Overcoming an office "feud"

[epigineer]

TLDR: I seemingly have a feud with a development (not direct) manager, even though I don't want it. Try to overcome the social awkwardness.

 

Here goes the story: I'm a software engineer in test (aka tester, Quality Assurance, Quality Control). In the project that I'm working on, the dev (cross-functional, not direct) manager is used to manual testers, and to be frank, seems not to think very highly of testers. When I joined the project (and the company), the project already started for a few weeks. Even though I'm still trying to catch up, I proposed quite a drastic change: automated (as opposed to manual) testing approach and emphasizing developers to test their code. It also requires some initial investment, mostly me spending sometime to work on some framework to make automation easier.

 

It is probably too a drastic change to my dev manager, and she was resistant to it. She resented me for keeping asking her developers to test, seemingly affecting development "speed" (i.e. her performance). She probably preferred me to just verify it the old way (manually), and mark the works as done. It does not help that QEs with senior titles also do the old way in another similar project. My direct manager (QE manager) is not directly involved in the project; he liked my approach, but could not help much. Also, even though I'm catching up pretty quickly, I was probably not up to speed to the dev manager's liking.

 

The resentment culminated in a meeting where I presented my automation framework. Long story short: the dev manager spent the Q&A session belittling me: something like her favorite developer can make it better easily (despite not knowing his skill to work on this framework), and testing that particular project is hard, and implying that I am probably not capable of testing it.

 

In the end, I used that framework to test and I opened bugs after bugs. Other project stakeholders are impressed. Now, she knows I was not stupid and I was right in my approach.

 

I don't want to hold a grudge. However, it has been a few months since that meeting, but the social awkwardness does not go away. Me being a quiet and keep-to-himself person does not help (she is very extrovert, however). Even though we have some small talks, I can feel that we did not get along well compared with other team members (developers and another QE who joined later). Me Japanese with an accent, her white American might be a factor, though. Every time I say something (e.g., certain tasks are hard and cannot be done given current priorities), it feels like I am against her.

 

I believe the awkwardness comes from she belittling me publicly. I'm very conscious (or nervous?) around her. Again, it is closer to fear than holding a grudge. It would be great if someone can give me some tip to overcome this. I want to get along with everyone and enjoy while doing my job.

 

p.s.: If some software engineering-related jargons are confusing you, please let me know. I tried to keep it generic.

[edgygirl]

Does it make sense to friendly invite her for a quick lunch break or coffee, and try to clear things out in a non-confrontational way? Sometimes honesty and being open can help improve things... unless she's a total snake / back stabber / unnaproachable / the type who holds grudges.