Slept with my ex, but she has a new partner.

[goatboytone]

Hi, I will try and make this as brief as possible. Something has happened that has left me confused.

I had an on off relationship with a woman that finally ended properly 6 months ago. I made all the mistakes of calling her continually and asking her to come back etc. She told me that she was now with somebody new and was not interested anymore so I tried my best to just get on with my life and not call her any more.

 

After about 2 months of no contact she texts me out of the blue to ask if she could come round for a chat. Part of me still loves her so I said yes. She arrives at my flat and basically proceeds to cry and tell me how she thinks she might have made a mistake and that she can't stop thinking about me and that she thinks she may still love me, but is confused. All this leads to a lot of touching cuddling etc and we almost just fall into complete lust a couple of times but then she stops me and says she can't do this to her new boyfriend. She leaves after a lot of talking and flirting.

 

She proceeds to come round a further two times, this time she doesn't resist and we spend two really nice days together having really amazing intimate sex and just talking for hours and she even spends the night the third time she comes round. She keeps having these moments of guilt throughout and saying "I can't believe I'm doing this", she even cries about it.

After spending the night the last time, she sends me a text saying that all her feelings for me are still there and she loves me, but she needs to think about what she's doing and if it would be a mistake to go back on moving on in her life. She says she needs some space to think.

 

Since then we have had a couple of small dramas, I called and her boyfriend answered and told me to stay away and a third party found out what had happened and berated her for it. We had a couple of really long phone calls where she said she loved me but really needed some space to think. The last conversation was 3 days ago and the last time I saw her was about 3 weeks ago. I want to believe that she is really thinking things through and that we will work things out as I am still in love with her after all this time. But part of me is worried that she might be stringing me along and how can she be thinking about what to do if she is in a relationship with somebody else? Can anybody shed some light on this as I'm really quite stressed about it. What should I do? She has asked for space obviously, but I don't know if she is having space from her current partner or not too. I don't know what's going on in her life and I don't want to as I can get jealous about these things. I just want her back.

 

Sorry for rambling and thanks for reading, any advice, possibly from a female perspective, but any, would be appreciated.

Edited November 12, 2015 by goatboytone

[itisdanielle]

If she truly wanted you back she would have ended things with her boyfriend and then contacted you to try and get you back. And even if she had done it this way, having sex so soon is a mistake in my opinion. For a reconciliation to happen successfully you need to take it slow.

 

I would not speak to her if I were you. It's not fair on her current boyfriend - nobody deserves to be treated that way. It's also not fair what she is doing to you.

[PegNosePete]

Personally I would not put up with that carp. I would tell her that it's him or me and she has 10 seconds to decide.

 

If she chooses him, or won't choose, then you cut her off, for good this time.

 

Otherwise you will be in "relationship purgatory" forever.

[lolablue17]

In my resume I had some girls managed to manipulate me that way along the years. All i can say is that I'm not proud of it, and I wish I'd never fallen for them.