreAmore Link to post Share on other sites
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