Am I paranoid or is it really happening?

[Mina_Harper]

Hey guys,

 

I am new here and I would really appreciate your input on this matter:(. My fiancee and I have moved to a new city together a few months ago. In the first few days we've met this new girl at work and she was super nice. As the time passed she got more and more touchy with my fiancee and they are always fooling around: pranking each other, acting like kids and generally teasing one another.

 

Then, at some point it got so bad, that my fiancee had to tell her to meet (behind my back) to tell her to stop acting like that. Since then she calmed down for a while, but now they seem to be starting again with the childish playfight and not mentioning that they talk on facebook every day. Like we dont even get home properly and she messages him or she talks to him every day on facebook but she barely says hi to me. Or she sends him invites to events, but not me (and supposedly we all are friends). I must sound like a proper paranoid weirdo now. I told my fiancee about this and he said he doesnt see her as a partner but he sees her as a little sister.

Not mentioning that if we watch a series together and she messages him, he doesnt reply to the message until I leave for a second.

 

And then one day I went out for a coffee with her and she told me that she slept with her friend's boyfriend like a year ago, but now she regrets it. But she said that still, she would do it again. I mean wtf???? Am I in the wrong or is something acually going on between them? Thanks.

[d0nnivain]

I don't know that anything physical has already happened but she certainly isn't one to be trusted. Have you talked to your FI about what she said & how their behavior makes you feel? have you told him you'd prefer if he cool it with her? If you have but he hasn't at a minimum you need to put your wedding plans on hold.

[PegNosePete]

she barely says hi to me. Or she sends him invites to events, but not me (and supposedly we all are friends).

Well, she has the right to say what she likes, and invite whomever she likes to her events.

 

Your BF's responses on the other hand I think you have an interest in. What does he say? Does he say "sure WE'D love to come"? Dos he ask her why she hasn't invited you?

 

I think your BF's actions are the ones you should be examining.

 

Not mentioning that if we watch a series together and she messages him, he doesnt reply to the message until I leave for a second.

Well, if he replied before you left then you'd be complaining that he replies to her while watching a series with you. Which would indeed be rude and disrespectful.

 

Am I in the wrong or is something acually going on between them?

I don't know if anything is going on between them, but he certainly seems to be disrespecting you and your relationship. That is the direction I'd aim any discussion you have with him. Not at her, but at his actions and how they make you feel.

[sandylee1]

Think very carefully if you want to marry a man who is not capable of shutting out another woman like this. She's pretending to be your friend..but she isn't. If your fiancé hasn't already, this will turn into an affair and he could still end up marrying you while sleeping with her.

 

Google the book 'not just friends' by Shirley Glass. He may not be aware yet.....but this woman is creating problems and does not recognise boundaries with committed men. There are too many like her out there...your man needs to shut them down pronto.