Carriages Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 This is a side question to my main thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/553761-i-need-support which so many people have kindly contributed to. I have identified an avoidance behavior that I've long had in my marriage. In my toughest moments, I would often survive by buying something expensive and shiny. I'd research it for months. It'd become a necessity. I'd purchase the thing, devote myself to it for a couple of weeks then the cycle would start over. I've done the same thing with big overseas family holidays. It always seemed like rather benign (and certainly very common) behavior. But I've recently realised that all along it was a knee jerk response to my low points, and a way of avoiding facing the fact I wasn't getting joy in my marriage. I'm even doing it now. Telling myself I can buy a new jetski if/when I return, knowing it'll be a *great* thing for the kids. Can anyone identify with what I'm talking about??? I think I have to stop doing this. The material stuff needs to be an adjunct to a happy marriage and existence, not as an escape from having to face problems. Link to post Share on other sites
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 You said it yourself, its an escape. I did this with vacation for a couple of years. It seemed to occupy a lot of my free time. Planning, reading reviews for everything, checking prices on flights/hotels/rentals, forum discussions to help plan... The next get away from life almost seemed to consume my life. Pretty sad and pathetic way to live really. Link to post Share on other sites
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