Reconciliation gone wrong? Not sure what's happening in my situation.

[thatguyoverthere555]

Im going through a situation with my ex-girlfriend/girlfriend at the moment and it's driving me nuts. I appreciate the outside input and will try to summarize as best as possible.

 

We've been broken up for awhile and tried to stay friends after I moved out. That was too hard on me, so I gave us a little over a month of no contact. We met up this past weekend and went home together. She completely poured her heart out to me. Saying that she may want us to get married in the future. She tried to move on but can't find the things she loves about me in other people. She wanted to give us a shot again. Asked if I wanted her to be my girlfriend again and many other things heartfelt things. I was completely taken aback. I've been doing my best to move on and was actually making progress, but I still really love this girl and I would love to make this work and spend my life with her.

 

We spent the whole weekend together and it went really well. She told me she had a great time with me. Our nights were so passionate and I really felt we were getting our strong connection back. We told each other how much we loved and missed each other.

 

We both have second jobs now so our time is very limited. I asked her if she wanted to get together when she got off a couple of nights ago but she was tired and ready for bed. Totally understandable. Last night she was hanging out with good friends all night. It seems that I'm the one starting all of our conversations through text and that she's not too into it. Short responses, not asking questions etc. She hasn't been saying any relationship type stuff. Just very distant.

 

It's only been a few days but I really don't want to screw this up. I want to talk to her and make sure we're on the same page but I don't know when we'll have free time to meet up. Is she regretting the weekend or feeling like this is moving too fast? How could you say all of those serious things and then just back off so quickly?

 

I need advice all. What gives?

[pidgeon1010]

Her WORDS must match her ACTIONS. Talk is cheap. You have to hang back and let her do the work (I assume she was the dumper?). You know someone is serious about reconciliation if they say they want you back and they make the effort through actions to move the reconciliation process along. It's that simple. Anything else is a waste of time and you shouldn't put much stock in it.

[thatguyoverthere555]

I agree. Actions definitely speak louder. Should I just go low contact for awhile and see if she wants to spend time together? Also. How could someone say these things and not mean them? I'm not doubting that she did but I think she's getting cold feet. We were together for many years and happy for most of them. I just want to show her how great of a boyfriend I can be as I've made many great changes since the breakup.

[greenleaves54]

If a reconciliation is going to work I think both of you need to put ALL the cards on the table regarding feelings etc. I don't think it's going to work if there's doubt or uncertainty or fear of asking questions.

 

You need to have a long talk. Ask her if she's really super super sure she wants this, otherwise you're not in. Either you get back together completely and fully, or you don't at all, in my opinion.

[thatguyoverthere555]

I definitely agree. I'll take a step back and wait for her to have time to hang out. We'll definitely be having a talk about it. I think the issue is that maybe we jumped right back into it too fast and she's having second thoughts. The only thing I can do I feel is back off until she's ready for us to talk and get some clarity.