HansonGirl Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 if a guy is a jerk to his girl, and puts her down and basically is clearly a narcissist, how can it be that he has so many friends? is it that these fools don't see him for what he is? or do narcissists really treat their significant others differently? Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 People who are very narcissistic, manipulate others to get what they want. This is pretty much the story of their lives. They are not good at empathising, so have merely learnt to fake care and compassion etc. in an effort to maintain relationships-which explains why the guy you're referring to has "so many friends". And I repeat, they are very good at faking congeniality to reap their harvest, so to speak. The reason why they abuse the people closest to them, is that they can. The people who fall in love with narcissistic people, have usually grown up in a family who has at least one abusive/narcissistic parent, so they are more likely to couple with someone expressing these personality traits-it's familiar to them-so, they are less likely to leave their narcissistic partner. Hope this helps. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 If the narcissist is only mean to his girlfriend in private, but nice to her in public, people may not know what he's really like. The narcissist can be quite good at putting on a front. If for some reason he does treat her badly in front of others, he'll attract friends who don't really care about that....so long as he is nice to THEM. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AspenBaldwin Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 He has tons of friends because they don't really know him. If they did they would stay away from him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 they might not be friends .. but rather an audience or a following. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful714 Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 The above is so true. If you look closer, you will see the n has many friends, and many "former" friends who got f'd over by him and/or have seen his true colors. Examine the manipulation that goes on in his interactions. When I dated my n ex, I was amazed at how he manipulated those around him, and I used to laugh to myself that he was like a puppeteer. It wasn't real funny though....it was sick. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jack237 Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 Having 5 years of being subjected to horriffic narcissist abuse by my Ex girlfriend. Here are some real world tell tale signs a person is Covert Narcissist: - They are never there for you, especially if you have an emotional need. - You are always there for them, except once... They will never let that go. - The lie. About everything. Big. Small. Doesnt matter. - They make you 100% aware that they "Have Options". - They will tell you about every flirt they receive... They try to inject jealousy. - They live on Facebook. - They are highly selective and screen tags of online photo posts. - Everyone thinks they are SO nice, SO wonderful, BUT... thats only because they dont really know them at all. A NARCISSIST TEST If they lie to you... And you are 100% sure... Beyond doubt they are lying... Call them a Liar. If the conversation ends right there... Followed by silent treatment. You will know. NEVER criticize or call out a Narcissist. They do not entertain such silly impossibilities. They are flawless You're the crazy one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 My father is a narcissist. Diagnosed etc. Now the way he maintains some long-term friendships is by never showing his true colours to them whatsoever. He has a long series of people that he absolutely craps on. (Starting with his children and employees. We often joke that he's having a "Firing Fair" at his place). The people he craps on give him a sort of "energy" to be a two-faced suck-up to everyone else that he views as respectable or superior. The same man that walked into my uncle's funeral saying loudly how everyone there "hasn't aged as gracefully as I have. I look the same as I did 20 years ago and it looks like none of you are taking any kind of care of yourselves. Gonna end up just like Bob here." Newsflash! We are all going to end up just like Bob. Plus my Dad has actually not aged well at all. I have no idea how he could look at my Mom's classically handsome cousins and say that to them (who are in full grief) at their father's funeral. I suspect he was VERY jealous of my Mom's oldest cousin who lead a pretty charmed life (professional hockey player, wealthy, great relationship with the family). He always went out of his way to be a total jerk to my Moms cousins and cut her off from her family. Unless he wanted money. But to people who "look up to him" he will walk over coals to give them extra attention And get his kibbles. If (and it has happened) they find out or are close to finding out what he really is, he degrades and discards them immediately. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 He hasn't burned bridges with them yet because he curries their favor; it's different with a girlfriend because she has 'committed' herself to him, so he's free to abuse her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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